My Mil is visiting every other Saturday , stays for an hour or so to see my baby , never asks if i need any help or support knowing that i am struggling with taking care of baby, cleaning and cooking, doing my masters degree and also studying for my driving theory test. Yesterday she started asking me questions about when I am going to start sleep training cause she thinks my baby needs to learn how to be more independent (we cosleep). It really pisses me off that i have no help from her whatsoever but she dares to give me sarcastic advices even if this doesn’t impact her at all. She s saying that her kids used to rock themselves to sleep and was very adamant from the beginning that newborn are able to self sooth , making comments about me wearing the carrier to often , or the fact that i rock the baby to sleep. When i was pregnant she used to say that she will be here all the time to help me out cause my baby is her only grandchild, the only help i have ever received was a roast dinner the day i came back from the hospital after a c section. She was against me having an elective c section because she would not be able to be in the room when the baby was born , getting upset and talking behind my back to the whole family about the fact that i dont know what a c section implies( i recovered very quickly and it was the best decision ever).
Long story short, i am european and she is english, i know there are so many differences in our culture but it just pisses me off so much to the point where i absolutely hate having her around. Worst part is that i can t say anything because my partner loves her to death, obviously being his mom and also my family is not around and they are all i have. She knows i m dealing with postpartum depression, she knows i am feeling really lonely and i can t drive atm , but she just never seems to care or makes a little effort to make my life easier. Asking for advice, i am feeling really down atm and i feel like i started holding a grudge
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This is definitely a tough one but it’s super important you express how you feel to your partner. He really needs to be the one to ask his Mum for help on your behalf. Any boundaries being set with your mil need to come from your husband.
Thinking and praying for you. Take care!
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