newborns

To swaddle or not to swaddle that is the question!
I swaddled my 2nd (11 years ago) but im now hearing that swaddling isnt that great for them and it might be outdated advice.
Its to do with us missing their hunger queues and actually being able to be more free and not actually mimick the womb?? any opinions? i was all for swaddling but not sure now??

in our community

Vulnerable post: Is there such thing as the 4m+ trenches? I feel like I’m trying to stay afloat..

Next week I enter 4 months postpartum & my baby girl will hit, yet another milestone. As someone who struggles with anxiety, OCD and depression I somehow have done pretty well postpartum so far. I’ve always heard about the four month mark and as each week passed and I came closer to the four month mark, I still didn’t quite understand what these women were talking about as I didn’t genuinely feel like I was entering a rut. Well, next week is the week and this week has ROCKED me.

Maybe it’s because my husband left on Wednesday for 16 days, maybe it’s because I have officially hit a month of very little to no sleep, maybe it’s because I’m feeling extremely alone and isolated, who actually knows. Today as I was feeling joy of the memory of last September 27th when I found out I was pregnant, I simultaneously felt sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and failure. Failure that I am not doing a good job. Failure that I cannot make my baby happy or stay calm or get her to sleep. Failure that I’m not doing enough. I feel guilt when I put her down to try and get two seconds to myself or two seconds to eat food or two seconds to go to the bathroom for two seconds to try and manage an over flowing never-ending pile of laundry that’s accumulated from the last three months I spent away from home. I know I need to have grace for myself; every mother is told that. “Find grace for yourselves during a hard time”, but when my mind is racing and the baby is crying, grace is the last thing on my mind. Failure, guilt, sadness, anxiety, isolation, loneliness. Those are the words that come to mind.

Everyone talks about the newborn trenches. Personally, that wasn’t the “trenches” for me. Was it for you? People offer to help (maybe), phone calls, texts, gifts, deliveries, food all comes pouring in, babies sleep the most they will ever sleep besides to eat (yes that is more often), but it’s so different.

There is no more phone calls, no more texts, very to little support, no surprise check-ins or food drop offs, no offering to help watch the baby so you can try & feel human again, nothing. Most women go back to work, the partner has most likely been back at work, but for your baby everything has changed. They are more aware, more excited about the world, more excitement, are growing rapidly and hitting milestones quicker than you can blink. If anything, they need YOU, MOM more than ever. For mother’s these milestones come and go far too quickly, well before mom is even able to catch her breath or realize just how much time has passed, because she’s been trying to play catch-up with life and her mind since the very beginning.

So when all else fails, what are we doing mamas? Everyone tells you it takes a village to raise a baby, but no one’s willing to help build the village. So does anyone want to help build my village? This Mama could use a friend or two🥲🤍

Stains

Moms, what actually works for getting stains out of your kids’ clothes? 😅 I’m dealing with grease marks and all the random toddler stains. What products do you swear by, and do you pretreat, soak, or just throw everything in the wash?

Suicidal can anyone relate?

been depressed since I was in middle school now i’m 23 with a 2 year old drinking every day to stop from killing myself why does it never get better? Saw this story of woman who tried to drown her and her kids in a pool and honestly I completely understood. why keep a child in this miserable world. taking them out is saving them especially when no one would take care of them after you die anyways

Anyone who breastfed before… is it worth it?

Its much harder than I thought and I almost never get to sleep. Most people told me oh it gets easier but lots of mamas told me like ‘oh my 7 month old still feeds every 1.5 hours’ 😬

Where is the easy part in this? Really need some encouragement. We did formula for our oldest and right now it seems so appealing to share with my husband and get some sleep… 😭🙈

Night time

Hey moms I’m a new momma my daughter is 3 days old she’s cried most all night she’s been a great behaved baby but at night she cries and cries she’s been fed clean diaper I try to sooth her and I feel just mentally exhausted any advice on newborns who cry at night and tips for feeling overwhelmed being a new mom

Need Help!!!!

Hey Ladies,my baby is almost 3 months old and formula-fed. He cries A LOT 😭 After a feed I usually burp him and put him down for sleep, but he often wakes up after a short nap. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, but other times he just cries until his next feed.

He especially cries a lot in the evenings and during the night. He usually doesn’t settle properly until around 2-3am.

Is this normal for a baby who’s nearly 3 months? I’d really appreciate some advice on what I should be doing,how I can help him settle better in the evenings. Also, if your babies went through something similar, what helped you?