How do you go outside with a baby 😭 FTM

I usually take my girl out in the carrier if there’s something I need to do as it’s way easier than pram and I feel it soothes her more and keeps her asleep longer. So what I would do is:

Get myself ready in the morning then when baby is nearing feed, change nappy, feed baby and head straight out. She usually falls asleep straight away. I carry a little backpack for nappies etc and have only had to use it once when I was out for like 5 hours with her.
I also pick somewhere I can go to change nappy and have that in mind or just find out where all the baby change places are and decide depending on which one I’m closest to. Re feeding when out- I usually feed while she’s in the carrier as its easy and discreet but last time i took a bottle of expressed milk. Hope that helps! The more you keep doing it, the easier it'll be!

I was out shopping and for lunch with my daughter today for the first time, she is 12 weeks. Google some places that have feeding rooms in. The M&S where I am had there’s open, I took my pram and wrap sling to alternate so she didn’t get bored and restless. We also had a feed outside at costa but understand people aren’t always comfortable with that!! I also try to do a long feed and a change before we go out and even better if they’re due a nap as they sleep most of the way around. Just try to go through the checklist of feed, change, sleep etc to minimise any discomfort. My daughter loves to have a shout on and there was so many baby’s out doing exactly the same!! You’ve got it, good luck x

Hey! Not a silly question at all! I m a FTM and interested too! Same here.. in a way as I never been out on my own with my 4 months old, just with my husband. She hates slings/carriers too and only had her in the pram or car seat so far for walks. I was out with her once for a walk,started fussing at a point and had to take her out and hold her in my arms whilst I was pushing the empty pram home-20 mins walking distance 😆😆🙈Hope some advice from experienced mums 😊

Hey I’m a FTM that doesn’t drive too! It can be really daunting going out with a LO especially if you’re prone to feeling anxious- you’ll automatically think worst case scenario. We did our first big day trip out yesterday and it actually went ok. My LO is bottle fed so it may have been slightly easier as I didn’t have to worry about feeding in public. Are you able to perhaps express some milk to bring with you?
I made sure that I started off with shorter ventures out of the house to get LO used to his pram/being outside etc. We go for walks that typically last around an hour. Thankfully that really helped get him used to being out and about and he now sleeps quite a bit when out walking. The fact that he likes to snooze out and about makes popping into shops easier.
Try not to worry about what people might think. Babies sometimes cry and that’s ok. My advice would be to start with daily walks to get both you and LO used to being out and about. It really helped me 😊

I agree with using a sling or carrier. Baby will.likely be more settled and you could feed discreetly.
Most big department stores will.have decent baby change facilities too so a quick Google before you go should be all you need to feel prepared should you need to change her.

And another tip..
Please don't worry about what anyone thinks. Babies cry and need feeding, it's their issue not yours, dont ever feel.judged ☺

Oh lovely, poor you. It sounds so stressful. It does feel very nerve-wracking. I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old and it's been tough to go out with the two of them alone. Do you have a shopping centre near you? They tend to have nicer facilities for feeding and changing. Is he not happy in his pram? It's so easy to say but honestly ignore people if they stare. Keep in mind you are doing a grand job of taking care of him. It sounds silly but if you can time it to feed him and change him just before you go he might be more settled?

If you’re comfortable baby wearing, they’re usually calmer there.

You can ask stores if they have a place you can nurse that’s private but isn’t the bathroom. They might let you borrow a manager’s office for a few minutes.

Another option is to pump a bottle before you go and offer that if he gets fussy.

But also, if people stare, it’s their problem. Don’t make it yours. You’re doing your best and it’s nobody else’s place to judge you for existing in public with a fussy baby.

