Text messages sexually frustrated husband

Yes address him how are you so calm. I would have my foot in his ass right now. You shouldn’t have to question if you should confront your husband. So what 11 weeks you just had his child and he’s at work acting single

This is making me laugh, my heart is actually racing, I think I'm just in shock u know that someone who meant to love you is looking u dead in the eye every day and then messaging behind ur back. It feels so weird right now looking at his face snoring away as I feed his son!! I wanna just slap him and his colleague! I actually want to shake is ass up and go off at him but I never really have and it's not in my personality but I'm kinda holding off until I know what to say and my little baby is right here next to me 🥹

It's 2am here in the UK, he'll get up go to work tomorrow like he done nothing wrong, stay at his event until later then come home say he's tired. I know i shouldn't but I'm literally feeling like I'm glad this happened so I can fully go off on him about how shit he has been lately. And ur right I'm frigging 11 weeks post partum... its alot...

Oh my goodness please you have to address this!! Bless you 😭 Damn right out of order, I think I’d be changing the locks and having him on his way!! I’m 14w pp and we still haven’t had sex because of your reasonings above but If I found that out I’d be waking him up there and then I think😣 Sending hugs!! ❤️

That is completely messed up and it needs to be addressed! 11 weeks is not that long to go with pregnancy and postpartum! Is can understand sexual frustration but he doesn't just get to go elsewhere to fuel his fire

Real shit 11 weeks is not a long time and i don’t think there’s any amount of time that makes it right

I don't really know how you didn't throw his phone at him there and then! I'd be fuming. He should not be doing that when you've just had his kids and are looking after it!!

You’re much calmer then I would be. I would have woken him up by throwing the phone at his face!

Thank you @Sophie I soo want to wake him up right now. I'm too nice. I know I'll fester on it all day, I can't sleep now... part of me is wanting to just keep it in and see how he acts tomorrow when he wakes to see if he over compensates. It's true man what they say you can always get a feeling that something is off and also that men are actually dumb/ trash! The thing is this guy was talking about our honeymoon planning it, planning our lives in a different city and our sons life. He made me dinner last night and saw I was sleepy so he said go to bed and I'm a good mum (which I know I am!)

thanks for the validation @Angel-Leighia Ill address it with him tomorrow. I wish I could look again at his phone, he actually rolled over and put his phone on the floor which screams guilty but I already saw the messages so ya too latee

Thanks ladies. I'm so not confrontational wahh I want to wake him and throw his phone and lose my shit but I don't know why I can't I'm too soft and don't want to wake our baby. Part of me wants to see how he acts in the morning and then rock up to his work losing my shit to embarrass him! OK now I'm just over thinking everything and want to cry. I wanna go in the other room with my baby or go for a drive but it's 3am here !

lol my man would’ve been woken with me slapping that phone right across his face ( don’t condone violence) but ain’t no way i can be calm after seeing such messages. But yeah it needs addressing hun because that’s out of order! you’ve just had a baby, your body needed to heal and he needed to be patient! & don’t ever feel bad either babe at the fact that you wasn’t ready. 11 weeks isn’t that long to wait! I hope they haven’t done anything sexual already. But yeah i would’ve took her number down and kept it - when you address it tomorrow tell him to text her infront of you or call her to say that their messages are inappropriate and it CANNOT continue & if he doesn’t ring that nasty ass woman yourself.

Yeah I want to take her number down but now his phone is on the floor and I know hell wake up lol tbf though like what u said Im gonna get him to message her in front of me and say whatever this is ITS OVER! The fact that he mentions her name to me and talks about her like I didnt know he was texting her like that makes me even madder... he thinks he can play me but women always find out in the end as men are dumb af Yeah I feel like i could finally have sex now after 11 weeks so we could have done the deed anytime if he would just have waited or even spoken to me about how he was feeling! But hey it is what it is and now i dont even want him to touch me lying asp cheat snoring away next to me..Hes lucky i dont hold his nose lol ( dont condone violence either) I should try sleep and get ready for my big confrontation in the morning x thank you @lyndsee

This is not right what he is doing. Address this as soon as possible, and dont let it force you to be intimate if you dont want to. On the hand, 11 weeks is a long time to lose connection to your partner. Talk about it, and hopefully, you both make time to build that connection again.

Send screenshots of it to yourself over text and leave the messages to yourself there on his phone for him to see. So he knows you know… then see what he says about it (I know… A little toxic. But I like to put the ball in their court) 😂

This is Cheating. Kick him to the curb and never look back. He’s doing this to you after you just had his son. He has no respect for you. Sexually frustrated or not. He’s probably a narcissist as well and will blame you for not being intimate with him.

