Divorce?
How do you know if its better to stay together or split? My husband and I fight almost every day, at least 2x a week. I really thought things were getting better because we seemed to be having more productive disagreements instead of horrible arguments. But I feel like I really am not happy. I feel like I don't have his help with the baby at all and yet he calls me a bad mom. I'll ask him to join us for story time (not even a chore just something fun) and he says no!! Which breaks my heart. Then yesterday he tells me that he's sad because he feels like he can't spend time with her??? He's just so frustrating and he tells me to be more responsible then he spends 3 days straight playing video games all night and day, ditching work to nap, asks me to make him lunch (when I was about to nap with the baby) and then gets all pissy at me when I ask him if he could clean up the kitchen after I made him lunch. This conversation about the kitchen is why we've been fighting all night. I'm at the end of my rope and I really don't know what to do.
I want my baby to have a 2 parent home. I don't want to have split custody, I like that because we're together I get to spend 100% of the time with her. I couldn't imagine even 2 days a week without her. š I'm also a little paranoid about losing her because I don't have a job and his family has way more money for a better lawyer.
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We considered divorce. But we are in marriage counseling and trying to work things out. I would try it. it's helped a lot. He's also in individual therapy too.
He does a lot around the house and stuff. But I had to have a few conversations with him about the mental load and how exhausting that can be.
He works 12+ hours a day everyday. So it's really hard to manage it all without him. Plus I work. So it can be frustrating
This time of a baby's life is hard on everyone. So I would maybe just wait until they are more independent and try working things out.
Iāve always been told that you shouldnāt ācountā the first 1-2 years after having a child against your spouse, and to wait at least that long to allow them to adjust. He does sound like heās being a huge child, but there is still time for him to change and get into the swing of things. A lot of men struggle to connect with babies but then become amazing engaged fathers once they are toddlers.
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