grandparents visiting

if you live states away from both sets of grandparents, when would you want/have them visit their first grandchild? i want to set boundaries but also be fair. with them being halfway across the country they’re already not going to see baby as often as any of would like & that makes me sad. we actually don’t have any family out here at all. what are your thoughts/advice? thanks

p.s we are are due first week of november & planned to have grandparents come for thanksgiving since we will be spending it alone otherwise. my mom may come sooner to help

all advice welcome please !

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My mom is coming the entire month of November but is not staying at our house (she is gonna be in her RV at a friend's house)

My MIL will be coming to visit for 11 days starting the 29th. I am due on the 22nd. This is my 2nd baby and the 1st baby was born in 2021 so she was nervous to come due to covid. So she didn't visit till his first birthday. My husband really wanted to make sure this time she was apart of the early stages. Plus I welcome any help! After my first I learned so much. So this time around I'm okay with having her stay with us even though it may be so soon after. Everyone is different but if it was my mom I would want the same grace. So I did what was comfortable with my husband and I.

Here’s my two cents, but at the end of the day it really depends on your personal comfort level of people being around, your relationship with the people and whether they’ll be staying with you and their helpfulness. With my first we had my parents scheduled to come out 2.5 weeks after my due date and stay with us. I ended up being 2 weeks late so they were here literally days after my son was born and for me it was too soon. I couldn’t walk due to stitches, couldn’t cook dinner, and was still figuring out nursing, sleeping, etc. I was also so emotional it was overwhelming having company even though they tried to help. It was also a lot of pressure to try to spend “quality time” with them since I hadn’t seen them in a couple years. This time, I’m due NOV 8 and we are not having anyone come out till Christmas and then having them stay in a hotel. At that point I’ll be able to actually enjoy company, be mentally more present, and also have that initial bonding family time just us.

BUT….I may regret not having the help and extra set of hands in the tough early days. At the end of the day, I personally get stressed no matter who is in my space, and am more of a private person. We’re also older (late 30s) and set in our ways 😝 so I think it’s be different for someone much younger like early 20s who may appreciate help more 🙂

I'm going to let my parents on both sides come visit a few days after born. But ONLY them. Then I will take about a week to rest and adjust. After that I don't really care who visits so long as they ask first.

thank you! my MIL & FIL both plan on coming & with this being my first child I just don’t know how I’m going to feel. that’s what worries me. i think i’ll definitely have my mom come to help out for a little

thank you!! my mom is extremely helpful when it comes to doing things around the house & stuff so I do think it would be good to have her around. just with my in-laws i don’t want to feel uncomfortable because i’m still healing, it’s my first child, etc. that’s why I debate on waiting a couple weeks at least

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.