Back door Sex postpartum at 4 weeks?

So I had sex before six weeks but that was my choice if you don't want to then don't stick to what you said about waiting till 6 weeks if he can't respect that then he doesn't get any sex and that's his problem

If he can’t wait six weeks he may need to go to the doctor to get tested. He may have high testosterone or some type of chemical imbalance. Jacking off four times a day or more sounds extreme. He isn’t down right forcing you but it’s towing the line because you have to tell him every day no ??

I’d still be worried about getting a prolapse or something but that’s just me I know people that have done it at 4 weeks and are fine I’m just too paranoid to risk it but every one knows their own body I love my husband and I know he can wait but I’d do oral just to give him some type of pleasure

If the relationship dwindles because of you giving your body time to heal then that man only wants one thing lol he should at least pretend to understand what you’re going through. On another note, if YOURE horny as well then it’s a diff story. My bf and I had veryyyyyyy gentle veryyyyyy slow sex at 4weeks pp but only because I felt up to it. I wanted it just as bad as him, my bleeding had stopped, and I felt like I could do it. Listen to your body and if you feel fine and YOU also want it then I’d say go for it but take it very slow.

Side note: I am now 5 months pregnant again and my son just turned 7months.. you do the math Lmao we actually wanted to have them close together but if y’all don’t then be VERY careful.

If your relationship dwindles from him having to wait 6 weeks after you birthed a whole child Id say youd have to reevaluate if thats who you want as your partner.
Based on what you wrote it sounds like youre not ready yet why give in?
Postpartum should be a period for your body to heal and bond with the new baby.

yea I give him oral every other day. I try to keep him satisfied. I just worry that I can’t keep saying no or else it’ll start to ruin the relationship

Hun. He sounds awful putting such pressure on you. What the hell. You just had a baby he should be taking care of you and being patient until you are ready to have sex. I can’t believe he’s just on your case everyday to have sex, even anal is not comfortable for everyone so you won’t be enjoying it? He sounds so selfish wow! I’d have a talk with him and say listen i need more patience from you. You just had a baby. Even the anus is more prone to hemeroids/ piles post partum and obviously needs a lot of lube which makes it slippery and it can enter the vagina which is not recommended before 6 weeks plus it could hurt plus you can get an infection from anus to vagina! 🥺😧

If your only concern is possibly ruining the relationship, that’s not the right concern to have. Your concerns should be connecting with your new baby and healing yourself. Unless YOU want to have sex, f*** what he wants. 🤷🏽‍♀️ & if that tears apart yalls relationship then consider it dodging a bullet. Sorry if that sounds harsh but sex isn’t a big enough deal to stress this much about it with a new baby in your life.

As someone who dealt with this they are never going to change unless they get help and this is something you shouldn’t have to deal with to not ruin the relationship. He needs therapy or things will never work. I hope things get better for you though and don’t ever feel pressured

Lol, no, that's not happening here. I'll come up with a medical reason if one doesn't exist 🤣 That's a rare occasion thing even when my pelvic floor is in tact. You can have a hand job or a blow job buddy, or you can chill.

How old is he?

It does seem your uncomfortable and if that's the case then definitely push YOUR issue on not being ready .

He needs to respect you, you just had a baby for crying out loud.

And if he can't wait 6 fuckin weeks then you definitely don't need him.

I had sex 6 days pp no tears or stitches and I was fine just made him wear condom

This guy sounds like an ass hole

lol, if he wants anal you can offer pegging 🤣🤣🤣🤣

haha that’s true

I had a tear and had sex a good bit before I was cleared even used a toy but you have to go at your pace I kinda rushed mine so it really wasn't to fun til I fully healed but again I did tear and was stitched

Do not listen to the person who had sex 6 days pp. that’s not normal

Exactly incognito please wait until you’re healed your partner is just going to have to wait . I personally know a friend who got an infection 3-4 weeks postpartum and regrets it so much. Also your partner needs to wait and stop making you feel bad. Asshole!

I like the idea that he wants to have with you and not try to do pornography, does he always ask before he does porn?

he watched porn the first couple nights after I had birth right next to me while I was supposedly sleeping. I don’t mind if he takes care of himself because he bothers me less about it. It’s just insane to me how much he does it. And much he wants it. It makes me worried that if I don’t give it to him he’ll get it elsewhere eventually

I hate to scare you because I don’t know him so I can only speak from experience but my ex had a bad sex addiction and did the same exact things your saying. He ended up cheating and leaving his son and me and still isn’t in his life. But it’s honestly not worth trying to keep someone like that in your life if they aren’t willing to try and take the steps to get better

I was thinking this was just a normal boy thing for the longest but this comment section is making me second guess

Girl I thought the same thing!! I started telling my close guy friends about it after our breakup. They all told me how NOT NORMAL it was. And that was coming from MEN!

That's really no good. You shouldn't be afraid to say no when you don't feel good. It shouldn't be a constant chore because you're afraid of them cheating. It was similar with my ex, it was never enough. There are men who don't behave like this.

The biggest reason not to have vaginal sex is because your uterus needs to to go back to size and your cervix to close- to keep from getting dangerous infections inside your uterus, thats an open wound that just had its innards skinned out. If you wanted to have anal- I would personally go for it. I wouldn't do it if you are still feeling sore though. My man had to wait longer than 6 due to emergency c-section taking a rougher toll on my body- I waited to be cleared for any physical activity due to that.

I would hope that you would be agreeing to it because you enjoy anal vs you just trying to take care of his apparently high needs.

Also my man takes care of business next to me in bed too- not to that frequency by any means- but I will occasionally wake in the early morning to it when he's really just trying to go back to sleep. Your person sounds like he's very young and not to understand of why no sex to begin with.

This guy is just an all around 🚩🚩🚩🚩 ….. I hope you leave him

Yeah so I hope no one needs to tell you that’s totally inappropriate for him to pressure you like that and to go so far to disrespect you and your body as to try and literally “sneak in” I mean penetrating you without your consent, especially against your express consent is sexual violence, I’m sorry.

Go get a dinner plate from your kitchen and put it on his stomach. Remind him that the reason you’re not having sex is not to deprive him, it’s because there is literally a wound inside your uterus the size of a dinner plate and it is still healing and vulnerable to infection from penetration and any fluids from his body. In addition your vagina and pelvic floor need time to recover as well. Trying to say anal is fine “because the baby didn’t come out that way” is totally ignorant of your anatomy, and incredibly selfish. Ask him if he would want to do anal after passing a dozen jumbo kidney stones through his penis.

If he is pushing for sex when it is medically unsafe for you, that is literally him wanting to use your body for release, not even treat you as an actual human being sexual partner. And I am so sorry. That is not ok. I would strongly encourage you to have your medical provider tell him he has to wait even longer because for some reason your No isn’t good enough for him. That’s a huge red flag. The fact that he has already tried to violate your body is concerning. His priority right now should be your well being and the well being of your child, not getting off. If he is unable to be selfless enough to prioritize *you* over sex for a few weeks, then what kind of relationship do you really have? Sex is not a drive, no matter how much ppl say it is. No one has ever died from not having sex. No one needs sex to survive. But you do need to keep your body whole and safe to heal from your birth. He needs to back off.