Another baby?

I’m a FTM to 10months old baby and my husband want to have another baby. Is it a right time to have a baby this early? I’m literally confused because I also wanted to have another baby but with this one right now I hardly get time for myself. As I wfh because of the baby as I have no one to look after the baby and my husband doesn’t feel good for having a babysitter over at our place nor he wanted to send him to any daycare. I don’t want my MIL coming over at my place to look after the baby as she is really irritating. I had really bad experience with her during my first pregnancy. She doesn’t allow me to have anything to eat. If I used to crave for anything she used to tell me that wasn’t good for the baby. And again she is coming next month to stay with us for whole 6 months and during her stay my husband wanted me to get pregnant again. I can’t tell this to him as he is a mamma’s boy. What should I do?? Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

If you’re not ready to have another baby then it’s not the right time for you. You have to stand your ground and explain to your husband that it’s only the right time when you BOTH think it’s the right time

Avatar

If you're asking all of the above questions, you're not ready for another baby. You need to have zero doubt in your mind that you're ready to have another otherwise it'll ruin the entire experience for you. X

Avatar

If you are not ready you should tell him. Have a conversation and talk about when you think you’ll be willing to, why you are not ready now, etc. Also if he is not the one with your baby 24/7 I don’t think it’s right he decides 100% that he doesn’t want daycare or babysitter as I think it should be a decision made by both of you and depending on your situation. Maybe daycare one or two days a week would give you some time to do something else that’s not taking care of a baby. Being a SAHM even if you work from home can be rough and you should comunicate your needs to your husband and he should try meet them if possible

Avatar

Speaking from experience it is very important that you have some time for yourself. Visits with friends or family, self care and a little time away from the kids each week. If your husband can understand this and stay with the kids at least a couple hours a week otherwise have someone you trust to watch them. If this is not possible and you are not wanting to have another baby then I would recommend telling him you want to wait longer. I love having my two close together but it is challenging and you need to take care of yourself.

Avatar

Dr recommended waiting until 18 months

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Avatar

1

12

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Avatar

30

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Avatar

1

3

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Avatar

10

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

Avatar

1

7

Tv good or bad

My 4 month old loves TV shows especially dancing fruits and baby TV is this a good thing or a bad thing at this age?

Avatar

3

10

Read more on Peanut