Want to go back to work 😬

I know I might be in the minority here but I’m so desperate to go back to work. Circumstances have made it that I’ve been a SAHM for the past two years and before that I was only really in work for a couple of months between two periods of maternity leave. I adore my kids but I never planned to be a SAHM and I really feel like I’m loosing it. My patience is not what it should be and I can feel myself getting snappier by the day. It’s so hard working out how to get back into work though. I have my June girl and one that’s starting reception next week and one that’s in preschool. The school have already said they are at capacity for breakfast and afterschool club and my son only does half days at preschool and there’s a waiting list currently so I doubt I could get him in full time. My husband can’t commit to any drop offs or pick ups because he’s in the army and does Guard so has no routine and I can’t do weekend or evening work because obviously he’s not always here. We don’t live close to either side of family so I don’t have a village. How do people do it!? I feel so trapped and I feel like a piece of shit that being a SAHM isn’t fulfilling me but I just don’t think I’m cut out for it. I hate that I feel like this because I love them more than anything in the whole world but I just can’t do it anymore! I know I’ve been lucky and privileged to spend this much time with them but it’s also suffocating especially when money is so tight so it’s not even like I can get them out constantly (and yes we go out everyday to the parks or library or just to mooch about). I’m just so missing being a person that has stuff going on outside this house. Sorry this has probably become more of a rant than anything else!

in our community

Life change after baby?

Hey I’m around 38 weeks now but i just can’t keep thinking about how life is going to change. I keep getting told that your life is over, you and your partner won’t get time for eachother etc, it won’t be the same anymore. I’m excited to start a new family but nervous at same time. I’m really going to miss us as selfish as that sounds. Any views on this?

I feel miserable

I know people only show the good on social media but I’m so fed up of the mum’s who film DITL’s on mat leave etc where they’re often going out for coffee, lunches, shopping, beauty appointments etc. where are they getting the money from to do this? My 1st mat leave felt miserable as some months I was only being paid £400 which didn’t cover the bills and didn’t leave much to enjoy. I really struggled initially until I found a way to make the best of it. My baby was born 2 months early so I ended up in a really complicated situation with my leave. I’ve gone back to work part time and earning absolutely nothing. Now due our second next year and already dreading mat leave as I know it’ll be so different to my 1st and on minimum pay with another child to fund. My husband has an average job on a reasonable salary like most of us do. I’ve had to stop getting my nails done each month, I never buy myself anything like new clothes etc, I’ve completely lost myself and I hate it. I’m looking into letting go of my car to release some extra money and alleviate pressure. Am I doing something wrong that all these TT mums aren’t?!

Tonie box

What age did you buy one? What do you use it mostly for? Are you pleased you bought one?

Opinions?

So a bit of backing story, my husband and I met when I already had my 4 year old from a previous relationship. We fell madly in love, was having very frequent and very freaky sex. Was also sexting daily and we had a lot of energy on that department. I also had a job and a lot of independence.

Fast forward 6 months I fall pregnant with our first, the pregnancy was great and we still maintained our sexualness until near the end of that pregnancy, after I had our son I had some post partum depression and had put on quite a lot of weight that I couldn’t shift. This took a toll on me massively in how I was sexually, I didn’t want to sext at all and we would have sex a lot less often and the intensity of it was a lot less too (still at least 3 times a week) my husband constantly got on to me about this, moaning, telling me all the time he misses how I was and that unless i reassured him it would get back to exactly that, he wouldn’t be happy and constantly put pressure on me to be this massively sexual person again.

When my son was 12 months old we got pregnant with our 2nd and I’m currently still pregnant, 36 weeks.. this pregnancy has been really difficult physically and so sex hasn’t necessarily increased, but we still have sex probably 5 times a week, again it’s just not to the intensity and freakiness he would like, how it used to be. He constantly reminds me that if it doesn’t come back, he will not be happy. He constantly reminds me of how much he loves how I used to be and how he thinks he gets 10% of what he used to, I disagree. I even try now whilst pregnant to spice things up, I will put an outfit on for him on occasions, I give him oral often and I try my best to give him sex as much as I can comfortably but it’s not always possible with the issues I’m having during pregnancy.

I have told him that my sex drive will eventually come back and it will get better and freakier and stuff as the kids get older and I feel more and more like myself, but it’s like he almost wants a time frame and give me some sort of cut off date of when this should be happening. I just want to know if any ladies have been in the same position and just to hear others opinions on this to be honest as I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall with him most of the time and even when he says he understands, a week after he can be back to “I miss that sex life”, “I want that sex life back and I’m too young to not be having sex like that now” and “if we’re not back to that in 2 years I’m not going to be happy”.