Can you help me understand a cultural difference?

As a Mexican tóxica, it’s my baby shower. And if I want something done it’s gonna happen now , na but for them to say you can basically bring your own food. It’s kind of weird. It’s your baby shower. You should be able to pick your menu., a lot of older generation of Mexicans too if you don’t speak up, then they’re just going to think they can call the shots, but I really think you should speak up and say what you want . much love 💕

As a whitexican married to a Mexican, girl that’s straight up machismo. It’s 2026, enough with that. Definitely speak up, it is your baby shower doesn’t matter if they planned it. And if your man doesn’t speak up for you, please have a conversation with him .

Your man needs to speak up period! Last time you checked that's his family! He needs to handle it and check the situation. Straight up machismo

Hiii ima Mexican and married into a white family and honestly yes it’s very common for the “Man of the family” like your FIL to have almost “the final word” or “my word is law” type of mentality. My Dad for example SUPER machista meaning he is used to having the final say not being questioned, I would “fall in line” growing up but as I became an adult i realized this was unhealthy and I challenged him a lot which caused a lot of arguments. Especially when I married my husband because I wouldn’t let my Dad bulldoze my husband and even more when I had kids ; my Dad had to learn that my husband and my self are a separate family and his “final word” doesn’t extend to our little family. It’s definitely hard because I’m sure ur in-laws didn’t change the food to be rude to you they’re just so used to “following orders “ I would talk to you husband and let him know where your boundaries are as far as your FIL behavior and have him stick up for you and resolve issues with FIL😅

So, this isnt just about him being a man. In most Latin cultures men do not even attend the baby shower as it has always been for the mom and baby and the women to get together. But.... if everyone's going then usually the man that's paying would have last say. Which tells me the family lacks consideration. Because how is the one who the party is for being told she can go get pizza and bring it...to her own party? If someone did that to their daughter they'd feel some type of way.

The baby shower is being thrown for YOU AND BABY. The food there should be food that you can eat. Your partner needs to step in and tell his father that if he wants ceviche that he can pick some up for himself but that birria will be what's on the menu because that's what is something safe you can eat and something that you have been able to stomach. Your husband may be used to this but he, as a man of his family, should then step up to his father because his father's say should not be applied to you and yours.

Nah. I’m married to a Mexican and his family are immigrants from Mexico, very Mexican…them handling it all is normal and it’s great to graciously accept but it’s NOT normal for them to pick the food. Your husband needs to communicate to them what will be happening and not put it on you. He has the ability to change the situation, trust me. And it’s best that he handles it.

Whether if it’s normal or not, let them know you don’t agree with it and you won’t show up because this is supposed to be for you and your baby. I’m from Colombia by the way.

Also, they can have ceviche as a side dish not the main one. Ask your husband to find out if this is a joke or not. Now that I think about it, I wonder if they want to keep it as a surprise and that’s why they said it in that way.

I don’t believe it’s a cultural thing . My in-laws have always respected requests even if they’re the ones making the food . I think you should express yourself
Tho , because if you don’t they’ll think it’s okay to ignore you