Roommates

My bestie has been living with my husband and I for about 5-6 years now. She was in a position where she needed help and we were able to do that for her. (I want to preface this by saying we do a lot for her.) The past 5ish years it’s been great having her. She pays her rent on time and our kids love her. She is the basement auntie. Things have unfortunately taken a turn her personal life has taken quite a few hits the past few months and we’re being as understanding as we can. We’ve been taking late not in full rent (we don’t charge her for utilities or wifi , I’ve been taking her to and from work grocery shopping, just anything she needs really. But she’s picking fights and doing shitty things now. The way she’s treating us and our things is not okay.
I’ve tried talking to her about this, but if I bring up literally ANYTHING it’s throwing it back in her face. She has this idc attitude I told her if she was going to continue being shitty to me as I’m literally taking her to work she can get out and walk. Her response to that was “I’ll quit my job right now. I told her to find a new place to live. She just has a shitty attitude. I don’t want that around my kids.

She yells then cries then disappears to her family’s house for weeks at a time. I thought we were somewhat good after this last time she went to her families house but this morning I wake up to my clean dried clothes on the ground of the laundry room and my clothes that were next to go into the dryer are just wet sitting on top of the dryer. I know it’s not a huge thing but it feels disrespectful asf. Especially after having a conversation with her about her attitude and the things she does.

What should I do. I love her and I want her to do well in life. I really don’t want our friendship to go out the window but girlllll. Should we start treating her as just a roommate? Start charging her for utilities and rent in full at the 1st of each month?

I also want to add we don’t need her as a roommate we can make rent and bills just fine, our rent would actually be cheaper without her here. We’re literally only doing this because she needs us to.

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Honestly if she's treating you as you've mentioned and causing you more grief than love/joy. I would start charging her full rent. I'd also put some boundaries in place or have a little get together where everyone comes up with house rules (predominantly you and your husband as it is your house). My sisters' planning to move in with my husband and I (also won't charge her for anything).

We had a one week trial. There were a lot of things I wasn't the happiest with but we talked about it and decided we'd have a house meeting to go over house rules.

But at the end if it still doesn't work out (re her lack of change in attitude), have that honest conversation about wanting to remain friends (if that's what you want) but wanting your space with your family (she should respect that fullstop. Your family comes first).

Hope it works out for you all x

Maybe you guys need space.. if she’s comfortable staying at her family house weeks at a time. She would be in good hands. Being with each other can be overwhelming and possibly pent up anger on her side that she was secretly over the years. Just remember your you and your family come first, and it’s okay to hurt her feelings if she hurts yours. Sometimes friendships needs these type of test to push through.

But if you feel the need to still keep her around. Having her pay bills might add fuel to whatever attitude she may have.

She isn't actually your responsibility. The fact she threatens to quit her job suggests she knows your going to pick up the slack and look after her regarless of her contribution or situation. I think shes taking advantage and is over stepping. She's treating you guys like you owe it to look after her ? Like shes your kid. It sounds like a weird dynamic. If shes really a true friend she would understand that you need your family home to yourselves. Sorry if this sounds harsh xx

Not a good friend. I would already be done with her.

in our community

Partner broke up after 6 years and a 15 month old baby

My fiance (yes we were engaged) eft me last night. He ended our 6 year relationship and told me he doesn't love me anymore and can't stay with me just for the sake of baby.

I haven't slept all night I'm heartbroken and devastated and feel so blindsided as we wasn't even arguing at the time.

I feel sick with anxiety about the future and what this will look like for me and 15 month old. We're not married so I don't think I have many rights. I worried about my finances and losing our home etc.

Not to mention the loss of what I thought was my forever love.

It was out the blue but said he's hasn't been happy for months.

I'm broken. I genuinely thought we were in a good place.

I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying and I just want to get happy and 100% for my son

I can’t do it

Anyone else getting the overwhelming feeling like they just cant do it. I’m nearly 3 weeks in and I’m exhausting and feeling unwell.
I was in the hospital last few days due to an infection and feeling faint.
I felt better and went home, woken up this morning just feeling like shit again and rundown and hot.

Every time I ask my partner for some helps it is met with a “sigh” and he goes “I’m tired too and I’m working”
When I came back home house was still messy.

I have such back pain, extremely sore nipples, feverish but don’t have a fever and just so unwell.
At night baby is on myside I feed her and change her. Me and partner argue becuase he says he does everything and is running around but I don’t see it that way.

I’m feeling more disconnected to my baby and just cry a lot cause I’m in so much pain and exhaustion. The slight thought of regret having a baby is coming to mind and I feel so bad.

Anyone have any advice?

GOING BACK TO WORK

Am loosing it

I will be resuming back to work soon
Myself and my partner works full time
I work day shift and he does night shift
Now my partner is saying , he won’t be able to look after the baby while I am work cos he needs the day to himself to catch up with his sleep
He is insisting we take her to a daycare during the pay and that we must spilt the cost of daycare 50/50

I think that is being selfish 🤦🏻‍♀️
It is reasonable or I am just overthinking ?
Mums how do you plan with your partner on childcare while at work

Toothpaste

I just bought my 2 year old Tom’s toothpaste with fluoride in it. Is it ok if I use it and he doesn’t know how to spit yet? I barely used for the first time today. Also does anyone know what that spray is called that you use when baby falls asleep and can’t brush their teeth in the night

1 year after

Hey guys. My little one is 1 year and 3 days now. Having him was physically and mentally straining for me. Infections, dangerously low iron and folic levels and an all around mental roller-coaster. But I love him with all my being.

For a few months now ive been incredibly broody. Every time I look at my boy I am hit with an overwhelming want for another baby.
Financially its not really an option and admittedly im scared of the same things happening to me if im to have another. But I keep catching myself checking for ovulation windows and period timelines on my app that I use. Like im a robot being controlled loll.
My partner though is completely against having another one just now. "Let's wait until hes 5 like we talked about to see if we could do it again"
Hes not wrong. At all. But OMG I cant help it right now. Is anyone else having this issue? Because I just feel alone in my feelings right now and it feels like a room full of people just avoiding me completely

How/what are we eating with a newborn ??

It got to 8pm and all I had eaten all day was 2 hard boiled eggs! I’m breastfeeding so I know we need to also eat and drink to help our supply😩

How & what are we eating, with a baby who refuses to be put down ??
I need ideas for things that require little-no prep/cooking, not messy & can eat with 1 hand. But also not too unhealthy, my sisters advised me to not do what she did (just eat biscuits all day, she gained 0 weight in pregnancy but piled it on afterwards because of the food situation).

I feel so jealous of my partner sometimes, having a lunch break at work😞
+ eat a dinner that’s still hot & not having to breastfeed in the other arm.

I need to find a way around this what’s your hacks😅