My husband and I have been together for 7 years, weāre high school sweethearts. We have been through a lot together. We have been through some rough times with his family. He didnāt talk to his dad for years. And I donāt blame him. In the last 2 years we have tried to reconcile our relationship with them. And it was going ok-ish. We had our son in January. They live less than 15 minutes from us, and has met him 3 times. My husband has multiple siblings/ step siblings. His dad really only sees his step childrenās kids. They see them multiple times a week. He has other biological grandchildren he doesnāt even see. He doesnāt really even talk to his biological kids. We try and try but they just say āwe will get togetherā then never reach out⦠I am mentally drained from trying to fix this relationship. My husband is too..Iām not sure how to fix this, or should we just throw in the towel? I want to save my child from the hurt. I donāt want temporary people in his life. I want him to know he is loved and cared for by multiple people in his family. I donāt want him to go through what my husband has had to, because thereās a lot of hurt there⦠Iām just at a lossā¦š
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I feel you. I have many family members that don't show the effort I'd like. It's such a tough and emotional position to be in of wanting more for your kids as well as processing your own feelings about the situation regarding your (or in this case your husband's) relationship with them. I've personally decided to take a different approach. I considered your position but felt like my son could handle meeting and interacting with some people on occasion and that I might be projecting my own stuff on the situation. So he talks or sees these people on those occasional meet ups but I don't pump up the interactions or relationships. He seems fine with it and not heartbroken at not speaking to them but is okay when they pop up (he's 2.5 right now). And then I nurture myself during these situations because they're still tough for me.