Feeling broke

Alright so, I know I have to stop comparing myself and my baby to other but it’s so damn hard! I always thought I would be a good mom but the more I talk to other ppl or the other moms in my antenatal group the more I feel inadequate and just broke AF. I see them getting outta the house everyday and doing swim classes and buying this thing or that and all I can think of is “is my baby behind because I’m not doing enough. Will she be at a disadvantage because I can’t afford all this stuff and activities?” It makes me feel like a bad mom. Like already she doesn’t stand a chance of competing against these others as she grows. She’s 5 months this week (3weeks early tho) and she doesn’t roll over, thought she has been working on it for months. She doesn’t do proper giggles but more of an excited tongue out screech. (Real ones sneak out sometimes tho). I’m afraid she’s behind or will be because I can’t afford all the toys and stuff that everyone else seems to have. They have sit me up doughnuts and jumperoos, and toys I’ve never seen. Fancy bath stuff, baby monitors, sensory tents… and I’m over here with finger puppets, board books, I giant bath sponge, and a dumb amount of muslins to play peek a boo. She practices sitting by being in between my legs. She plays in her gym with same hanging toys she has had for ever. We rarely go out cuz what are we going to do and I don’t drive so rain is often an issue. Most of our toys are used and I am just feeling like shit. Pic so we don’t get lost.

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Look for free activities to do. You don't need money to always spend on your child to develop. Go to library there's always lots on. Go to local council or google local stuff. Make your own toys and games or join the local toy exchange. Not going to swimming or coffee dates wil not disadvantage your kid one bit. She's gorge and too small still to worry over these things. Start saving to get her into these activities whenever you can.

Unfortunately more of the “local” stuff is further away than I can walk with her. I often do do a lot of activities with her that’s just me, songs, finger play, we do crafts (aka paint in a bag) or bubbles etc. I get things off Vinted and am not afraid to take other ppls hand me downs. I guess I just never realized how hard it would be to not compare my economic standing with others. Makes me feel even more like I don’t have a village or like I’m failing

You are not failing. You are doing everything you can with what is available to you and that is more than enough. Some babies just take a little longer to get the hang of some things and that's okay. I know it hurts seeing everyone else with things you can't get for your own child but if you dwell on that you will drown in sorrow because of something you can't change. Your baby is beautiful and looks happy. She doesn't know she's missing out because you are doing everything you can to keep her occupied and working towards the milestones. You love her and it shows and that's all she's going to know

Honestly, it sounds like you’re doing a great job and your baby won’t be disadvantaged. The amount of stuff that some people buy is so wasteful and a lot of it is unnecessary and driven by consumerism. Keep doing what you’re doing, your baby will be fine 😊

Just remember, all these new toys and stuff haven’t been around forever, and humans did perfectly fine before that. Have a look on tiktok, thru have loads of ideas on DIY activities for babies. I get freezer bags, fill them halfway with water, put stuff like cooked pasta in them, seal them up and let baba smack them during tummy time. She loves it! That and looking at tin foil! Jesus Christ, it’s like crack to her 🤣

@anonymous just saw this and thought it may be of interest to you? I’m gonna do a couple as well ☺️

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJgsKrbb/

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