Burnout and the Mental Load

How in the WORLD do I get a single SECOND OF PEACE during this 8-9 month separation anxiety phase?

It’s either they’re screaming to be right next to me or they’re right next to me throwing everything on the ground/tearing things up that I’m trying to double task and do with them next to me

I love them so much but OH MY GOODNESS

HOW DO I COPE

WHAT DO I DO

PLEEEEASE HELP ME THEYRE BOTH CRYING AND IM READY TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT

People around me keep asking what’s wrong, I keep hiding under the covers, they won’t even sleep at their normal bedtime and my nervous system is SHOT

PLEASE HELP

Not sure if it is the right place for posts about partners.

I get upset pretty easily when my two kids cling to me while my husband sits aside scrolling on his phone. Whether it is morning (when I get the kids ready for the day and he gets out from his morning shower) or dinner (kids keep wanting my attention when I’m still eating and he finishes his meal already). I silently fume inside when I see him scrolling from the corner of my eyes. And I start get annoyed by little things. I told him before to get as much sleep as possible because he’s a night owl and doesn’t want to change his bed time. If he wakes up early he’d turn into a miserable human being and I’d rather he starts his day with enough sleep to save me some trouble. That’s why when I’m getting the kids ready he is in the shower.

I know I should tell him to cut down his screen time when the kids are awake but I feel like he’d give me reasons like he’s just checking, there’s a sports game, etc. I feel like I just need to carry on when he’s absorbed into the phone. I also worry he’d say something like well you’ve let me be like this for so long, why telling me that I have to change now?

Kids prefer me over dad. It was a gradual change. The younger one has always been clingy to me and one day the older one started too. Husband probably felt rejected and stopped trying as hard. He also said that he doesn’t want to be yelled at by the older one when he goes to help, so the responsibility has fallen more and more onto me. Fortunately the younger one has been liking dad more but mom still is the favorite. I feel so overwhelmed. Husband and I both have full time jobs in the same industry.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the rant.

I’m a SAHM. I have a 4 year old with suspected ADHD. A 1 year old that doesn’t sleep in the nights. My partner works, yes I have help. But help in the way my mom will come down the house and just be here. Anyway, I have ADHD so I struggle with my emotions, and a week before my period I’m overwhelmed, I’m angry, I’m tearful and I let my partner and my mom know that if I’m touchy it’s because of that. My kids have driven me CRAZY this week. They have both been unwell and so have I. I’m burnt out, I haven’t slept, I’ve had to carry on being a mom like we all have to, whilst looking after myself and my kids. Anyways, today has been REALLY hard emotionally it’s been challenging. My kids haven’t stopped screaming and fighting and just all the things kids do. I suggested to my partner I might book a hotel for myself because I am NEVER away from the kids. They won’t sleep up my mum’s house they eventually want me. So I do not get a break. My partner was fine with the hotel idea, I told my mom and she thinks I’m having some sort of psychotic break. She is saying she’s worried to death for me. She’s asking how the hell I could do this, I’m so confused because, it’s just a night at a hotel where I can completely chill and SLEEP. She’s made me feel really insecure and it’s made me feel like a bad mom. She knows the struggle, she sees how hard it is with two small kids. She knows the pressure I am under. When we were children, she worked, my grandmother looked after us Monday-Friday. I KNOW it’s easier to go to work and just come home to the kids, bath’d fed and ready for bed. I did it for a short stint. I was much happier. Anyways. My question, am I actually having a psychotic break like she says? Or does anyone else feel like this is completely ok to have TIME to yourself? Some women might want to get dinner and a wine with friends, stay out late and come home. I’d rather go to a hotel, have a face mask on, watch my tv and go to sleep. I thought could trust her in saying I am feeling quite overwhelmed and this is my solution which I know will help me. Their dad gets to spend the day out tomorrow, what difference does it make?

So little backstory I’m 5 months pp and not even a month ago my husband started having problems keeping an erection. Sometimes he can sometimes (more than half of the time now) he can’t. He’s made it clear to me that it’s not me but I can’t help to think it is? Like I’ve lost a lot of weight I’m down to 128 so it’s not that. We started right away at 3 weeks pp and we’re doing it very often like I’d say 100 times(or more) since then. We got into working out and connected heavily so we have been non stop until last month. He won’t go to the doctor to see if it’s something health wise I’m just at a lost. And the way he takes himself away from me as well upsets me like he doesn’t touch me afterwards he just closes up and it makes the situation in my mind worse. Like why even get started with me like touching me (says he just can’t resist) if you can’t get it working right or at least be intimate in different ways. I just don’t know what to do or how to help him. Any advice? Is it too much sex?

My kids (almost 4 and almost 2) are good almost all the time, but can make me and my husband easily upset. How can we not get so upset with them?