Parenting help with an almost 4 year old

Honestly keeping them active and socialized helps in my opinion. Works their body and brain. What about a 2 hour preschool at the park district? They also behave better there usually haha.

Maybe something to try. Swim lessons or some type of class if he’s not in one already.

Id say just calmly hold the boundary and don’t budge. If you have to take away a toy, take it away and don’t give in. If you have to remove him from an environment or even leave due to a meltdown or hitting, etc. then leave. I would stay calm and don’t try to reason with him during the meltdown, most of the time it just escalates it in the moment. Wait until he has calmed down to discuss what happened and name feelings. It will be inconvenient, but he will slowly catch on to how the rules work. I like the idea of keeping them active and socialized too, I’ve noticed my daughter is less of a “pill” when she’s kept busy. It’s the weeks we stay home or enjoy too much screen time that I start to have issues. I have an almost 3 year old that’s realllllyy started the meltdowns, negotiations, talking back as of late so we’ve been trying to stay ahead. I’m no expert but this is my advice, here’s to hoping will both make it out of this phase in one piece! 🫶🏻

I agree maybe some positive attention and where is he learning to hit to solve his problems from?

From what you've described I think your consequences are on point, but it's possible, depending on how you usually respond, that he might be doing what he does for the response. Kids tend to latch on to interesting responses, positive or negative. When he does throw a tantrum or hit you, and you seem upset or even a little angry, that's an interesting response and worth investigating further. You really have to stonewall them when it comes to bad behaviour - flat expression, no reaction, just consequences.

Also, he is allowed to feel angry if you say no to a Popsicle. He's not allowed to hit or tantrum, but helping him express his anger may help him feel validated.

There is a helpful way to tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown: a tantrum is a negotiation, a meltdown is a fire alarm. If he stops the behaviour as soon as he gets what he wants, that's a tantrum. If he continues crying even after he gets what he wants, that's a meltdown. One you hold the line, the other requires validation.