Burnout and the Mental Load

So ive just found out my partner of 8 years together known each other 15 years with 5 kids together youngest being currently 6 month old. He has been talking and seeing some other lass since october last year behind my back i only just found out last night because the lass actually messaged me saying how shes been took for a fool and how much of a mug hes made her feel and allsorts hes met her in a hotel done stuff with her his family have all known about this the whole time and kept quiet infront of me this whole time ive been none the wiser i feel betrayed by everyone. I feel hurt before this we actually fell out before of something i did because my gut feeling was telling me for month he didnt want me he was messing aroind so it made me kiss someone else to which i regrettd and told him about it straight and the last 4 days have been amazing we have got through and last night that lass messages saying shes been saying him since october last years they done allsorts she knew about me about me being pregnant with our son at the time of meeting him she knew i have 4 other kids to him aswell and she still allowed it to happened no message with me no nothing. They both continue behind my back ive been sleeping wirh him non the wiser this has been happened she even said they was another girl before her he was talking to they play on cod together etc online. She said at one point he was voicenoting her and one of our kids have heard her and questioned him about it i havent been told about this with said child either. So shes clearly been bribed to not tell me anything aswell by him on our daughters birthday he gone tp meet her in a hotel insyead of ckming to his daughters birthday party saying hecwas atcwork when he wasnt! Last night i was so happy untill i got her message and he had told me everything last 4 days have been amazing with us and the kids and now this hes literally gone on today to buy a new phone and sim and give me his phone to give to kids reset it the lot but i just cant help bit feel its not gunna work i feel betrayed apecially qhen i was so poorly pregnant with his son and turns oit he was distant because he had another woman and she knew about me so i feel like every one of those nights now spent crying myself to sleep alone when hes been working away etc hes been with her there was signs he qas talkijg to someone aswell being off with me my prgnancy and callimg me names tellung me how i never give her sex and being secretive with his phone but ignored it all untill i broke and kiss someone else coa my head was in such a wrong space 2 month ago qhen i went out i was drunk it was a mistake bit of a attention yeah i like it but instantly regretted and went home then this week qeve worked on ot weve been so happy together all week untol last night. I feel absolute broke and i dont no what to do anymore!

Please tell me I'm not wrong in thinking you are a prick!!!

My neighbor's told wee old lady next door she's owned and lived here 60 years. He told her home owners shouldn't be mixing or communicating with us (tenants) he said this in front of me apparently us "social tenants" are scum,troublemakers,lazy and anti social behaviour. We both work pay full rent and council tax anytime we get work done i.e new fence or decorator apparently we shouldn't be allowed as its not our house. He claims we are the problem yet he chased a mum with asn child because he didn't like the noises she's made outside he actually threatened petrol bomb them 😮 when we first moved in he seen we had a child he was 1 then he's now 6 he told us our son can't play in garden before 10am if he's off I'm not allowed play music if he's off if he's out sunbathing our son needs either stay in or play elsewhere and our dog is not allowed to bark at all he even told us he has a gun for our dog 😮 also apparently he's a very dangerous man and has links to a gangster family 🤣 we should be scared of him because he's Irish and knows people 😂 please tell me I'm correct in saying wtf are you on!! His wife is just as bad btw she claims there basically gangsters and we should all be scared of them didn't know gangsters told people there gangsters 🤣 please someone tell me wtf this can't be real cause it is. He told hubby "when he's hyper just put him in front of TV with an ice cream" so he's not disturbing me.

How in the WORLD do I get a single SECOND OF PEACE during this 8-9 month separation anxiety phase?

It’s either they’re screaming to be right next to me or they’re right next to me throwing everything on the ground/tearing things up that I’m trying to double task and do with them next to me

I love them so much but OH MY GOODNESS

HOW DO I COPE

WHAT DO I DO

PLEEEEASE HELP ME THEYRE BOTH CRYING AND IM READY TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT

People around me keep asking what’s wrong, I keep hiding under the covers, they won’t even sleep at their normal bedtime and my nervous system is SHOT

PLEASE HELP

Not sure if it is the right place for posts about partners.

I get upset pretty easily when my two kids cling to me while my husband sits aside scrolling on his phone. Whether it is morning (when I get the kids ready for the day and he gets out from his morning shower) or dinner (kids keep wanting my attention when I’m still eating and he finishes his meal already). I silently fume inside when I see him scrolling from the corner of my eyes. And I start get annoyed by little things. I told him before to get as much sleep as possible because he’s a night owl and doesn’t want to change his bed time. If he wakes up early he’d turn into a miserable human being and I’d rather he starts his day with enough sleep to save me some trouble. That’s why when I’m getting the kids ready he is in the shower.

I know I should tell him to cut down his screen time when the kids are awake but I feel like he’d give me reasons like he’s just checking, there’s a sports game, etc. I feel like I just need to carry on when he’s absorbed into the phone. I also worry he’d say something like well you’ve let me be like this for so long, why telling me that I have to change now?

Kids prefer me over dad. It was a gradual change. The younger one has always been clingy to me and one day the older one started too. Husband probably felt rejected and stopped trying as hard. He also said that he doesn’t want to be yelled at by the older one when he goes to help, so the responsibility has fallen more and more onto me. Fortunately the younger one has been liking dad more but mom still is the favorite. I feel so overwhelmed. Husband and I both have full time jobs in the same industry.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the rant.

I’m a SAHM. I have a 4 year old with suspected ADHD. A 1 year old that doesn’t sleep in the nights. My partner works, yes I have help. But help in the way my mom will come down the house and just be here. Anyway, I have ADHD so I struggle with my emotions, and a week before my period I’m overwhelmed, I’m angry, I’m tearful and I let my partner and my mom know that if I’m touchy it’s because of that. My kids have driven me CRAZY this week. They have both been unwell and so have I. I’m burnt out, I haven’t slept, I’ve had to carry on being a mom like we all have to, whilst looking after myself and my kids. Anyways, today has been REALLY hard emotionally it’s been challenging. My kids haven’t stopped screaming and fighting and just all the things kids do. I suggested to my partner I might book a hotel for myself because I am NEVER away from the kids. They won’t sleep up my mum’s house they eventually want me. So I do not get a break. My partner was fine with the hotel idea, I told my mom and she thinks I’m having some sort of psychotic break. She is saying she’s worried to death for me. She’s asking how the hell I could do this, I’m so confused because, it’s just a night at a hotel where I can completely chill and SLEEP. She’s made me feel really insecure and it’s made me feel like a bad mom. She knows the struggle, she sees how hard it is with two small kids. She knows the pressure I am under. When we were children, she worked, my grandmother looked after us Monday-Friday. I KNOW it’s easier to go to work and just come home to the kids, bath’d fed and ready for bed. I did it for a short stint. I was much happier. Anyways. My question, am I actually having a psychotic break like she says? Or does anyone else feel like this is completely ok to have TIME to yourself? Some women might want to get dinner and a wine with friends, stay out late and come home. I’d rather go to a hotel, have a face mask on, watch my tv and go to sleep. I thought could trust her in saying I am feeling quite overwhelmed and this is my solution which I know will help me. Their dad gets to spend the day out tomorrow, what difference does it make?