How is everyone managing with preschool?

Hi ladies! 💕

My daughter starts preschool this upcoming Monday, and I’m finally at the point where I’m able to start looking for work again. As someone who doesn’t have a village and lives in NYC, I’m curious how is everyone working while also managing school drop-off and pickup?

My daughter’s school schedule is 8:30 AM–2:30 PM, and I’m realizing there are literally NO jobs with hours that fit that schedule. 😩

I’ve looked into sitters through Care.com and other sites, but I’m finding that they want around $1,500/month just to pick her up from preschool and watch her for a few hours until my husband and I get off work. At that point, I’d basically be working just to pay for childcare. 🥴

So for the moms who are in a similar situation especially those without a village what are you guys doing? Are you finding specific types of jobs, using family, splitting pickup with your spouse, hiring someone, or doing something else?

I’d really appreciate any tips, advice, or ideas because I feel like I’m missing something! 😂

in our community

Extreme Boy Moms

This might be an unpopular opinion to post on the Boy Moms group. I think it’s inappropriate to rearrange one’s identity around being a boy mom.

For example, my MIL came to me when I was 24 hours postpartum. She said “you are so lucky to be a boy mom. Boys are so much closer to their mothers!” I understand the sentiment, but this should not be shared out loud. Especially when this woman has a daughter. However, she is completely enmeshed with my husband. She keeps on wearing my husband’s clothings from 10 yrs ago(college years) when she comes to visit. When my husband confronts her and ask her to stop wearing clothes he abandoned at the family home. She says “but it’s warm!” To me, when boy moms take it to the extreme like my MIL. I just want to call out the emotional incest bs I see. 🤮

Am I wrong to feel uneasy?

My son goes to nursery two days a week. Every child is assigned an adult/ member of staff. My son is two and a half and has had this lady for nearly a year, she tells him she loves him every time I pick him up and I overheard her getting him to say I love you to the moon and back to her.
Am I in the minority thinking this is a bit much?

Going off my partner

Myself and my partner have been together just over 6 years and we have 3 kids together but we have known each other for a lot longer. Just lately everything he says and does just annoys me! Like I can tell the kids off about something and then he could tell them the next day and I’m just instantly irritated. We have had a lot of different issues over the years but I really do feel like I’m massively going off him! Anyone been through the same? Anyone got any advice 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why offer to do something but make me feel guilty about it?

My period is due in a couple days, I'm so hangry and jjust want some salty crisps. I mentioned it in passing as I'm putting the kids to bed and my husband goes "do you want me to go shops?" So I say oh yeh please, and then he starts moaning as he's getting his shoes on like "you were out earlier why didn't you get them then? Should've just got something when you were out" etc etc. I'm like if you don't want to go out, then don't? I didn't ask, you offered.. No point in doing a nice thing but then making the person feel guilty about it. Like, I wouldn't mind going myself once I had put the kids down to bed. Honestly.. Yes I could've got something when I was out, but I had a million and one other things to remember to grab, whilst dealing with a baby and a toddler. Then I'm home, making dinner, doing the laundry, making sure bags are packed for tomorrow, doing bathtime and bedtime myself, like my mind is never thinking about what I want for myself... He could've offered to do bedtime and I would've happily went out myself. Or he could've just not offered at all if he couldn't be bothered. All I said was "I could go some crisps" literally..

Question about emotions

Soooi I need to know if I’m being hormonal because at this point I don’t even know if it’s me or the hormones talking 😂 long story short my husband works for a couple hours today. I’m 2 weeks PP. I asked my mom to come over to help while he was at work and she responded with “help with what? The babies ? “ “ I’ll let you know because run going goodwill shopping “ completely broke me . I understand people have their own life. I guess I’m just hurt. My husband is going to reschedule so I’m not alone.

Y’all I am STRESSING

I have two interviews this week, mind you I haven’t had a chance of an interview since I started applying a year ago! So Wednesday and Thursday are my interviews, Wednesday most likely won’t be able to happen, fine. But Thursday!! I really want and need to go to this one, it’s publix and I’ve never heard of them not hiring someone when giving an interview!! But we have no daycare or really reliable childcare set up, reason Wednesday probably isn’t doable. My husband’s dad is retired and right next door, my husband starts new work this coming week and his mom works too. I’m really hoping that his dad will take her for 30 mins so I can make the interview but he’s already mentioned that he doesn’t want to babysit for when I do get a job and I haven’t left her with him in a while. I feel like every time we go over there now, even if we’re with, he seems like he’s counting the minutes that we’re going home! And another thing is that I could possibly get a definite answer of a yes days before but then something comes up or he changes his mind just because he doesn’t feel like doing it that day.

I bring up my worries to my husband and all he says basically is “it’s only 30 minutes and if he won’t help us out in a time of need then why are we going to stick around so close to them?” Which I understand but that doesn’t help me get to my interview that day if he doesn’t want to watch her!!! He’s literally the only one who could watch her that day… I don’t know what to do and finding a reliable person to help out in such short time, that we trust. Is nearly impossible😭