12 month old constantly rejects husband

For months now our son constantly rejects my husband. By that I mean he literally runs away from him, hysterically cries when my husband holds him, hits my husband in the face when he tries to pick him up, doesn’t want to look at him, and a bunch of other ways of rejecting him.

I’m exhausted as I have to pretty much do everything to look after our son. My husband is really upset and hurt by being pushed away all of the time. It’s so hard for both of us.

Our son doesn’t do this with anyone else, he’s happy with grandparents, and other key people. This evening in a restaurant my son literally went up to a random lady and she picked him up and he nestled into her. My husband said seeing him do that with a stranger broke his heart as he tries so hard to make a bond with him.
Has anyone else had this? What can we do?

Husband tries to play with him, feed him, give him baths etc, and is very involved. Our son just doesn’t seem to like him.

Help and advice please! We are at breaking point 😭

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Is your son breastfed? I only ask as my son definitely had a preference to me but when I stopped breastfeeding my son became closer to my partner. I wonder whether he just realised that we can give him the same thing

Hi, non-preferred parent here. My daughter has been connected with my husband since birth. He's her secure home base and always has been, and she often rejects me from comfort or playtime, it's hard. It sucks.

He cannot take it personally. Your son rejecting your husband is actually a positive, healthy sign of secure attachment, believe it or not. Children who are not securely attached to their parents do not reject them. Your son feels safe enough to push your husband away because he knows he will always have his love, no matter what he does.

The hardest, and most selfless thing your husband will ever do is love him through this. Be understanding, stay in the same room with him but don't crowd, play parallel alongside him in a non-intrusive way, and support his relationship with you. "You love mommy very much, don't you? I love her, too." His job is to be the environmental provider - you are your son's emotional and physiological anchor, and he is there to make sure you and he have what you need.

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