I’m pregnant with my second and I’ve had times where I’m running like a crazy heavily pregnant lady after my toddler in the middle of a service station. I don’t even notice if people stare anymore! Just ignore them. No one will approach you

I can totally relate to this x

I just started going out with my twins about two weeks ago. The only thing I would ever do is take them to my MIL and. Doc appointments. I got tired of being home and they are 15 months and never been out besides the beach 2 times last summer. I just wash my hands keep my distance from others and try to wipe anything the girls try to touch. They also hated the drive/car seats but they got usto it, but a lot of babies don’t like it. But I know the anxiety. I had my son 8 years ago and I felt things were so much easier and I get so much axiety because it’s double troubke and covid. Just take your time doing stuff don’t rush things and who cares what people say, you’ll have People stair for stupid reasons. I look 26/17 in person and it’s anoying because I’m always judged and I’m 28 but I learned to ignore it lol

I’m the same I really panic about my baby crying and people staring, I also look like a 12 year old🤦🏽‍♀️😂 I’ve started using a sling to do my shopping it’s much easier, I express milk too for if I’m outside the house I’m not comfortable feeding in public and too much of a germ freak to use the toilets. Where are you from? I drive so if you’re close enough to me I would be happy help you out and get from place to place xxx

Totally understandable anxieties, first step, breath, and don’t worry about what people might (but probably aren’t) thinking. Just focus on you, and the health and safety of your baby.

Couple tricks for when out:

Breastfeeding - (try out at home first) but it is totally doable in most carriers and if you wear something that make your boobs easily accessible, it’s very modest. Though in truth there’s nothing more natural than feeding your baby, and there’s no need to feel self conscious. I fed my daughter all over the world on buses, planes, trains, boats, restaurants, cafes, everywhere. And in 2 years only had one couple complain.

Changing - if you have a carry cot for your buggy, I’d do that for short trips out as then you can change baby easily in there. I’ve done it even in fancy restaurants because I didn’t want to lug everything up or downstairs. Just be sure to have nappy bags to pop the nappy & wipes in

You’ve got this!

F

It’s so scary being our with baby especially when they scream so don’t get down on yourself mama it can be overwhelming. My baby has CMPA and while she was being diagnosed she would scream and scream and scream but I just got outside cause I figured if I didn’t I would never go anywhere! Now she loves being out in her pram and just cruises and snoozes ❤️
I would say make sure you get yourself all ready first so you feel like your ready to take on the world! And leave as close after a feed as you can...also read your baby - you know them best! If that window between feeds doesn’t feel right, wait and leave in the next one.

Also I know you don’t like to feed in public places but if you do need to I always find boots and mamas and papas are the best for feeding rooms - especially boots cause it is spacious and it isn’t a toilet 🤣

Good luck! Xx

Ok, first of all - you have to ignore people staring because believe me when your baby gets older it’s just gonna get worse. Your baby crying is none or their business and crying baby is not a problem until he is safe, babies cry that’s all don’t be scared of that. I know that it’s hard to enjoy time outside while the baby is crying - so choose the time to go out when you know he is gonna be asleep - change him right before the trip, feed him, pump some milk so you don’t have to breastfeed - even a little bit is gonna hell to calm him in the worst situation. At that age babies are falling asleep while driving most of the times, so be calm mommy you’re doing great job

This must be your first baby lol I was like that with my first baby then my second I was less anxious and with my third I just pack up everything I need and go! If you worry too much about where to change diapers and where to breastfeed you won’t ever get out! Changing rooms are a great place to breastfeed and most malls here have mommy rooms special for breastfeeding and changing and even have microwaves for bottle warming but our malls are shut down currently due to covid ugh so we just go for long walks right now and I’ve changed my fair share of poo blowouts at the park on a blanket haha

I was nervous the first few times taking the baby our alone. What if she cries? Where will I feed her? Where will I change her?

Unfortunately, the only way to get more confident in taking the baby out is by keeping doing it! Keep working on your small trips, try to be as organised as you can.

Babies cry.. its guaranteed. People will stare, but chances are you will never have to see these people again. No one cares as much as you think they do.

Now I go out every day with my baby and give zero fucks. If she needs feeding, I'll whip my boob out in the middle of the street to feed her. You gotta do, what you gotta do.

Just keep at it and believe in yourself! You can do this and it will definitely get easier.

