Vent About Your Husband/Boyfriend Issues

Losing hope and close to giving up advice from an outsider would help

My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 and a half year our son is 17 months. The issue is he has always smoked weed I didn’t mind how ever since the beginning of this year he has been spending over half our money on it the last 3 months he keeps saying I’m gonna change which he will but never longer than a week his favourite line is next month I’ll do better and will have more money that hasn’t happened yet because of all the spending I am in behind with basically every bill apart from rent due to it getting paid for us since we are a low income household at the moment, however if I break up with him I would be better off financially by about £300-£400 per month it’s getting to the point where I’m staring to hate and resent him but still for some reason love him like if I was to kick him out tomorrow which I can do since the whole flat is in my name he would have nowhere to go so he’d be homeless until our local council will find him somewhere due to his mental conditions just need.
Side note my parents hate him thinks he’s a loser, sponger and a junkie they don’t even know it’s as bad money wise as it is.

in our community

Husband & an Amsterdam trip

My husband wants to go to Amsterdam with work friends, including women he works with. He cheated on me romantically 5 years ago, and although we worked through it, he refused to ever tell me who the other woman was. He’s also admitted he wouldn’t like it if I went to Amsterdam with male friends.

We’ve been to Amsterdam together several times and have previously smoked weed, eaten space cakes and taken shrooms there, as well as walking through the red light district. So I know what the nightlife can be like and I know he’ll likely be doing drugs while he’s there, rather than this just being a normal sightseeing/work friends trip.

He’ll also be missing my grandma’s 90th birthday party to go, which makes me feel even more conflicted.

Am I unreasonable for feeling really uncomfortable about him going, given our history and everything involved?

Experiences with Busy Bees nursery?

My sons been at a Busy Bees nursery since the beginning of August and would love to hear about other mums’ experiences. So far I’m filled with apprehension because he’s always upset when dropping him off and picking him up, whenever I’ve walked past the nursery at lunchtime (my office is next door) the kids have all been crying and I can see the nursery workers kind of just standing there and not interacting. They’ve also given me no updates on the app even though they keep saying everything’s on the app…

DO you ever feel like your partner hates you??

I do a majority of the cooking
Right and sadly we aren't three richest so I can't always make a full meal every time.
I walk up to him asking him if spinach, cornbread and some form of meat is okay. He started treating me as if I said anything wrong I start giggling (defense thing)
Then he proceeds to belittle me about how cornbread don't replace a starch. I get upset and say never cook for yourself. He continues to make fun of me and belittle me. I tell him how I felt and h said no one cares about your coping mechanism. I'm autistic with BPD who hates arguments. So I go grab my headphones to listen to music instead of listening to him making me feel stupid. I'm from the South I know what a full meal is but we can't afford that since our fridge broke. I had to replace all the food.
HE WANTS TO ALWAYS CLAIM HE'S MORE SOUTHERN THAN ME BUT HE'S FROM BALTIMORE MD 🫠
I'm just so over him treating like im stupid and talking down to me.

Nursery outings

Those with babies in nursery. How often are they offered a walk or trip out whilst in nursery please? When my husband and I were choosing a nursery for us it was important they offered outings or walks as we don’t like the idea of our son indoors all the time. We were told they do however he’s been there 9 weeks and not gone out once. The 2 days he isn’t in they’re going out. I raised it the other week but I’m not sure whether to mention it again as it seems so unfair. The nursery has a small yard but only goes out for a short time each day

Baby’s first food

My 4 month old has never had anything except milk. We were planning to start her on solids from 6 months and start with veggies. Today my MIL took the baby for the day and my partner has now told me she gave the baby oranges and cherries to chew on without consulting with us first. She knew that we’ve never given the baby food. He did express that this was wrong to his mum and my MIL is lovely but a part of me feels weird about this lol I know it's not a big deal but hmm. Also can’t believe I missed my daughters first time tasting food 🥲

SAHM trying to work for some independance.

I am trying to avoid daycare fees, I have found a hospitality job that is between 2 and 4 evenings a week.

I feel bad leaving my husband who works Monday to Friday 8-5, to take over the 10 month old care when he gets home tired and now I will be gone most evenibg weekends.

I worry he will end up drinking too much or not get enough rest himself.
He is a good Dad and Husband and helps out with dinners anyway and the pots.
I do the laundry and general cleaning, bins, floors etc.

We just get by financially, but I am really bored during the days and really want something to look forward to, and to spend my own money if I want my haor done, some clothes or make up whatever.

I don't want to always have to ask can I buy something or explain what I have bought.

Is anyone else in this situation.
I'm having Wife guilt.
Weekends have always been family time. We would see each other a lot less.