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Burnout and the Mental Load

Getting upset easily

Not sure if it is the right place for posts about partners.

I get upset pretty easily when my two kids cling to me while my husband sits aside scrolling on his phone. Whether it is morning (when I get the kids ready for the day and he gets out from his morning shower) or dinner (kids keep wanting my attention when I’m still eating and he finishes his meal already). I silently fume inside when I see him scrolling from the corner of my eyes. And I start get annoyed by little things. I told him before to get as much sleep as possible because he’s a night owl and doesn’t want to change his bed time. If he wakes up early he’d turn into a miserable human being and I’d rather he starts his day with enough sleep to save me some trouble. That’s why when I’m getting the kids ready he is in the shower.

I know I should tell him to cut down his screen time when the kids are awake but I feel like he’d give me reasons like he’s just checking, there’s a sports game, etc. I feel like I just need to carry on when he’s absorbed into the phone. I also worry he’d say something like well you’ve let me be like this for so long, why telling me that I have to change now?

Kids prefer me over dad. It was a gradual change. The younger one has always been clingy to me and one day the older one started too. Husband probably felt rejected and stopped trying as hard. He also said that he doesn’t want to be yelled at by the older one when he goes to help, so the responsibility has fallen more and more onto me. Fortunately the younger one has been liking dad more but mom still is the favorite. I feel so overwhelmed. Husband and I both have full time jobs in the same industry.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the rant.