Effect on marriage
How has having a baby changed your marriage and the way you treat your husband?
I’m genuinely curious to hear other moms’ experiences because I feel like we don’t talk enough about this side of motherhood.
My husband is honestly amazing. He’s a cardiology fellow, so his schedule is extremely busy, but he still makes an effort to spend time with me, help with the baby, and give me opportunities to rest. I really couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband.
However, since becoming pregnant and having my baby, I feel like I’m not myself anymore. I’m constantly irritable, I snap at my husband over little things, and sometimes I find myself getting annoyed just by his presence, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. I also feel emotionally disconnected at times, and I feel so guilty because he genuinely tries his best.
I’m currently a SAHM, and I struggle with motivation and productivity, too. Some days, I’ll cook dinner and clean the kitchen, but the rest of the house will be untouched. Even when the baby naps for longer than 30 minutes, I often end up doomscrolling or staring into space instead of resting or getting things done. Then I feel guilty about that, too.
I know having a baby changes your relationship, but sometimes I feel like I’m the one causing all the problems in our marriage because I can’t seem to regulate my emotions the way I used to.
I’d really love honest answers from moms:
* How has your relationship with your husband changed since having kids?
* Have you found yourself being more irritable, resentful, or emotionally distant from your husband, even when he’s supportive and hasn’t done anything wrong?
* Did you go through a period of feeling like you weren’t yourself anymore? If so, did it get better with time?
* How long did it take for things to feel more normal again?
I’m not looking for perfect marriage stories. I genuinely want to hear the honest, messy reality of what this transition has been like for other women, especially those who have supportive husbands but still struggle emotionally.
I think I need some perspective on what other moms have experienced because sometimes it feels like I’m the only one struggling with this.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Having a child has definitely been taking my marriage to new levels in both positive and negative ways for sure.
I was suuuuuper snappy/moody when I was freshly postpartum. Husband has been alright, if I’m completely honest, he’s been a bang average dad and getting more average with age, BUT I’m a SAHM so I understand most of the baby care is going to come from me (although I did nearly kill him earlier because he asked me where the baby painkiller was 🙃)
Anyway, my point is that I’m now 20 months pp and feel like I’ve really settled into my role and don’t really mind him being a bit rubbish sometimes. Sometimes I do call him out on it, but I pick my battles and it works rather than him feeling henpecked constantly.
I had moments in the first year when I felt like I was done with him, but a good couple of mates who you can rant to and who can validate your anger works wonders
I understand it is common especially during seasons of burn . Keep trying. Your not alone
Trending
in our community
16 month old and 12 weeks pregnant
I am 4’10 and as the title states 12 weeks pregnant. My son will be 23 months old when his sibling is born. I recently moved from FL to MI so my son could grow up around in laws, but that doesn’t mean I have my village. ❤️🩹 We were planning to buy a larger home next year but the surprise baby (I was told I’d not be able to conceive again after a botched c-section) we likely won’t be moving until the following year into a bigger home. Does anyone have advice or has been through having 2 under 2 and still wanting to get back into college online as well as managing a small home with very limited yard space? We had planned so well and ended up being hit 70mph head on in the middle of a custody case for my nephew and my identity being stolen in the six figures. We fell pretty hard and picking up the pieces. It feels like Groundhog Day everyday, especially not knowing people or having my own village. My husbands’ family has a strong mentality of only blood is family so I am just an outsider living 1000 miles away from anyone I know, home alone 6x a week and feeling defeated and scared about baby on the way. I felt like I was just getting back to feeling like me before pregnancy began. Did anyone else lose their sense of self, identity, other than being a mom, once becoming a mother?
4
Worried a little bit, did this happen to anyone else
I was out today with my daughter in her pram, well we were walking under some trees to a cafe literally seconds away, well we got there and I saw something on my daughters hand, I took her hand to know what was on it and realised, I quickly held her hand and wiped it down with baby wipes, while full on having an argument with my husband because he couldn't hear in the busy cafe what was going on, it was just a little bit on her hand, it was mainly on the side of her pram, inside and her blanket, which I quickly removed, I grabbed my daughter and whisked her to the loos and did a full wash of her hands and full explore of her mouth and lips to see if he put them in, I found nothing and I checked, I refused to put her in her pram for the rest of the day, I used the baby carrier, I got some anti bac spray for the pram and as soon as I back at out rented holiday cottage I took the insert and anything else that can be washed out the pram to wash in the washing machine, I have done it correctly, I am still thinking about it
4
How ?!
How do you guys do this ? We have 2 under 2 and I feel like I’m constantly stressed trying to sort the kids, being there for the kids, while trying to sort the house. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, playing, changes. Like where is the time to breathe ?
3
2yo birthday present ideas
What are we getting for our 2 year olds 😍
11
Lunch ideas
Does anyone have any lunch ideas?
I really struggle with what to make him😭
1
9
Effect on marriage
How has having a baby changed your marriage and the way you treat your husband?
I’m genuinely curious to hear other moms’ experiences because I feel like we don’t talk enough about this side of motherhood.
My husband is honestly amazing. He’s a cardiology fellow, so his schedule is extremely busy, but he still makes an effort to spend time with me, help with the baby, and give me opportunities to rest. I really couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband.
However, since becoming pregnant and having my baby, I feel like I’m not myself anymore. I’m constantly irritable, I snap at my husband over little things, and sometimes I find myself getting annoyed just by his presence, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. I also feel emotionally disconnected at times, and I feel so guilty because he genuinely tries his best.
I’m currently a SAHM, and I struggle with motivation and productivity, too. Some days, I’ll cook dinner and clean the kitchen, but the rest of the house will be untouched. Even when the baby naps for longer than 30 minutes, I often end up doomscrolling or staring into space instead of resting or getting things done. Then I feel guilty about that, too.
I know having a baby changes your relationship, but sometimes I feel like I’m the one causing all the problems in our marriage because I can’t seem to regulate my emotions the way I used to.
I’d really love honest answers from moms:
* How has your relationship with your husband changed since having kids?
* Have you found yourself being more irritable, resentful, or emotionally distant from your husband, even when he’s supportive and hasn’t done anything wrong?
* Did you go through a period of feeling like you weren’t yourself anymore? If so, did it get better with time?
* How long did it take for things to feel more normal again?
I’m not looking for perfect marriage stories. I genuinely want to hear the honest, messy reality of what this transition has been like for other women, especially those who have supportive husbands but still struggle emotionally.
I think I need some perspective on what other moms have experienced because sometimes it feels like I’m the only one struggling with this.
1
4
Download the Peanut App
