Depressed in marriage

I am so depressed and it is taking control of me. Some days, I'm good and happy for like a week or longer, and then it just creeps back up. I take medication for depression, I have been taking it off and on for 5 years now. I believe my husband is the main cause of my depression. We got married a year ago, and the day of our marriage, I was having second thoughts, but I felt it was just too late, and I didn't want the embarrassment and judgment. We had only been together for 6 months before we got married. I realize now that we rushed and now i am dealing with the reality that we are not sexually compatible. when we first got together we would have sex like once or twice a week, it wasn't bad sex but it wasn't great either because he would get off and i wouldn't, but then again I just thought we just needed time to get to know each other's bodies and what we like. I have always had trouble having orgasms with penatration alone and when I started using my vibrater during sex I think that set something off in him. He stopped having sex with me and whenever I tried to initiate he would just make an excuse that he was tired, or had a headache. We didn't even have sex on a honeymoon. I began to feel hurt and self conscious about my body and that I am not enough. What makes it worse is I know he masturbates on his own. He has lube and wipes his room and the evidence in his trash. I am not against self pleasure but it's the fact the he is doing that over having sex with me. I came home just recently to him jacking off to porn in front of the computer screen , and I was just in shock and so hurt after that. I have talked with him about how I feel several times. I have tried reassuring him that his penis size did not matter and that I used my vibrator in past relationships as well. I can not help how my anatomy is. So now I just defeated lately he has been so nice to my and going the extra mile to do things for me. I feel like he is overcompensating and feels bad for watching porn and getting caught. Even still things have not changed and he still is watching porn and we continue to have a sexless marriage. He feels if he does everything else perfect in our marriage that it would make up for him not wanting to have sex with me. I feel so unwanted. I am 26 years old and he is 38. I feel like my sexlife is over and it is so depressing.

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Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

Love my husband. Love my kids. But…

I’m 32 weeks pregnant with twins. I take care of my 4 yo, 2 yo, and 1 yo. I barely have energy to stand anymore. I cuddle and watch movies with my kids all day at this point. My husband is less pushy in this pregnancy in wanting to be touched or love up on me. But I feel more like a tool these days more than ever. He gets frustrated (not to a crazy degree) but I can tell he huffs because he’s probably sexually frustrated from me not wanting to be touched on. (my boobs are super sensitive atm) I love having the babies part, but the pregnancy also now has me feeling like a baby making machine. And a tool with big boobs made for touches and my husbands pleasure. Ofc I love my husband and kids, but with my hormones all wack, it really doesn’t feel the same when you’re not turned on. It’s so hard for me to get turned on. I’m uncomfortable all the time in my own body. Babies moving in there all the time. My children cuddle me all day but get rowdy at the end of the day, so I end up getting touched out and I can get irritable when my husband tries to touch me affectionately. He doesn’t have the tact necessary for me right now, when I wish he wanted to go in for a normal comforting hug I’m let down more often than not, there is almost always a boob groping involved as well. I tried to just let him touch me last night so he could get it out of his system, but he could tell I felt tense. Wish my boobs weren’t such an uncomfortable place for me to be touched. Idk why I’m making this post. Probably just to vent. Wish men were equally as emotionally intelligent as women. Wish I didn’t feel like I still owe him something because he’s picking up a lot of the house load and yet I still need to ask him to do more before these twins arrive. He’s tired every day when he comes home, so he takes a shower sometimes works out, and helps get the kids to bed. So it’s a struggle getting him to help any further than that. Weekends are my only time to get to him. But it’s a struggle to find time on weekends too. I know if he wanted to he would. But there’s just no drive.

If you DO NOT buy things second hand, it is mainly because:

Answer only if it applies to you.

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️