“Will do you good to seperate from baby”. Help me have a response to this

Hey! So my parents in law come to visit every 2 months (they live in another country) and each time, since my baby was 1 week old (now 1YO), they tell me to leave and they’ll take care of my baby or joke that they’ll just take her when I dont look. I looove spending time with my girl, I’m always looking for new activities or games to do with her. So each time they come and say this I just tell them I love spending time with her and I don’t need a break from her.

Now she’ll start day care and they said “this will do baby good to get away from you” and “it’ll do you good to be separate from her”. My MIL said she HAD to separate from her 1st when she was 4MO (she had 3 children and did the same with each). I get that some people need time away from their kids, it doesn’t mean they love them any less, but I dont have the feeling to “need to get away” from her. I have my few hours of me time/husband time every night from 8pm when she goes to sleep and I feel totally recharged for the next day.

MIL doesn’t like that I quit my job to take care of my girl and is always throwing in comments about how “this generation” of women staying at home ruins all that her and her mothers generation did for us or giving examples of how “wrong” other moms are to do this.

I just need them to stop these constant comments. Its not like I’m hurting anyone or excluding my baby from society, we meet up with other people/babys and go out with her lots. And I wont always not work anymore just because I took this first year to take care of my baby myself. Onces she’s used to daycare (in 1-2weeks hopefully) I’ll go back to working anyways.

How can I reply to them to just shut up but in a nice way? Hahaha

Thanks! 😊

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As if this generation is the first to have SAHMs? Lol, no. That's been going on for decades and actually used to be what was expected of a woman. So, your MIL is ridiculous for that comment.

I would just politely tell her that you're not interested in discussing this anymore. Then, next time she brings it up, smile and excuse yourself. If she doesn't get the hint after a time or two, tell her you'll be keeping your distance until she does.

The way you speak about your feelings towards your daughter is simply gorgeous ☺️ You sound like a really loving and caring Mum, and all of that time you've invested in your little girl is the best thing for her.

I'm not sure where you or your MIL are from but it's completely normal in the UK for women to take a year of maternity leave 🤷🏻 I was off for 13 months. My little man is 17 months now and I adore all the time I get with him but I'm back working 4 days a week and really wish I was with him more. Respect to the stay at home Mums and the working Mums!

Don't let anyone put you down. Enjoy the special time you have with your daughter. Anyone with an opinion on how you should be approaching motherhood/work can do one.

Just say “it might have done you/your babies good but that doesn’t mean that’s the case for everyone objectively across the board”
“Oh really and why is that?” Then when she gives her answer “I don’t agree”
You can say it nicely too x

I feel the same as you, I don’t crave a break. I don’t want a break. I don’t need a break. My MIL made similar comments about how we needed more help, like how my husband was raised surrounded by extended family, so I could have breaks. I just told her that absolutely would not work for me or my mental health since I love caring for my baby all day and love the peace with just the 2 of us, but super glad it worked so well for her. It’s so mind boggling how people think their experience is the only way and best way for everyone.

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