Partner shift work

Anybody else’s partner work a variety of shifts? My husband is a police officer so works long days, afternoon & evenings or nights.

During the night and late evening shifts he basically sleeps all day, is that normal? I’ve never worked nights so I don’t know what to expect. He will get up to eat with us and maybe spend an hour with the kids but not much else and it’s really hard going for me to have my two year old constantly wanting me and my baby needing me!

Anybody who works shifts able to let me know what it is like and how much I can expect from him? We have obviously had conversations about it but he just says that working nights is so tough and he is just completely shattered. Which I understand… but me too 😂

Any other mums in the same situation? How you coping?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I worked on ambulances for a few years and after a night shift you do just sleep the whole day until you need to get up again for the next shift, it is exhausting 😅 haven’t done it with kids at the same time though so does make it more complicated!

My partner does two weeks of days and two weeks of nights. But his night shifts are often 6.30pm until 3am... He will usually try and get up for 11am, but by the end of the second week on nights he could easily sleep until 1pm.
If I'm shattered he'll take over completely and I'll go to sleep for a few hours but then it feels like we don't get to see much of each other... it can be very tricky!

My partner works works weekdays this week his doing 14 nights straight. It is hard on both of us. He sleeps all day only wakes to eat, spend an hour or more with baby if I am shattered then sleeps again before he has to go to work. I don’t normally ask him to take baby but he realises he needs to bond with him so makes the effort to spend time with him. He also does all the cooking.

How am I copying? I just get up and do what I can. I cannot change the situation, I’ve accepted it and that has helped me cope better. My baby is EBF, I pump once a day. (Except this week his refusing the boob) and doesn’t sleep through the night. I take the help when it’s given but generally I’ve accepted that it’s going to me me and baby most days and night and not stressed about it.

my partners a police officer also on his sets of nights he gets back home around 8am depending on shift times and usually sleeps untill 2/3 spends a few hours with us before he leaves at 6 for the next night shift x

in our community

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

Tv good or bad

My 4 month old loves TV shows especially dancing fruits and baby TV is this a good thing or a bad thing at this age?