@Atrous i know its a long time probably for him but for me its flown by ive just been focussing on my little baby and trying to be a good partner but baby takes precedence 🙈

lol @Chloe lol amazing i want to do this but i should just have a go at him and talk gosh ive been up since 1 am its now 4 am great...

Yeah I'm just saying. I been there already. Any opportunity use it.

Arghhh f’in men! How you’ve managed to hold this in since first seeing messages, you’re amazing hun. 👏🏽 and yea, if you can, either send yourself the proof or take photos on your phone. I looked through my husbands phone days before giving birth and found out he’d been inappropriately messaging a little skank that works for him! I confronted him that night, and he clearly felt like a dick. I also rang the office she works at the next am to confront her. I’ve met her a few times over the years, and same as you, my husband would mention her when discussing work. 🙄 If you can, when confronting him, I’d take his phone. It won’t give him the chance to delete stuff. And stay calm, be the bigger person…. It’ll probs freak him out more if you don’t go in all guns blazing. If it’s anything like my husband, it was an attention thing, and he didn’t have balls to bring up how he was feeling to me. So sought it elsewhere 🙄 bloody men!! Xx

It may turn out that he dont deserve it anyway. Good luck

@Katie i know right if it were that easy i would, i wanna hear what he got to say and his excuses first!! I'm thinking why do i even try with him he has no respect!

@Jennifer What youve said is exactly what will happen. I know it's that, i can see he wants attention but I'm always shattered and so is he he claims . The only reason I'm holding it in is because for once i want to get what i want to say out! I always stutter and waffle in arguments so i want to say all i wanna say! I'm glad you've had the same situation. I know that if i dont say anything he wont bring up how he feels cz thats what he does. He cant say if he feels like hes getting less attention or less love etc probably because ' men dont show emotion' 🫠 I'm gonna try sneak around the bed now to look at the messages hope he doesn't wake up wish me luck! xx

Tbh I’d delete the number from his phone and block her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Omg, the sneaking round the bed.. relatable 😂 If it’s any consolation, for us, it gave us a relationship reset. We have some other issues too, and we’ve both dropped a bollock on how we treat each other, but we’re trying really hard to ensure we have that communication opening up more between us. It’s been tough, I mean, literally 5 weeks ago right now I was messaging my best mate like ‘you won’t believe what I’ve found out’. I saw a turn around in my husbands behaviour though, once it came out. I really hope for you and baby’s sakes it’s a similar situation. Good luck missy. Xxx

I would of had some damn heat to that damn face. Have his ass climbing that damn wall scared as ever at me. He wouldn’t think about no other woman because all he would remember is me kicking his ass! Please say something I don’t care if you haven’t had sex that’s not a reason. Please don’t make no excuses for him. I would get that colleague number and text her

My heart breaks for you this is almost what happened to me with the girl wise, I stayed. It's hard to trust again I still find myself checking his phone constantly. We won't last much longer I'm sorry you have to experience that hurt. You just gave life to both of your child don't try to make excuses about this, he could of looked at some pics or you or if he don't have any some porn and his hand he didn't need to go start a whole work fling while you are dedicating yourself to your baby

The way my heart dropped when I read sexual messages where exchanged I’m sorry friend and send love and strength do you live urs

Can we get an update after confrontation I always wanna know what happens after like there reaction and what the explanation was. You better then me I would of definitely smacked the phone across his head and had him call her and explain that my wife knows and is going to leave hr a tip About Sexual harassment from her to Potentially lose your job just to scare and f with her because she knows he married and a new baby I’m sure. Idk I’m a lil crazy girl that’s why mine don’t even play with me he shows me everything. 🤣😅

Damn sorry you’re going through this! Idk how your holding it in!

I would consider this cheating. I wouldn’t even consider having sex with my husband if he did this. We jointly decided to have children. We jointly undertook the responsibility, which includes maintaining our relationship and staying faithful to one another. I think you’re making a lot of excuses for him. 11 weeks is not a long time. Not in the grand scheme of things. If he’s sexually frustrated he could sort that out solo. He could also understand that you’re absolutely exhausted and help out with the baby, enabling you time to maybe have a shower, put on some perfume and feel a little more like yourself and then potentially be in the mood, rather than just expecting that you’ll fit all of this into your new, chaotic and endless schedule. I think this is is a huge betrayal and I wouldn’t be standing for any excuses about postpartum. If he had some sort of surgery that required a 12 week recovery period with no sex, would you start sexting someone else? I suspect not.

11 weeks or not, there’s no excuse. Send yourself the evidence and confront him with it. He may very well blame you but he is a grown man and has made his own conscious choices. Remind him of this if he dares to blame you. You are a queen so he better show some respect for you and himself. Decide what you would like as the outcome and tell him to do the same.