Don’t worry every feeling is valid ... I’d say start small .. short journeys and build up ..: 10 mins - praise yourself ! Reward yourself !! Eventually you will be on longer journeys ... build up small steps
“You got this “
X

Sounds like you’ve gotten some really great advice already! I’ll just add, with my kids I go to big open spaces rather than malls or something enclosed because it’s much easier for me to focus and manage when things get crazy. There aren’t many people around and the people that are around are usually parents or nannies with kids. I keep the trip short, and I always wear the baby in a carrier. Walks are the best... I leave right after nursing and try to be home by the time she wakes up from her nap.

I always go to places with very nice restrooms. And stores that have dressing rooms are a great spot to breastfeed. My store trips can only last about an hour now. Eventually the baby does get tired of being out. When she does I find a quiet place to breast feed and then we go home.

I feel you on this! The anxiety it’s horrible and I didn’t want to breastfeed in public as with Covid you can’t just pop to a bathroom or something. It really is a case of you pushing yourself, small steps at first, and then your confidence will grow. I ended up finding out my son is an actual agent of chaos and the bumpier the pram ride the easier he settled to sleep. I pumped and kept a bottle in the bag if he needed to feed, and just brought a dummy/teether etc to keep him occupied if he was awake. Now it’s my fav thing to do. I was shit scared and paranoid when he cried in public initially - you do really feel like people are judging but honestly most aren’t. And it actually made me realise how kind some strangers are when they comment on your baby or congratulate you. I say know your limit, and try each time to push yourself a little out of it each time whether it’s 5 extra minutes on your walk or going to a coffee shop etc. In no time you’ll flourish

Your baby is so luck to have a mommy who cares so much about so many this!! 💕 but....get a grip on your fears and anxieties because little kids are sooooo good at picking up on that and playing off of your mood! Baby is learning everything from you, including your emotions.

I overthink things too and the newborn phase was really hard.

Be confident!
If baby cries, you’ll figure it out.
If you need to breastfeed while out and about, you’ll figure it it.
If you forgot something, you and baby will either survive or you can pop into a store and buy whatever you need.

Start small!
Put baby in a stroller and walk to the nearest park or walk around your neighborhood.
Get used to keeping baby happy in public and in his stroller that way, with no judgement.

Simplify your thinking when going out!
Pack:
A few toys
Enough to diaper and feed baby for a few hours longer than you anticipate in case you get stuck out and about
Extra set of baby clothes in case of accidents

Guys, I done it !! I took everyone’s advice loool I literally sat down and read each comment to make sure I wasn’t leaving anything out. The only downside is that places that usually had changing spaces had been shut because of covid. Luckily found a McDonald’s and changed him in the pram as someone suggested. At one point he got a bit fussy and was about to scream. I almosttttt panicked but I just asked to put my stuff behind the till. I left the shop walked around and then came back. I think someone else suggested something similar. I just went to one shop and decided to start small like everyone said. He even napped and I got to buy myself some new bras and PJs! Well, we’re back indoors and he’s asleep ! So safe to say it was a success

I love this app everyone is so helpful and encouraging. Thank you!❤️❤️

Yay!!! Glad you had a good time! And yes! Going out often wears babies out and makes for good naps! There’s so much for them to see and hear and learn, it’s a win win for everyone usually...with a bit of stress here and there but hey, stressful incidents can occur between grownups while out and about too, life isn’t perfect.
Enjoy your new freedom and your new going out companion 💕

Bless you! My baby is almost 4 months old and I felt like this at the beginning. Major mum guilt for being stuck in the house all day but also bored out my mind! The first time I took her shopping she was a nightmare and wanted picking up. First time I took her out for a walk she screamed most of the way. It bothered me at the time and made me think I can never take her out! However I just persisted with it and she now loved being laid in the pram. If she does cry when I'm out I will just carry on as I am and ignore any stares lol I did take her to a local beer garden last week when they opened, she was a nightmare and just screamed. I was getting worked up about it so I just took her out into the car park for a walk and she went to sleep. From my experience the only advice I can give it the first few times you try may be a total disaster but stick with it and baby will get more used to it and it will get easier xx

