FTM - productivity

FTMs, however are we getting things done around the house? Especially with a Velcro bub, who will only take contact naps (not complaining, I love it, in fact), and having to pump on top of taking care of everything else:[
I have always been a planner, with multiple lists and whatnot - so kind of losing it now with the lack of routine 😅

in our community

Feeling like a really shit mum today

I’ve just spent the last hour crying my eyes out I feel like such a shit mum.

My 2 year hasn’t slept properly for 5.5 weeks due to a sleep regression, and there’s no signs it’s getting better, so we haven’t slept either. And since last night she’s had a fever and a stomach bug or something so she couldn’t go to nursery today.

That meant I had to work from home whilst looking after her all day with no support (no annual leave at work left, can’t afford unpaid leave, no family nearby to help, husband works in a call centre so he can’t help).

I think she was getting bored of me working, because all day she’s been horrible to me.

Throwing things at me, hitting me in the head hard with hard items to the point I have a lump and a headache, shouting at me, jumping over me when I’ve been on calls, refusing to have her temperature taken by hitting me and screaming in my face, and by the end of working and her still throwing things at me I shouted at her and told her off. She then went off crying because she doesn’t like being told off, and I felt like the worst mum in the world.

And I’ve been crying ever since.

I hate the fact I had to work today instead of give her my whole attention. I know people will come at me and tell me I had a choice but I didn’t. We can’t afford for me to take unpaid leave as my money covers most of our bills and food on our table.

I’ve just felt so stressed out and burned out today from a mix of everything I just feel like such a shit mum.

I don’t think I have a point to the post, I just needed to get it out and vent because I have no friends and nobody to talk to other than my husband and he doesn’t get these feelings because she’s good as gold when she’s with him.

Does this age ever get better because I don’t know how much longer I can cope with not sleeping and the tantrums?

Nursery Funding

Hello!
Our little one was born in January 2026 & I have secured a place for him starting March 2027 which is 2 weeks after I start back at work. I know that I'll be eligible to claim 22 hours a week free, but I'm confused about when to apply for the funding.

The nursery said to do it before Dec 31st. Do I just do it when he turns 9 months? I'm assuming that that would mean that he would get the funding for term starting in the new year even though he'll only be doing his practice days & then starting March & then I'll have to apply again for that next term.

Is this right? I've just heard of so many people getting caught out by when to apply & ending up with big nursery bills for the first couple of months because they applied late

Babysitters

What is the going rate for babysitters these days? I have no idea. I have to work on a minor upcoming holiday. My child’s preschool is closed. I was thinking like $150 for the whole 8 hour day. Is that too much or too little?

I’m getting ready for divorce

Today was our sons first day of 1st grade, my husband drank 2 pints of tequila last night and was a doing insane things all night which kept me up all night checking on him and making sure he was okay every time I heard loud noises and screaming from him. I got 2 hours of sleep and had to get up and get my son ready for school and my 2 year old ready to take with us while my husband is still sleeping as I type this!!! He didn’t even wake up to tell our son good luck on his first day and he didn’t seem to care to go with us to the school to send him off. I’m beyond pissed I planned on leaving soon but I’m a sahm I have literally NOTHING in my name! I don’t have a bank account, I don’t have a car, I don’t even own a bed. He bought everything and it’s all in his name or his mom’s name. I need out but I have no idea how I’m going to take care of my kids without having anything at all…

If you saw a child with a safety vest on and something was written on it, would you look to see what?

My kids are starting School and they have only ever been in a locked down facility before but this school is not. If they elope and are seen by someone else I want to have something that indicates the need for help. They are going to have a tracking device on them but that isn't immediate enough help. I'm also getting them a medical alert with my number on it but the issue is an adult might not be immediately alerted by seeing a kid alone. I have access to a cricut so I could make them a custom vest 🦺 that's very bright and has something written on it. Not sure what to write yet. Feel free to give ideas.

Partner is struggling

Baby is 13 days old, we are so on love with him and also have a little girl who's 4 in two weeks. My partner is an amazing dad, he's really struggling though with the balance of toddler and new baby and is finding the noise in particular from them both extremely overwhelming and overstimulating to the point where he has almost had some tears and lots of stress/getting snappy when it's loud.

He also told the health visitor when she visited today that he is struggling and finding it hard to bond with baby despite me thinking he's doing really well with both of them. He's been great these past two weeks he's taken out daughter on days out and had baby so i can rest and apart from feeding him (i breastfeed) is doing his best to cuddle and spend time with both of them equally.

How can i help him? The last two days we haven't got out of the house and he's really tense and stressed like he wants to run out the door but i'm still recovering and not exactly finding it easy myself so there's not much more of the load I can take on myself without burning out, especially as in 7 days he goes back to work and i'll have the two of them pretty much solo going forward. I want to be sympathetic to the fact that he's struggling but I'm doing all the nights with baby and alot of the day to day stuff still like washing and tidying etc so him struggling is a tad suprising as his main job whilst he's been on paternity is to entertain our toddler and I didn't expect him to be struggling this much considering it's ehat i've done as a stay at home mum for the last few years as well as all the housework🫠 I'm finding it hard he needs a break already when i've gone years without a day off from parenting but at the same time I'm trying to be understanding as he's not used to it and having two has been a new challenge for us both