Thanks @Jennifer ❤️ I hope it is the same for us. I've done the sneaking and found out that they have been messaging a while. I might DM you if that's OK. Now i feel like a complete idiot man how can this guy look me in the eye and tell me bare face lies ! I think I'm gonna shake him out of his sleep

Ladies I did it I got his phone he was fast asleep i went in the kitchen and read all those damn messages... I found out they kissed and they have been sexting . aI shook that mf up and threw his phone..I'm actually laughing as I write this because it sounds like some kind of film. He woke up in a daze saying what what I'm sorry and saying my name saying stop please... i know i was wrong etc etc... I was like 'u effing liar'... Then we discussed how long it was happening...he said they kissed once it meant nothing and we havent had sex for a long time even before when i was pregnant (which is true as i didnt feel like it etc) I think for the past year since we got married we havent been communicating our needs, then we got pregnant and here we are. I was able to control my needs and obviously he wasnt. He got involved with this thirsty hoe at his office who is lonley. I knew that they were friends and he used to talk to her about life etc. But yeah i didnt think it would escalate into anything.

Where abouts are you in the UK? X

we were drifting a little bit as he doesn't know how to communicate we were going to get counselling but didn't , he is a nice guy and principled , he kept saying i know you are disappointed in me and im disappointed in myself...I thought would never do this to me but it just shows anyone can cheat all mfs!! He was saying how we just both never spoke about having sex...it's true I didn't.. but neither did he...and we just drifted. Now I'm sitting here nursing baby like WTF...

London, East London xx

I don’t care about the excuses he’s a dick for this and I’m sorry. Stick to your guns don’t let him turn it on you.

What are you going to do? Do you have people around you for support? I live in harlow which isn’t far if you do need someone x

Honestly i look at him and think how could u u idiot and he is all remorseful etc... then i think eww youve been texting this girl all through my pregnancy and birth... I want to see the messages again i want to see EVERYTHING!!! I want to ask him to show me again. Last night I was looking fast...

don't know what to do. We are married and planning our big wedding in October... wow its all hitting me now. All the fakeness. I want the ground to swallow me... I want to run but then I want to stay and try counselling for my little boy ❤️

What if it continues? What if he stay message the colleague? They have to work together but what if they meet after work like it’s going to be hard not to wonder 😩😩whatever you choose protect your heart

Sending you lots of love. Feel free to DM me if you need to, I’m out atm so will reply when I can. Why are men so stupid sometimes 🙄 you have every right to feel the way you feel and also to want to see everything. Xx

This is straight up cheating

It’s good you opened his phone. You needed to know. Personally I wouldn’t take this lightly. You just had a baby and your husband, who you said vows with, is texting another woman about sex. Whether you and him have been sexual recently or not is no excuse for him to behave that way with another woman which at this point, postpartum or not probably isn’t going to matter to him. You really should address it with him and consider any other options that you have, you deserve better for you and your child

Yes confront him. Because whether y’all have sex or not he’s most likely going to keep texting the girl. And don’t feel to pressured to have sex. You just had a baby. Birth and delivery labor is a very hard process and caring for a newborn postpartum is hard so our partners need to be supporting us in every way possible. I could really care less if he’s horny it’s disrespectful to be carrying on an inappropriate relationship after his wife just gave birth to his child. I swear some men are so clueless and insensitive.

I hope counseling works for you, if it doesn’t , nothing wrong with that either. Picture life 20 years from now, better to be alone or find someone else than to live constantly reminded of what he did ….

Oh honey I’m so sorry this has happened to you, will you still be getting married or will you postpone? If you ever need someone to talk to my dms are always open. I have no friends anyway lmfao 🤣

Delay the wedding and say you're now not ready... and when he builds his trust back if that's even what you want to do then you can reconsider marriage. Don't get trapped in something that may result in him continuing to cheat.... if he really want to he will wait and do as you say. You can tell people you're delaying it due to money or anything if you don't want to divulge his dishonesty to everyone... even though you probs should... no need to protect him!

Thank you ladies for all your comments. I see them. I've been in a weird mind frame these past few days... I look at him and think I can't believe he did this to me... we've talked and I realise I still love him. Things weren't good sexually for around a year before he did this but it does not give him ANY EXCUSE to do what he did to me! I hate him for this, I want to move forward but I know I will doubt him all the time. I hear you all when you say leave him, I just need to see what that would look like for me and my son. Money wise we'd be fine. Id probably move back to my hometown and get help from parents and family etc. Its weird that now this is out in the open we are communicating better, but I dont want to be lead into a false sense of security... I need a break... thank you all again for your support and advice it has realt helped xxx