Single mamas… moving on/relationships

My relationship broke down during pregnancy too.. I think it’s very important to make sure anything casual FWB vibes far far faaaar away from your child bc it’s not fair on them and they absolutely will remember it and it will have an effect on them. There’s lots of research to show that ‘revolving door of potential step parents’ has a negative effect on children so to me I think it’s important to keep ur relationships separate, always put the child first and only introduce them when you know for certain there’s a future between u because eventually they will see them as a parental figure. I’ve also been the one dating the single dad and it was so sad for the child when we broke up so v important to navigate that properly and sensitively xx

Also for me I’m not open to casual relationships or FWB so because I know exactly what I want I just need to make sure my non-negotiables and boundaries are very strong and I know my child wouldn’t even know about me dating someone unless we agreed and knew for certain that were Gna go for it and build a future together but if ur more open to trying different relationship styles etc then defo think it’s so important to keep it separate from ur child and make sure it doesn’t impact ur child especially if it will cause any sort of issues between u and their dad, that’s abso paramount that any coparenting is unaffected too xx

Echoing what Shannon said above. I was the child with a revolving door of potential stepparents and I hated every single one of them. It was such an unstable environment. So definitely go out and have fun but don’t introduce your child to them, even six months down the line if you think it’s a sure thing, wait longer. They’re always number one now before your own needs and certainly before a new partners.

FWB/Casual is fine but it can get messy quickly. I’d definitely rather casual than FWB if I was in that position again. But never at your house and never when your child is around. Only when they are with trusted family members if you feel comfortable having them stay out.
I was the trusted auntie for my friend to go dating for many years and still am now that she’s single again and her LO is 7 now. She kept her kid far removed from her love life from day one and it’s been refreshing to see a kid be a kid rather than worry about if a new parent figure around/if mums happy

Failing that, Lovehoney always have a good sale on so technically you don’t need a man to satisfy your needs ever…

Yeah I’ve been the “step parent” too and it didn’t work out and it was hard losing the guy and the child so I totally get not introducing kids to anyone lightly.

Anyone got ideas of how u knew when u were ready…or did it just sort of happen?

I think if you’re still asking if ur ready then it’s probably a no. You could try going on a date and see if that sways you. I went on one date and instantly knew that I wasn’t ready for all the bullshit that comes with dating 😂 I’m far too busy and it’s time wasted I could be spending with my baby and my family! I think maybe try and figure out what ur non-negotiables are and go from there. If u don’t even know what you want I would probably start there and figure that out first. You need to know where your priorities lie, for example I know I won’t start considering dating again until I stop breastfeeding and can actually leave my baby overnight xx

I feel like going on dates and spending time with guys would be nice. I miss male company and I think I need to feel desired again.
I like making an effort and getting all dressed up to go out with friends again and I’ve been doing that more and more.
But yeah I do get that my wee one does come first and he always will. So im not sure about leaving him to go on a date but I guess that’s maybe more mum guilt that im having there, cause in the beginning I didn’t want to leave him to go out with friends but I realised I have got to still have a life of my own but it’s not all the time.
I don’t know what non-negotiable I have?
I guess they need to know that my wee one comes first and there’s time when I might cancel at last minute and that they’re not gonna meet my little one right away or even at all. Any dates will be out and will not be carried back to mine, but I dunno if that’s what I’d call a non negotiable?
Yeah my wee one would just be told that mummy was out with the girls.

Suppose you can only try and see how you feel. And if it’s something ur not willing to negotiate on then it’s a non negotiable xx