Narcissistic Partner. Need advice or support

I’m worried about 50/50. Will my kid be ok? Will I be ok? I think I’ll miss her so much and have so much guilt around not being there for her always. And so much sadness grieving the motherhood I imagined. Do they ever change? Its hard to let go of that hope…

Me and my “husband” (not legally married) have been together for almost 10 years. We had a “wedding” (not legally married bc he convinced me that was dumb) 3 years ago and our baby is 21 months now. I stopped working 4 years ago. I wanted a large family but I’ll never have another kid again.

Things weren’t great before hand, in retrospect there were red flags- but! Things are getting very bad now as far as financial control, emotional manipulation, neglect and abuse, threatening calling the cops about my depression while I have debilitating back pain that I’m getting treated for , saying I have to find somewhere else to live (after previously telling me he would relocate until I got ok my feet) and we will do 50-50 custody with 0 child support , nitpicks everything I do or say, makes my parenting and standards feel inferior to his… I could go on…

We tried behavioral therapy , it made things worse and enabled his behavior further. I’ve lost the life in my eyes trying to adjust to the constant moving goal post, WHILE learning how to be a mother. Still breastfeeding and cosleeping. He didn’t help with the baby’s sleep until my wheels fell off around 18 months.

I have some money saved but no job or income. I’m in therapy for myself right now and getting my body fixed so hopefully I can get a job and leave soon.

Has anybody had success with leaving this type of situation? How did you and your kids handle that? If you had divorced parents growing up, what was that like for you?

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If you stay, the babies suffer too. You have to force yourself to come to terms with the fact he's always going to be awful to you and eventually to them. Get yourself and the kids out and never look back. No way on God's green earth would I agree to 50/50.

Hi! I'm not in the same situation, but I was in a relationship with a narcissist years ago and still have trauma from it. I highly recommend checking out videos by HealingByTheNumbers, she's on YouTube and Instagram. For me personally, it's been very healing being able to see others in the comments who get it. Especially on the videos where she talks about how difficult it is to actually leave and stick to it.

My husband was raised by a terrible dad, not sure if his dad qualifies as narcissistic because I've spent very little time with him. But essentially, he couldn't care less about ever seeing his dad again. My husband originally never wanted to have kids because he was afraid of becoming like his father. His dad was very backed by his own family unfortunately so they never believed my husband about what was happening when he was growing up. Recently one of the uncles actually apologized for not doing more because he had witnessed concerning things but never spoke up.

If you are in La you can just walk up to the court house and ask for custody paperwork and they’ll give it to you for free if you have ebt and just fill out the paperwork and wait for a court date, if you have evidence that he isn’t helping out and is a danger to you usually they’ll give you full custody

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