How do you stay calm when they’re behaviour is bad?

I am struggling! A lot!

His behaviour these days is awful. Hitting people during his first week at school, yesterday was being boisterous towards others at this swimming lesson, couldn’t even take him to the coop without him kicking random things in there and us making a scene.

I’ve tried being firm (yesterday was practically me shouting all day) but it doesn’t achieve anything.

He’s just made sure that my 18 month old can’t get back to sleep so now I’ve got them both awake from 5am and all I want to do is go back to bed because I’m anticipating another horrible day.

I don’t know how to move forward like this. Has anyone managed to get the behaviour to improve? I’m at the point where I don’t want to be around him at all. I just want to have a good cry and go to sleep but I can’t because he won’t let me have any time to myself.

in our community

Nanny

Has anyone ever paid for a nanny to come to your house just to do the morning so you can get a bit of sleep?
My baby wakes 5 am every day, Monday to Sunday, it’s exhausting. When she goes to bed I have to get everything done quickly, sometimes I don’t even eat just so I go to bed early so I can get up with her at 5 am. It’s slowly killing me. I haven’t done anything for myself, watched a movie, or even had a pamper night in months.
I am happy to pay for, just on a Sunday, someone do to a couple of hours with her just so I can have a little relax and chill, my anxiety is at an all time high and I’m just shattered. Is this a thing or am I making up jobs now?? lol.
I have tried everything to make her sleep longer, you name it, I’ve done it. I understand this comes with being a mum, but just every second Sunday just so I can have a bit of me time, just to recharge my batteries…

Would you take your 2/3 week old to a family birthday event?

My husband’s uncle is having a big birthday trip (2-3hrs drive away) for two nights, there will be between 20-40 people, maybe more, and young kids who attend day care (nothing wrong with this but I’m just cautious of the germs around a newborn). I’m heavily leaning towards not going as I’ll probably still be recovering, and together with the drive, germs and numerous family members who don’t give a shit about boundaries feels like a no no. Curious as to what you would do?

Vent/ need advice

Over the past two months since giving birth, I've been struggling with mild postpartum anxiety and depression, and it's been incredibly difficult. I have no family or close friends in the UK, so my support system is mainly my partner and his mum.
Since our baby was born, I've taken on almost all of the childcare. My partner had five days of annual leave instead of paternity leave, but even then the support was minimal. I do nearly all feeds, nappy changes, and most household chores. I've repeatedly asked for more help, even with simple things like washing bottles, sterilising equipment, or holding the baby while I do chores, but I almost always have to ask. He rarely takes initiative.
Five days ago, I finally told him how unhappy and overwhelmed I feel. I explained that it often feels like he's still living as though he has no responsibilities at home. He regularly goes out drinking with friends or attends football matches, while I spend most of my time caring for our baby. When I struggle to keep up with the house because of my low mood and exhaustion, he criticises me rather than helping.
During the conversation, instead of acknowledging how I'm feeling, he became defensive and argued that because he works, he shouldn't have to help more. When I suggested small ways he could support me, such as preparing a nighttime feed, he dismissed my concerns and shifted the blame onto me. I felt unheard and overwhelmed, so I walked away to avoid a bigger argument.
Since then, he hasn't spoken to me for five days. He has not acknowledged my exhaustion, anxiety, or depression, and I have been crying every day. Meanwhile, he continues to spend time with friends as though nothing has happened. I'm starting to feel that he doesn't care about me, and I've even considered leaving with the baby. However, I have nowhere else to go and very limited money while on maternity pay. I feel isolated, unsupported, and unsure of what to do next.

He left again

He stayed at mine. Played pretend families. Bounced back to his mums. Zero communication. Zero checking in on the kids. Leaving me lonely. He planned to surprised his kids with something today. Choose to watch the football with his brother. Then chooses to go pub gone 11pm with a fake friend. And I get nothing but declined calls and shit responses. Anyone up to talk? Feeling low.

Struggling SAHM

Anyone else’s partner/ husband come home from work complain about his job and just lays next to you and scrolls through Instagram for hours? Or is it just me? Idk it irritates me so much bc I stay home all day waiting for him and he just does this . Doesn’t really spend any quality time with me I’d be lucky to get a kiss maybe on a good day when everything went well at work . Idk it’s just giving bare minimum to me and I’m just tired of dealing with it but I have no choice rn. It’s just hard dealing with being pregnant taking care of myself all day and I still have to take care of myself when he gets home. Idk makes me feel lonely in the relationship

Caught him sexting.

As the title says. A few years ago when I was pregnant I caught him with onlyfans. He would look a lot but never did more than that. I let him know that I consider that cheating anyways and if he ever did it again then it’s over. And here we are 4 years later. We haven’t been as intimate or passionate lately. I’ve been dealing with my aunt having cancer and a stressful job. I’m also on Zoloft so my sex drive is just way lower than it usually is. But the last few times I noticed he wasn’t staying hard or even finishing. I just thought he was stressed too much. But last night I looked through his phone and found him sexting girls starting November. He kept posting in sexting subreddit where they exchange nudes. And he was sending fake nudes?! As a wife I’m heartbroken. As a woman im pissed he’s catfishing. Then I saw he had onlyfans again and was even messaging with a few girls this time. Even telling a few that his wife wasn’t giving him any lately. Today has just been so weird and I think I’m trying to vent because I don’t have any friends. And I feel like I can’t tell my family. I just feel lost. And I’m heartbroken and I know what I have to do that’s best for me. But we have a 4 year old and we just moved into an apartment literally last week so we still have a 15month lease that I cannot pay by myself. I guess I’m just yelling out to the void.