Try not to worry so much about what other people think. Maybe try to get comfortable with feeding & even changing the odd nappy in public if you have to. What you are doing is completely 100% natural. There is nothing wrong with a crying baby. If people have a problem with your baby crying or you breastfeeding, it is their problem not yours. You and your baby have a right to go out, to enjoy the world and to be happy. Maybe start off with going to baby friendly places with good facilities. Take your baby to places like wildlife parks and family focused attractions where they expect a lot of babies & children. But above all remember that you & your baby have a right to be out there is the world, even if that means a bit of crying in public, screw anyone that may feel otherwise! Xx

I could have literally wrote this exact same post, I thought I was the only one!! My son's 5 months too, we've never gone anywhere except to the doctors/hospital. The first time I took him out to my local Tesco (2 minute walk) 2 weeks ago, he developed a lump on his head from allergies, doctor said I need to take him out more often so his body gets used to it. I now take him to the garden everyday but I still can't manage to actually take him outside somewhere because of all the reasons you listed. I know I'm just over thinking & we'd probably be fine but still can't.I'm ebf & he needs to be fed every 2hrs, I wouldn't be comfortable feeding him in public so the journey would have to be an hour long to get home in time to feed so I just avoid it altogether as it isn't enough time. And the dreaded poop explosion! I feel like with my luck that would definitely happen. I have spare clothes and nappies in my baby bag, we are prepared but I'm really struggling, we haven't even joined any baby groups because of this

Have a look at the ‘baby wearing uk’ group on Facebook!! My little boy is 3.5 months, I wear him in a sling everywhere, I have only used my pram once when you get used to how to tie the wrap type slings you can breastfeed very discreetly whilst walking around! I wear my sling over my t-shirt all day and baby goes in and out constantly. It keeps my hands free too xx

I think we worry about this because of fear of judgement from others. As soon as uou can can let go of that fear, the panic goes away (ie my baby is crying? None of your business. I'm sorting it.) Thry are never more portable than when they are tiny.

But i can totally relate to the anxiety beforehand. For me it's more about making sure they are dressed properly that worries me, as they can't tell you. On baby #3 and have dealt with most situations by this point, including poonamis and no clothes left. 🤣

Anxiety for sure , talk to your doctor and also 🤔 your over thinking you are fine and a good mother you have nothing to worry about

Basically, and this is easier said than done, but don't be scared that your baby might cry in public. Babies cry. No one is going to judge you (and if they do, they're an arse and not worth the time of day).

I think the main issue here is you said you won't breastfeed in public. Babies feed regularly so you're really limited in how long you can go out for if you will only feed at home.

These are suggestions:
Just shamelessly feed in public. It's legal and there's nothing wrong with feeding your baby
Pump and take a bottle of milk with you in case bub gets hungry
Research the shopping centre. Most large ones have a parents room with cubicles for breastfeeding in. So you don't need to feel anxious because you know exactly where you can go if you need to feed.

Awww I'm so glad to read you went. Well done. The biggest thing is your own fear you have to try to let go of worrying about what others might think. Now I'm not one for letting babies cry I always would comfort them but if you are walking and baby is in the buggy it is OK just to sing/talk to them to try to sooth them while you find somewhere you can sit and get baby out without having to feel overwhelmed bad about it. Also I'm a firm believer of finding a place to change baby's nappy when they are in their buggy (much easier and can be cleaner too!) you can get little toys that attach to the buggy like fake car steering wheel that beeps and lights up... Can help sometimes (other times they have no interest) but just remember there is not a single mum in this world who has not had a terrible overwhelming day out where they feel like everything is going wrong and they just want to run home, so u are not alone. The best thing to do is just keep trying until you get the hang of it. You got this. X

It is overwhelming and scary at first! It really feels like a huge task. I found my baby complains sometimes in the car seat but then she falls asleep, make sure your have your stroller at hand so you can just put the baby with the car seat onto the stroller if baby is asleep (making sure they aren’t in the car seat for more than an hour at a time). I change my baby in the car and not in bathrooms it’s too tough lol. Have a breastfeed scarf on you if you need to feed.

