Would you be upset?
So I have been feeling upset today for a few reasons.
1 I asked my siblings, I have 3. Lets call them A, B and C, if we were doing anything for Easter this weekend. A, never responded, B said he had to get through the work week first and C said she didn't know what her little family was doing yet, so no idea.
I said ok, let me know and told them that my little family was away most of the weekend visiting my partners family but would be free on Monday.
Found out on wednesday that B had organised for our parents to go over on Thursday for a movie night and today, after I asked that he and his wife will be out tomorrow but will visit our parenrs on Monday. So he is capapble of organising things, just not with me.
Found out, alao today, also after I asked, from A that she and our parents are going to visit C, her partner and their 8 month old.
So I am upset and angry that noone communicated with me and I had to follow up to get answers.
It's bringing up other issues we have had. Like Christmas 2024, my kiddo was in hospital so we missed Christmas with my family and then my SIL posted photos captioned "family photo" to our fanily group chat (can't remember if she posted to social media) but have taken "family photos" exactly twice before that (once at my Dad's 70th the month before and the other at my brother and SIL's wedding. She was the first to join our family and had been in our lives for 6 years at that point. We haven't taken "family photos" since, despite adding a member, when my niece was born, I was really hurt by that.
2. I am upset with my partner because we are at his Dad's and I have put the dishwasher on twice (he helped once) and a load of washing (he hung it out) and he aaked me to organise our kids dinner, meaning search his Dad's fridge or pantry. I just gace him toast. He also basically told me to put another load of washing on after our kiddo pooped his pants and then turned the bathroom light off, while I was still in there, and walked away.
I absolutely don't mind pulling my weight at his Dad's but it feels like he follows my lead and does the things I have started a lot of the time.
I also would never expect him to rifle through my parents fridge or pantry.
His Dad is super cool and I know I am welcome too, it just feela uncomfy.
3. Our SIL (on my partners side), we'll call her P, is the one who pafticipates in the group chats and her husband, my partners brother isn't even in the chat and is notoriously unreliable in terms of reaponding to or answering calls or texts. So it goes through P. Anyway I feel like there is always an excuse for them not to hang out and my son barely sees them and his cousins. As a result he is obviously closer to the two he does see and it's noticeable.
They aren't free at all this weekend, except tomorrow when we are all catching up and they aren't free next weekend. They weren't free for a city date in January and constantly have thinks on; dance, soccer, parties etc. Never available for quick catch ups either. They live a few streets over from my partners Dad but it's impossible to see them and I am ready to give up. They remind me of my aunt and uncle and I have minimal contact. Never call or text, see them once a year and at special events. I have zero relationship with my cousins. I haven't actually seen my aunt and uncle since 2023 and can't remember the last time I saw the older of my 2 cousins.
I hate that my son is going through what I did.
Anyway, it's been a down day.
Emotional abuse
It’s been pointed out to me that what I’ve been experiencing in my relationship is emotional abuse. After a year and a half of manipulation and gaslighting, things are finally starting to make sense, but it’s also overwhelming to process.
What makes it even harder is knowing that from the outside, he’s seen and known as such a kind and good person and I’m afraid no one will believe me. Right now, I feel completely drained, like I’m carrying a constant weight, with this tight, anxious feeling in my chest that won’t go away.
I’m still trying to find my footing and understand what comes next, but I needed to say this out loud. 😔
