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SEX ~ DRAMA ~ MARRIAGE & MORE

⚠️ TMI WARNING GIRLS — THIS IS A “WE’RE ALL WOMEN HERE” TYPE OF POST 😭😂🫣 ⚠️

Okay girls!! Please help me out because I am SO frustrated 😭😭

I’m so used to sex hurting during and afterward that I almost feel like I’ve just accepted it at this point, but it has gotten SO much worse. I get constant pain and aching, and TMI, but after sex I get INSANELY swollen down there. Like I can literally tell when I’m walking that everything is swollen. When I touch my “lips” they feel SO full, if that makes sense 😭 I’ve even gotten a mirror out because I’m desperate to actually see what’s going on, and it is red and seriously swollen afterward.

I’ve seen 4 different OBs and I feel like I’m getting nowhere. They’ve tested me for infections/STIs and all of that has been negative. I’ve basically tried everything they’ve suggested except birth control, which is a HUGE no for me.

It used to only happen every once in a while, but now it’s basically every single time we have sex. Even inserting can hurt. I’ve learned that if I’m on top, I can control things better and avoid as much pain during, but then afterward I’m still dealing with all the swelling and pain.

And I also get SEVERE UTI symptoms—burning, urgency, that constant feeling like I need to pee, pelvic pressure, etc.—but then I’ll get tested and I don’t actually have a UTI. 😭 It’s so frustrating because I KNOW what a UTI feels like, but the tests keep coming back negative. That’s also part of why my urologist has mentioned possibly looking into something like interstitial cystitis.

And honestly, it has really affected our sex life. 😭 My husband is actually SO sweet and supportive and will turn down sex a lot of the time because he knows what I’m going to have to deal with afterward. It’s not because either of us doesn’t want to—it’s because I’m tired of being in pain every single time.

Condoms hurt me too, so we don’t use them. I also don’t use lube because I’m SO sensitive and I’m scared I’ll react to something in it and make everything even worse.

I’m supposed to eventually have a cystoscopy, but because I’m pregnant right now, it sounds like I may have to wait until after I give birth next year. 😭 And honestly, waiting that long when I’m already dealing with this constantly feels impossible.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe advice, maybe someone who has experienced something similar, or maybe I just need to VENT because this is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. It’s so frustrating to constantly know something isn’t right but not have anyone actually be able to tell me WHY.

Has anyone experienced severe swelling/redness and pain after sex + UTI symptoms with negative urine tests and actually found an answer?? Or found anything that helped?? I’m seriously at a loss and will take ANY ideas at this point. 😭❤️