SAHM discussion with husband

Ladies- looking for advice and perspective. My husband and I have been discussing my not returning to work since before I got pregnant. He’s always known it’s what I want but also has been stressed over finances/whether or not we can afford it/the fact that I hold the really great insurance through my current job. I’m currently 3 months PP and due to return to work in November. Today we had a heavy conversation about his fear of resentment towards me of I’m SAHM. He spoke about jealousy of all the time I get to spend with our baby, fear of me not being able to adequately handle the household responsibilities, and fear of me losing part of my identity. This has me panicked. Is he going to fall out of love with me? I’m sick to my stomach thinking about putting my baby in daycare but also hate this anxiety about possibly causing issues in my marriage… any words of wisdom?

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His fears and stresses are very normal, similar to my husband. It's good he decided to talk to you about it. I say he'll him separate and work through those things one by one so that you can prioritize what you think is best for the baby. If you think it's too soon for daycare, listen to yourself. Do whatever you can to find a way to make it work.

You will find a routine that works for you if you do decide to be a sahm in regards of household responsibilities and being with your baby. If you both are stressed about finances then maybe it’s not the right thing to leave your job until you both feel comfortable he can provide alone. I have been a sahm for a few years now and I love it! yes it might get hard at times but nothing beats you getting to stay with your babies because they grow up so fast. I also believe a spouse should not feel jealous of you staying with the baby or any resentment, he should be happy baby is with you and not at daycare, in my opinion if he truly wants you to stay he would be fine with it regardless of anything else.

The stress of being the sole provider in a expensive world is understandable. It's called a budget and saying no to certain luxuries. His reasons sound like excuses to me so he doesn't have to actually tell you no. Typically the mother spends more time with the children than the father even if you both are working. Sorry not sorry I no longer work but my husband still helps out around the house with chores. You began evolving into a new you when you got pregnant, you are a new version of yourself every season. With my 1st I went back to work part time at 4wks PP, took my baby with me most days. By the time my daughter was 1, I was 4 wks away from being laid off because the company went bankrupt. We struggled, my husband was laid off 3mos later, we struggled even more. Defaulted on a big loan. Fast forward, I'm 3mos PP with our 2nd daughter and life is good but hard in different ways. Life is hard no matter what path you go down. Choose your hard mama, you got this.

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Fines for holidays

I don't understand. Why are parents not collectively kicking off about this ? Striking ? Refusing?

Maybe controversially, but I'm a teacher myself.

Yes, it is super annoying when a child takes off 2 weeks for hol. But, will they make some awesome memories and have precious family downtime? Very likely.

All the fines do (which were introduced by government) is drive a wedge between usually families that are on board with school policies.

It increases lies. Why tell school your child will be off for 2 days and just say they're unwell?

Then, I see absurd comments like 'well techers strike' or 'well teachers have INSET days'. What? We can't train and teach a class simultaneously. A lot of the strikes have for 10+ years not only been about pay freezes but also cuts to funding!! Which some parents are only realising now! Like the fines are even our choice 🤣🤣. 99% of teachers have nothing to do with attendance - we just say if someone is in or not. Even headteachers, who previously had more power, can't really say much over authorised or unauthorised now.

Yes, there are families and safeguarding issues that these fining policies are meant to prevent/protect but it doesn't always do that!!!!

It feelslike the easiest thing to do is bash teachers on social media rather than doing anything about it 🤷‍♀️

Also, don't forget some of us are parents and teachers and these issues do also affect us and our familes!!

Marriage and partnerships

Hi,
So my husband and I been together 6 years, 3 years as parents.
I’m at this point in my marriage that I’m just so tired of repeating the same thing about the same issue which is that he doesn’t contribute to household anything.
At first I was trying to be understanding of his work load but so many times I’ve voiced my frustration about mental load of having 2 kids under 2 that I’m so overwhelmed with house work, I also work part time as well as being a wife.
I feel like I’m parenting 3 kids..
he says just tell me what needs to be done but we all live in the same space I shouldn’t have to tell him every little things that needs to be done. But when I do ask for help, he says okay but it never gets done.
I feel like I can’t rely on him for anything and I feel resentment when he just lays down and goes on his phone as him “spending time with the kids”
Even sex is so one sided. No foreplay just straight in and done because he’s “ tired”
At this point I feel like it’s easier to just be single parent but I worry that kids needs their dad. We haven’t spoken in a week because I’m out of words and he’s not the type to talk first and waits for me to smooth things over every time.
I just want some advice of women in same situation or have experienced the same thing.

Just wanted to add this is my 2nd marriage but first marriage thankfully no kids were involved.

Go or not?

So me and my husband got into a big argument on Wednesday. He chose to sleep in a separate room and not talk to me for 2 days. Today I approached him to make it good and he went off again yelling. Yes I was wrong and I took accountability for my actions and apologized, but he haven't and won't. Anyway. On Saturday we have a 7 day cruise. Me, him, baby, and him mom. We are all staying in 1 room. It's all paid for and excursions paid also. Now, if this is how it is now, do I go? He doesn't speak to me, like how do I go and enjoy this? Like if don't go I would cost him 3,500$ since the baby will not be going either. Like I'm so torn. I don't want to make this worse, but at the same time I don't know if he's willing to make it good. Help! What should I do

Am I the Ahole?

Husband was in the bathroom and his phone was vibrating, went to check it and something said go through his texts & lo and behold this man is cheating on me! I look the #s on cash app and they all ugly! So now I feel unwanted and am I ugly to him? I know I fell off but I’m stuck in a house with 6 children, just had a baby last October and now I’m 9 weeks pregnant now. He says it’s nothing but these texts says otherwise! You supposed to be fixing cars and you out here servicing females in another way…no wonder he never have money!

Good news nursery stories!

Hello! My LO is starting nursery in two weeks. I’ll be honest, I can’t talk about it without crying 😳.
I’d love to hear any good news nursery stories? Did your LOs eventually settle? Do they love it? Any tips?!
I’m hoping he’ll love everything being on his level and not constantly being told no all the time 🥲

Moral dilemma

If a family member's partner was going through a hard time and went to kiss you, you moved and they immediately apologised and seemed very remorseful, would you tell their wife? Their wife has commented that her life would end if they weren't together, he otherwise treats her really well and they have children together.