My life with a baby vs my husband’s life

I was thinking today about how different my life is now that I have a baby compared to my husbands life. My husband went to work today and I spent the entire day on my own looking after our 11 week old baby, he has been out this evening at a work dinner and drinks meaning I’ve also been on my own for whole evening. I will be the one getting up throughout the night tonight to do feeds and changes meanwhile he will just sleep through them all or if he does wake he will just roll over and go back to sleep then tomorrow he will go back to work and i’ll do it all again. Does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone else get very frustrated? I am so appreciative that he works full time so I can stay home and I know work comes with its own pressures but sometimes it feels so hard and tiring and draining. I feel like when he offers to look after her so I can do something simple like shower he almost feels like he’s doing such a good thing and being an amazing and supportive husband whereas to me it’s extremely basic and I feel like what I do and the extreme way my life has changed is not fully appreciated…

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I’m in the same boat here. I love my boyfriend don’t get me wrong but my god, the amount of times I have to tell him that being a mum is a full time job as well. He passed out as soon as I had our son and then went home for a nap when our son was a couple of hours old. I’d been up 2/3 days straight and then give birth and he had the audacity to firstly pass out and then go for a nap. He sleeps through all the night feeds (he tells me to wake him up and I do but he goes back to sleep), honestly I could go on forever here

I feel you and I was in the same boat at the time your in!

I promise you it gets better and easier, I had a serious conversation with my partner and told him I couldn’t continue after he moaned as I passed him the baby when he got home to have a shower (bare in mind heatwave and sticky baby all day attached to me). Be honest and open with him.

They don’t see it like we do and mothering is known to be the hardest job we will ever do but to them we still had an easier day than them! My partner now does the bedtime routine, bath, playtime and bottle. Then puts baby to bed mainly to give me a chance to breathe but also their bonding time.
I’m at 3 months in now and I can honestly say once you have a routine it’s a lot better. I get my time and he gets to bond.

You got this! ❤️

And this is why my partner gets up early with the kids every day so I can sleep in a couple of hours before he goes to work. He helps with the bedtime routine doing the bath and reading books. Then 9/10 he cleans up and does dishes etc once the kids are asleep so I can have some me time before I'm too exhausted.

We used to be in a similar situation to you until I copped and pointed out the things he could do. Like I bf so he can't do the night feeds but he can give me a couple hours peace in the morning

in our community

Go or not?

So me and my husband got into a big argument on Wednesday. He chose to sleep in a separate room and not talk to me for 2 days. Today I approached him to make it good and he went off again yelling. Yes I was wrong and I took accountability for my actions and apologized, but he haven't and won't. Anyway. On Saturday we have a 7 day cruise. Me, him, baby, and him mom. We are all staying in 1 room. It's all paid for and excursions paid also. Now, if this is how it is now, do I go? He doesn't speak to me, like how do I go and enjoy this? Like if don't go I would cost him 3,500$ since the baby will not be going either. Like I'm so torn. I don't want to make this worse, but at the same time I don't know if he's willing to make it good. Help! What should I do

Fines for holidays

I don't understand. Why are parents not collectively kicking off about this ? Striking ? Refusing?

Maybe controversially, but I'm a teacher myself.

Yes, it is super annoying when a child takes off 2 weeks for hol. But, will they make some awesome memories and have precious family downtime? Very likely.

All the fines do (which were introduced by government) is drive a wedge between usually families that are on board with school policies.

It increases lies. Why tell school your child will be off for 2 days and just say they're unwell?

Then, I see absurd comments like 'well techers strike' or 'well teachers have INSET days'. What? We can't train and teach a class simultaneously. A lot of the strikes have for 10+ years not only been about pay freezes but also cuts to funding!! Which some parents are only realising now! Like the fines are even our choice 🤣🤣. 99% of teachers have nothing to do with attendance - we just say if someone is in or not. Even headteachers, who previously had more power, can't really say much over authorised or unauthorised now.

Yes, there are families and safeguarding issues that these fining policies are meant to prevent/protect but it doesn't always do that!!!!

It feelslike the easiest thing to do is bash teachers on social media rather than doing anything about it 🤷‍♀️

Also, don't forget some of us are parents and teachers and these issues do also affect us and our familes!!

Really struggling

I have no one I can talk to about this so just gonna post here. I’m really struggling atm mainly financially as in I have £0 and I’m running low on food in the house and I can’t find any help and I’ve asked my family but they’re all too busy eating out and telling me they’re skint to help me. I don’t expect help but it just hurts to see it. I just feel awful for my kids because they don’t know how bad things are and my local food bank is shut atm and there’s nothing I can do. Just want to cry. I’m just making sure the kids eat and I don’t care about myself at this point.

Moral dilemma

If a family member's partner was going through a hard time and went to kiss you, you moved and they immediately apologised and seemed very remorseful, would you tell their wife? Their wife has commented that her life would end if they weren't together, he otherwise treats her really well and they have children together.

Am I the Ahole?

Husband was in the bathroom and his phone was vibrating, went to check it and something said go through his texts & lo and behold this man is cheating on me! I look the #s on cash app and they all ugly! So now I feel unwanted and am I ugly to him? I know I fell off but I’m stuck in a house with 6 children, just had a baby last October and now I’m 9 weeks pregnant now. He says it’s nothing but these texts says otherwise! You supposed to be fixing cars and you out here servicing females in another way…no wonder he never have money!

How do I handle this?

Husband and I are supposed to be staying overnight with friends 2hrs away tomorrow. My mom will have our toddler.

We got into an argument the night before last. He’s been at work (works 24h shifts) so we haven’t had time to talk everything out. I was VERY upset and even told my mom I just want to take my daughter and leave. Things don’t feel resolved. Should we still try to salvage it and go?