I can’t stand my aunt
This isn’t a MIL post, but I am in desperate need for advice. I am 23 and have two amazing kids, and live with my parents while my partner and I work/ save up to get our first place. I live with my sister, mom, dad, grandmother and aunt (from my dad’s side). She is a very negative and insecure woman, always commenting on people’s appearances when she doesn’t even like herself.
My daughter is 3 and has very mild autism. She is verbal and can say sentences, but has been delayed with speech since 18 months, so she doesn’t speak as clearly as a 3 y/o would. Ever since my daughter was two, my aunt has always been super critical about her speech and would make comments saying “when is she going to talk, is she ever going to talk? I can’t understand anything she’s saying” and it’s pissed me off so much. I’ve brought it up many times and told her to lay off. She knows she has autism and that she’s delayed and every child develops at her own pace. What upsets me especially is she has NO kids to even be judging my daughter and expecting her to have the speaking voice of a five year old. I just don’t know what to do. I’m trying hard to avoid arguments because she is such a victim. When you call her out on her sh*t, she feels like it’s a personal attack on her character and tries to act like she’s the victim.
My daughter has come so far with her speech. She may not be where she needs to, but I celebrate these little, and big, milestones with her speech and meet her where she’s at. Sometimes her speech isn’t clear, but she’s in therapy and we’ve been working on it for a year now and much progress has been made. She just gets me so mad with this crap. Like leave my daughter alone and stop trying to compare her to other kids. She’s who she is!
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I would lay into her and say if she ever speaks about your child like that again then you’ll have a serious fall-out. Ask her why is she bullying a 3yo child with autism? Is she that unhappy with herself?
She should see it as an attack on her character, because by the sounds of it she’s an arsehole.
what a c*nt - i never use that word! but what the actual heck!! your daughter is 3 & autistic?!
is she that much of a bitch that she feels the need to be such a bully & so critical towards a 3 year old?!
she need to get a hobby or a day job or some ish!
as above i also would lay the HELL into her. how bloody dare she!! she should feel attacked, let her play victim all she likes. she’s a grown ADULT getting at a BABY?!
this makes me so mad!!
kudos to you & your girl mama, your both doing amazing!!🥰🫶🏾
You need to respond with “your a grown ass woman and I can’t understand half the shit that comes out of YOUR mouth half the time so how about you lay off my child. She is three and has better manners than you, so how about you fix yourself before commenting on others”.
Pretty sure she will STFU after that.
Aargh this makes me so mad. She sounds mad insecure!! I have an autistic child as well and get just how sensitive such issues are. The worst part about this is that your daughter may start to internalize this and it may affect her self confidence (I really hope not). Please, I'm sure you are already doing it, but just in case, always reassure your daughter that there is nothing wrong with her speech- make it like a routine where you do it everyday and whenever that pos says anything. Turn it around so that it seems to your daughter that it's that woman that has an issue with understanding and not your daughter having an issue with speech. Kids feel so good about themselves when they learn new words and can express themselves more accurately so its such a shame that your daughter's progress is being 💩 on by that pos. At the same time, keep giving her shit about it and I hope you guys get to move out soon so you and your daughter don't have to deal with her anymore
Maybe try talking to the other people you live with about it, like your mom and see if you can get some backup so you can have a full conversation about it where you know other people can help you make the point. Sometimes its easier for people to hear things if they are told my more than one person(like an a$$hole intervention)
She is mentally ill, just remember you cant reason with her. When I was young my aunt was one of my favorite people, but she did some terrible things to me and my family. She was never properly diagnosed but she was definitely mentally ill but medicine isn't what it is now. You just have to keep in mind that there is zero reasoning with this person. Try your best to let it go......
ndara
Thank you ladies for your responses. She’s extremely out of line and she always likes do to that crap or compare my son, who turns 2 next month, to her. My son is a bit advanced for his age with language, and other skills, but I never compare because every child is different. She likes to compare his speech to hers and I stop it right then and there. What good is it to compare kids?? It ruins self esteem and I’ve been through that with them my entire life growing up. I’ve tried having conversations with my mom about it and thankfully she’s put an end to it. My dads side of the family is extremely mentally ill, but have and will never get diagnosed. I’m just saving money and counting down until I can officially get a new place and once I do, I’m cutting off ALL contact with her. She’ll be lucky if she even sees her once. Nobody who is going to implement negativity or insecurity into any of my kids lives will not be given access ✌🏾
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