Husband issues
My husband has not been who I thought he would be. Hes disagreed with everything i have done with our 3 year old including contact napping when she was just a baby, he'd go off at me about that. Now shes 3 and hwe have a 3 year old and another on the way. Im 20 weeks pregnant and have been sick with influenza A. He works 3 12 hour shifts and I work 2 8s. I have been transitioning our daughter into her own bed the past month. Ive been in with her but said in a couple weeks id be back in with him. I had last Friday off work I was so sick. The Saturday he slept in until 9 as he always does (i never get a sleepin) then 2 hours later after sitting there watching me clean the entire house,asked if he could go help his friend get firewood. I let him but then he didn't get home until quarter to 7 that night knowing Im not well plus pregnant and maybe could use a break.... he got home, our daughter went to bed at 730 then he went back over to the same friend's until 2am drinking. Next day he went off at me about how im just a housemate not a wife (because im transitioning our daughter at the moment) and how i expect him to do everything.... I dont know what to do. I do 90% of housework....yea he pays most bills but I also do 90% of raising our daughter. I feel my best isnt enough. Is he just trying to cause issues? Does he sound depressed? Or does he sound guilty? All he does is blame me for everything lately and criticise me so I have withdrawn from him.
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Sounds to me like your husband is a child,
0 excuses.
My husband's in his mid-40s - he's literally had a hard job his whole life since he's 15. He currently works for 12 hours in a row. And usually hands up working an extra night for the overtime. He still gets up with my children, he's still a present father. He still cleans, changes the cat boxes. Takes my kids to the park, and gives me a break. He doesn't help too much with cooking because it's not his thing. However he'll do the dishes, he'll do the food shopping if I ask him to. When a man wants to be a good husband he will be. What I mean I want to be a great father he will be.
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This sounds really tough on you! Would he listen if maybe you both went out somewhere to talk? You need to tell him calmly how you feel and he needs to show you support. Other wise you will reach breaking point.
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am i overreacting for being a bit upset.. so weeks ago we all made plans as a friend group
[ these are my husband friends] we have a friend in town so we were gonna all go to this restaurant called the garage.. sure I don't want them to cancel but after discovering this is a bar 24/7 no babies allowed.. well it triggered slight depression because i was looking forward to this and unfortunately don't have anyone to watch my daughter on a week day since in laws work. The next day.. and now i just feel left out because my husband still agreed to go and now im just gonna be left at home. And i need to find something to do while he's gone so I'm not depressed.. just was hoping he could at least ask about a weekend gathering but our friend leaves Saturday. I just thought this man would think of his wife first instead of being like well I'm still going attitude then goes we can do something with everyone after.. my thoughts were like how everyone gonna be slightly drunk.. and full from food..
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Snack help!!
I have two sweet potatoes and two avocados about to go off - my son loves to snack any ideas how I can use them to make into something for him???
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If you had…
One day a week where you could put your two children in nursery for free or have them at home with you, what would you choose? You are off work, you work the other 4 days and they are in nursery all that time. Children are nursery age so let’s say 4 and 1.
I have Wednesdays off work but have the children in nursery full time as money isn’t an issue. I’m not sure whether I should feel guilty about this.
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Husband issues
My husband has not been who I thought he would be. Hes disagreed with everything i have done with our 3 year old including contact napping when she was just a baby, he'd go off at me about that. Now shes 3 and hwe have a 3 year old and another on the way. Im 20 weeks pregnant and have been sick with influenza A. He works 3 12 hour shifts and I work 2 8s. I have been transitioning our daughter into her own bed the past month. Ive been in with her but said in a couple weeks id be back in with him. I had last Friday off work I was so sick. The Saturday he slept in until 9 as he always does (i never get a sleepin) then 2 hours later after sitting there watching me clean the entire house,asked if he could go help his friend get firewood. I let him but then he didn't get home until quarter to 7 that night knowing Im not well plus pregnant and maybe could use a break.... he got home, our daughter went to bed at 730 then he went back over to the same friend's until 2am drinking. Next day he went off at me about how im just a housemate not a wife (because im transitioning our daughter at the moment) and how i expect him to do everything.... I dont know what to do. I do 90% of housework....yea he pays most bills but I also do 90% of raising our daughter. I feel my best isnt enough. Is he just trying to cause issues? Does he sound depressed? Or does he sound guilty? All he does is blame me for everything lately and criticise me so I have withdrawn from him.
3
Nursery/School pressure
The lord has definitely put it on my heart to home educate my children, my partner (their dad) likes the idea but is skeptical but his mum hates the idea and wants our kids to go to school
We have a 3 year old and a 21 month old
Neither have been to nursery but we go to lots of playgroups, they have swimming lessons, our girl does dance and our son does football I also make sure they spend lots of time free playing
I have started “home educating” them ofc it is just basics and preschool things, when I look at what preschool children should know by the end of preschool my daughter is doing almost everything even though her preschool year would be from September (she turned 3 in May) my partner thinks she should be doing more but I know his expectations are unrealistic
My parents would also like them to go to school but are happy to support us whatever we decide and it’s just their opinion and ig bias without having looked into home educating
My mil has even talked to my mum about it saying that she won’t let us (me, my partner and our kids) in her house if we don’t send them to school and she’ll come to my church and start telling ppl that I’m depriving my kids or something (ik very weird) which I know neither she will do but it’s sad that she would say those things and I know she’s probably said worse to my partner
The only reason they can give me for sending them to school is to socialise (which I know isn’t a reason) and the stance of you (me and my partner) came out okay why should they be any different (which makes me cringe as my partner dropped out of uni and is self employed) I personally have no career goals but I am happy being a stay at home mum although I have a few side hustles/businesses that I’ve started (ofc we know that the school system doesn’t really encourage free thinkers and entrepreneurs) I can’t really attribute our successes to school
Now the situation is my partner wants to enrol our daughter (3) in a nursery close by to us (he says just to try it out but I know only because he’s mum is pressuring him as he had no intentions of doing this prior to her talking about school) but we know they involve the kids in things like yoga which I wouldn’t want her doing but also pagan celebrations like Halloween, I know we can probably ask for her to be excluded from these things but I also wouldn’t want to isolate her my partner doesn’t feel as strongly about this (doesn’t care about isolating her)
I would love to find a Christian Montessori nursery for her to do maybe 3 hours a week or something but nothing like that in our area
None of the Christian nursery’s in our area have an outstanding ofsted rating either and I know I’m being picky but I feel as though we have to when it comes to where we are leaving our kids and their education, I’m kind of stuck on where to go or look as I don’t want to settle and send her somewhere I’m not happy with
Do I just continue to try and de-suade my partner into going down the nursery/school route?
Can he apply for her nursery place without my consent or signature?
I try and ask him what he wants to get out of sending her to nursery but he literally says “I just want to” and “just to try it out” which aren’t good enough reasons for me as I know I am providing a more than adequate learning environment for her & her brother with plenty of opportunities to socialise
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Feeding
I started off weaning by just doing lunch. I’m going to introduce breakfast now, do you do breakfast before milk? I’m going to do 2x food a day to start before doing 3x meals a day. Would you say it’s best to do breakfast and tea? Rather than breakfast and dinner? Thank you 💛
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