Sex vent
I’d say me and my partner have sex maybe once a week. But it’s almost always a quickie and I rarely get off, and we only do it when he initiates it. He used to always work to get me off before but never does anymore..
Anytime I try to initiate it, try to kiss him and/or ask for it it’s always “I’m too tired” or “I have a cold”.. we used to have sex all of the time, until I got pregnant then it became rare because it put him off and freaked him out. I have a 4 yo and our son is 7 months old. I feel like we don’t have it as much as I’d like to, which has been brought up plenty of times but there’s been no action. We only have sex on a quick early morning/late night or if we’ve had an argument. It’s really starting to bum me out and feel unwanted and unattractive… I’ve gained a bit of weight since pregnancy that I’m trying to lose and affects my confidence in the bedroom and being naked.
I just don’t know what to do, I wouldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to but I suppose I just needed to vent. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas? Or is anyone else in the same boat? How could you overcome it?
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I definitely think more conversations with him would help. The conversations would probably need to go beyond the frequency of it and more towards how you’re actually feeling about it. Kids can definitely change the dynamic of relationships but it doesn’t have to always be that way and it doesn’t always need to be negative. Communication in the bedroom is key as well as communication regarding intimacy (beyond sex).
If you bring these things to his attention and you’re letting him know that it’s making you feel unattractive and unwanted AND he continues to be dismissive…that’s another story. Hopefully that’s not the case here and he just needs to be informed of how it affects you so he can do something different
I can’t really offer much advice but please don’t allow his childishness to affect how you feel within yourself. You have done a beautiful amazing thing bringing two wonderful children into the world and your body did that! I would say start off by buying yourself some comfortable but cute underwear that alone for me boosted my confidence a lot. And if you can try and find time to do things for you to make you feel good! Masturbation can also be healthy for you and can help work up your drive and stimulation. Maybe put off having sex with him until he can understand that you BOTH have needs that need to be met sexually, not just him.
Well kind of an update I suppose. I tried initiating earlier and he said he was soo tired. So I pumped them I got into bed, he woke up and started touching and kissing me so I thought I’d give him 🧠 to get us into the mood and he just finished and went straight back to sleep. Didn’t even try with me at all. Now I feel even worse like I shouldn’t have even bothered
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