Does it irritate anyone else when working mums pull the "you're so lucky" or "must be nice" card?

I know this is petty but I have this one friend that is forever going on about how lucky I am, how nice it must be, and making envious comments about me staying home. I get it, I am lucky in some respects, but I also made a lot of sacrifices, and my job is hard too. I made the choice I did because I genuinely believed it was the best thing for me and my baby, but my god is it difficult, and I can't help but feel like she's minimising that. I've worked hard to get to the point where I could stay home, and it's not like I'm going to brunch and doing pilates over here either. Maybe I'm just being bitchy, but it does rub me the wrong way.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Just tell her. When people say this to me I say something to the effect of “I feel very lucky I get to stay home with my kids. But it can be very hard in a way people don’t understand unless you have done it. Sometimes I really wish I could go to work. The grass is always greener on the other side”

I was thinking this just the other day!! All my mum friends work so their babies are in daycare during the week, so this means they can randomly take a day off with their partners and have a baby free date day or time to reconnect whenever they want. My baby isn’t in daycare and we don’t have any family close by, so I’ve got no chance of that! How lucky 🫠

As someone who use to work 2 jobs, attend school full time, and serve in the national guard all at the same time. Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest things ive ever done, so I get where youre coming from. Its a different kind of hard for sure, but it certainly isnt easy. I love my little girl with my whole heart, but its lonely and terrifying and monotonous. It also requires a lot of learning and sleep deprivation. When being a mom is all you get to do its wonderful until its not.

Almost everyone has choices so I don’t know how “luck” comes into play. So yes I do get irritated cuz no I’m not lucky that I “get” to stay home! I made a choice to be a stay at home mom just like a working mom made their choice as well. Every choice has a level of sacrifice bt just because an individual made a certain choice that works for them & their family doesn’t mean they are lucky. I honestly wouldn’t be friends with ppl who compare their life or journey to mine or everyone else’s or ppl who make up assumptions & misconceptions.
Those aren’t safe ppl or friendships

in our community

I hate my life!!!!

I hate my life!!!

I love my daughter and I do love my partner but my god he is so fucking lazy.
I know he works hard for us but why does everything have to fall on me to do as im a stay at home mum

I dont get breaks, my family isnt close by but my partners family live 10 mins away and they barely help and dont take any notice of our daughter

Im pregnant with our second and i dont know if im happy about it or really even want the baby even though we was trying for the baby.

My partner doesnt know how to cook, never cleans or knows how to do washing, his mum did everything for him, she said its cause she loves her kids but that doesnt help them in the future, he cant even pick up after himself, his bedside table is full of cans and stay for months until I get fed up and clean them cause he never does it cause hes never had to. I thought living together after 2 years he'd learn to change but he is still the same and im exhausted

im left to do everything even with our daughter she is 15 months old and he has given her a bath about 10 times and has moaned everytime ive asked him to do it

I just dont know how I'm going to cope with the second baby, I dont really have any friends and I dont leave the house often as we live in a little village with rubbish transport and i dont drive so nothing is close by.

Ive jusy had an argument with my partner and saod I was going to bed early and left him with our daughter and within 10 mins hes brought her up to our bed as she isnt sleeping in her room and sleeps in our bed

I don't even get 10 minutes to myself 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

AITA?

We're on a family holiday and my toddler woke up early as always so I got up to play with him. My husband slept in then when I was wanting to get breakfast sorted he was watching TikTok videos.

I made a comment about how we should maybe have a basket for phones as we're on holiday and he said that I was being controlling when holidays are for relaxing.

Tv

When did you introduce your little one to cartoons? I don’t want an iPad kid but to see what they like. My baby likes Mickey Mouse and the Mickey Mouse clubhouse

Rant

I really dislike talking to my husband about appointments my son has. My son goes to therapy twice a week minus the other specialty dr appointments any ways every time I talk to my husband about it’s like I’m talking to a child we only have 1 car he works morning Tuesday- Sunday and Thursday- Sunday at night I also don’t have my drivers license anyways I’ve been told him I could take the medical cabs when my son has appointments and bring my youngest with us but he told me not to do that and every time we have to miss appointments I always make sure to ask him if I need to reschedule any appointments but he acts like a child he’s always like when the day comes we will worry about that I’m the day is never promised and my thing is people got set schedules other people don’t run off our times if stuff happens and that shit pisses me off so bad

Tired and alone

My husband and I have a 6 month old and both work full time on opposite schedules. We dont get a lot of time together, so I thought that when he came home early, we would hang out, I would get a little break before having to watch the baby the rest of the night so he can do work stuff. So why does he spend the majority of the time we have very little of, to lay in bed and look at his phone. Over an hour. That could have been spent with his wife and child. I just dont want to have to ask to be seen. I want him to want to spend his time with us, not because I ask him to. If he doesn't think of us, are we really that important to him in the first place? If I have to ask him to hang out with me, what's the point of him even being here for the extra couple hours that we got? I dont know. Am i reading too much into this?

Help

I need some advice what to do. My youngest just laughs at me when I tell her no 🤦🏽‍♀️ she is only 1.5 but I don’t remember it being this bad with my eldest. She’s constantly climbing on the radiator onto the window cill. She even fell off and hurt herself 2 minutes later she’s back again. I feel like the more o say no the more she sees it as a challenge. I’m about to get rid of m dining table and she climbs on that a hundred times a day I’ve tried removing the chairs but she carries toys to use. Usually I catch her and stop her but if I’m changing her sister’s nappy or going for a wee she sees that as her perfect opportunity 🤦🏽‍♀️.

I did raise my voice and said no and she started laughing her sister started crying saying sorry mummy 😅 so then I felt instant guilt. I just have no idea how to get her to listen or do I just have to wait and hope she grows out if it 😣