MIL wants to host baby shower?

so from the beginning of my pregnancy i never planned on having a baby shower, just a gender reveal with a typical baby shower games and lots of food homemade because me and my family love cooking and baking! so it’s kind of like a two in one. mine and my partners close friends and family are invited so there’s roughly 30 people so basically is a baby shower at this point…

when speaking on the phone to MIL however she mentioned also having the baby shower at her house. first of all, she lives 40mins-1hour away from us meaning all my family and friends would have to travel. so most probably wouldnt even go and it would mostly be her friends that ive never even met and don’t plan on baby meeting. she said itd be good for gifts but we have an amazon registry anyway where gifts will be sent straight to us which i was going to send out after the gender reveal. i just wanted a lowkey meal with my sisters, my mum, my best friend and her mum instead of a baby shower.

problem is i find it so hard to say no to MIL. she’s constantly saying she will buy stuff for baby that we’ve already picked out things we want to buy. problem is she only messaging me and talking to me about all of this so my partner cant be the one to say no! - when its your own mum theres a lot less pressure when saying no!

do i just not attend my own baby shower? or do i just go along with it and let her plan it? i made it clear from the beginning that i didn’t want one!

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Just tell her that you're going to have the one you've planned, that it's too much of an ask to ask ppl to go to two. Why not set up a group message between her, your partner and you, so all of this stuff goes on there so he can get involved and you can be a united front there.

yes we do were doing it at my sisters house as it’s convenient as it’s bigger and they’re making food. we did consider hiring somewhere but we definitely didn’t give it enough time to book!

i have no idea why i didn’t think of that! 😅 will make that soon as

It's a win win, it looks like you're inviting her I put, but really you're just handing it over lol

I mean I'd let strangers buy for me... my baby shower was terrible and I believe we only got three things from our registry... so you honestly may not get much of anything without a shower. On the other hand, if it stresses you out, be firm and say you're doing a 2-in-1 gender reveal baby shower and you'd love for her to pitch in to that instead

Reminds me of this video lol
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYm75dPf/

i saw that tiktok today!

Say no thank you, you have a little get together planned and you know your circle wouldn’t be willing to make the trek to a 2nd event for the baby.

I didn’t want a baby shower for my first and my MIL hated that. Now I’m having my 2nd and she’s HELLBENT I have a baby shower, I’m due in a weeks and haven’t planned a thing. I won’t do it. I don’t want one.
I don’t wanna sit through a baby shower for myself. I wanna nap.

Stick to your guns, if you don’t want it that’s completely fine you don’t have to have one!

"traveling " 1 hour is not bad at all. Family & friends flew in from out of state for my baby shower & some drove 2+ hours to come & whoever was in town got hotels near by. But that's just how my people are. The support is extreme with my family & friends. I see why this can be annoying, since I can't stand my own mil. But my mil literally didn't plan anything or bring anything to my baby shower. I didn't expect her to. She could've stayed home for all I care. Why would you not attend your own shower tho. More baby stuff is never a bad idea. Tell her how you feel & that you're already planning something or go along with it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

The group message suggestion was a great idea. Let your partner deal with his mom.

Just say no thank you honestly save thing happen to me I was basically forced to attend grateful for the gifts but no one was talking to me every one was talking to my fiancé and mil like if I was just a surrogate

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

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My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️