Ranting

I’ve been patting my daughter butt since she was a baby. She’s now 12m almost 13m and I still pat her butt when I hold her and bounce her.

Today, my husband decided to flip out and say that I need to stop patting her butt because “that’s where it all starts from. The twirking, the needing to have her butt smacked when she’s older, etc” and I told him to stop making it weird.

And he goes “how fucking dare you! It’s the world that makes it weird! How fucking dare you! I love my daughter!” Then proceeds to throw something in my direction and storm off. He’s left after storming off and slamming the door.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

well he’s worried about the dark world out there.

EWUH ONE WHY SEXUALIZE SOMETHING THAT WORKS AND EVEN WITH ADULTS IT WORKS......

I mean it sounds like he doesn’t like you doing it period and just needed a reason to ask you to stop and just picked the most outlandish one. I get his concern about the world we live in but he could’ve went about it better. I know you’re ranting and not asking for advice but maybe you should sit him down and talk about it because who tf you throwing things at?

It’s a comfort thing for babies WTH did he sexualise it???

He’s an absolute fucking weirdo and needs his hard drive checking

That is very weird of him. What does twerking have to do with you soothing your baby? The needing to have her butt smacked when she's older? As if it's appropriate at all to think of your baby being influenced sexually by their mom for a pat on the butt. Yikes it's just very alarming. How far is this gonna go? What will be the next thing he freaks out about?

I think it’s odd that he thought that, but that could have been a calm conversation. Him throwing something towards you is a problem and is an even bigger problem if you are holding your baby when he throws it. That does not show love toward you or baby girl and is dangerous for both of you.

in our community

Opinions please???????

As a stay-at-home mum, I struggled with loneliness and feeling like I wasn’t contributing financially after leaving work to raise my child. I eventually found a way to make good money from home, and honestly, we’re doing even better now.

I have a friend who’s also a stay-at-home mum, and she wants me to teach her what I do. My husband, however, doesn’t want me to because he’s concerned about my safety. What do you think I should do?

Husband & an Amsterdam trip

My husband wants to go to Amsterdam with work friends, including women he works with. He cheated on me romantically 5 years ago, and although we worked through it, he refused to ever tell me who the other woman was. He’s also admitted he wouldn’t like it if I went to Amsterdam with male friends.

We’ve been to Amsterdam together several times and have previously smoked weed, eaten space cakes and taken shrooms there, as well as walking through the red light district. So I know what the nightlife can be like and I know he’ll likely be doing drugs while he’s there, rather than this just being a normal sightseeing/work friends trip.

He’ll also be missing my grandma’s 90th birthday party to go, which makes me feel even more conflicted.

Am I unreasonable for feeling really uncomfortable about him going, given our history and everything involved?

Nursery outings

Those with babies in nursery. How often are they offered a walk or trip out whilst in nursery please? When my husband and I were choosing a nursery for us it was important they offered outings or walks as we don’t like the idea of our son indoors all the time. We were told they do however he’s been there 9 weeks and not gone out once. The 2 days he isn’t in they’re going out. I raised it the other week but I’m not sure whether to mention it again as it seems so unfair. The nursery has a small yard but only goes out for a short time each day

Experiences with Busy Bees nursery?

My sons been at a Busy Bees nursery since the beginning of August and would love to hear about other mums’ experiences. So far I’m filled with apprehension because he’s always upset when dropping him off and picking him up, whenever I’ve walked past the nursery at lunchtime (my office is next door) the kids have all been crying and I can see the nursery workers kind of just standing there and not interacting. They’ve also given me no updates on the app even though they keep saying everything’s on the app…

DO you ever feel like your partner hates you??

I do a majority of the cooking
Right and sadly we aren't three richest so I can't always make a full meal every time.
I walk up to him asking him if spinach, cornbread and some form of meat is okay. He started treating me as if I said anything wrong I start giggling (defense thing)
Then he proceeds to belittle me about how cornbread don't replace a starch. I get upset and say never cook for yourself. He continues to make fun of me and belittle me. I tell him how I felt and h said no one cares about your coping mechanism. I'm autistic with BPD who hates arguments. So I go grab my headphones to listen to music instead of listening to him making me feel stupid. I'm from the South I know what a full meal is but we can't afford that since our fridge broke. I had to replace all the food.
HE WANTS TO ALWAYS CLAIM HE'S MORE SOUTHERN THAN ME BUT HE'S FROM BALTIMORE MD 🫠
I'm just so over him treating like im stupid and talking down to me.

Baby’s first food

My 4 month old has never had anything except milk. We were planning to start her on solids from 6 months and start with veggies. Today my MIL took the baby for the day and my partner has now told me she gave the baby oranges and cherries to chew on without consulting with us first. She knew that we’ve never given the baby food. He did express that this was wrong to his mum and my MIL is lovely but a part of me feels weird about this lol I know it's not a big deal but hmm. Also can’t believe I missed my daughters first time tasting food 🥲