I think this is very normal for all mothers, we always get worried about what people around us will think if bang is crying and that makes us anxious and panic. I actually found that it was much easier with my first baby to go to places with pram and baby carrier. Once baby had enough of pram I would put them in carrier and they would fall asleep and I could even feed them without anyone knowing in carrier too, you can figure out ways to do this discreetly. Another option for feeding if there is no baby feeding rooms, is going to a changing room. I’m not actually sure if they are open now with covid but at least they are cleaner than bathrooms and in emergency situation u can have somewhere you can sit and have privacy. I think the more you venture out you will find you own little routine that works for you. Just think about yourself first and foremost and what’s easy for you and baby and try not to think of others around you, at the end of the day they probably don’t even care!

Being prepared always helps. Spare clothes for him and top/breast pads/bra for you in the nappy bag along with changing supplies, a cloth, dummy if you use them, wet bag for dirty stuff, suncream. I always have a baby carrier under the pram so If bubs won't settle I can pop her in that. I've never had much issue with people looking or feeding in public but a cover maybe if it makes you more comfortable?
It does sound like you have a lot of anxiety, have you spoken to your dr about your concerns? You might be suffering from post natal anxiety, we talk a lot about pnd but not so much about pna and it's a very real, very common thing, especially for first time mums and even more so in our current global situation, your gp might be able to offer you strategies to cope or even refer you to a support/mother's group that's still running.

Babies cry, that's just a fact. You just need to meet his needs in the big wide world, like you do at home. If he's hungry, feed him. If he's dirty, change his bum.
Baby wearing may be your saviour instead of the pushchair, and some carriers can accommodate breastfeeding while they're in the carrier (I'm a bottle mama so no idea which are best).

No one is ever going to judge you for a crying baby, as long as you ate doing what you can to comfort them 🥰

🤣I’m 22 and I literally look 16 and I get stares all the time. You just need to learn to ignore it! It’s definitely takes time tho. I was scared to go out with my baby too but the more you do it the better it get. Just make sure their nappy is changed right before you leave or dont leave until they’ve done a number 2 lool its what i usually do. Honestly the more you go out the easier it will get. Start with short walks then transition into longer ones.

My baby is 6 months and she hates shopping she cries anytime I go to do food shopping or even just walking round the shops for a look, I either try and go with someone else to give me a hand or I make sure there is somewhere I can sit and nurse her or change her nappy. I usually end up pushing her pram and carrying her in the other arm as she gets fed up! A baby carrier is probably the best option as they can see what’s going on.
I try not to care what other ppl think u just do what u think is right!

It’s very normal. Good you went! You go mama! We are mentally there with you next time okay? You can do this. Make it fun. And every minute he is not crying is a little victory. Count your victories! Ps there are very convenient cover ups for breastfeeding in public without actually “showing” anything. Can buy at target or any other big retail store.

When I first took my little one out if he started crying I would get really stressed but now I will just stop in whatever aisle I’m in out my bags down get him out him pram and shamelessly rock him unless he calms down. You just do what’s best for you and not worry about anyone else! Last time this happened I was in Tesco and was just staring at chilli sauce for 10 minutes whilst he cleaned down! Is the primark near a shopping centre? They usually have baby feeding rooms etc which I find are usually nicer than you expect. But good luck tomorrow you’ve got this 💕

Omg I can relate to this so so much! I was incredibly anxious and didn't even like the thought of going for a walk or the shops to grab some food. However it wasn't as bad as I thought when I pushed myself to just do it. I found with taking a long time baby just fell asleep usually, or because wasn't used to new surroundings was just looking around at everything rather than crying. I'd say just bite the bullet and you'll see it's not so bad, I think we make situations worse in our heads 😅💕

Babies cry. They just do. Buy yourself a sling. Feed him on the go. Practise at home and before you know it you'll be flying it. Plus hes less likely to cry if he's literally on you. You can nip around the shops at ease. Good luck