What do you do when you’re at your lowest?
My kids are 8 and 9. I married my husband in January of THIS year. Been together 6 years. Today we got into an argument because he doesn’t know how to control his emotions. Some things I let slide but we were all in the car and he started banging on the steering wheel out of anger. Mind you my kids are in the backseat like wtf happened. And it triggered me so I spoke up like why do you allow whatever you’re going through to impact everyone else around you. More so pertaining to the kids. The argument blew up and somehow got to him telling me he hates coming home but couldn’t give me a reason why. Then I tell him we need to sit down and have a conversation and he tells me over and over how he doesn’t want to talk and there’s nothing to talk about. I am in shock because this is the first time he’s said these kinds of things to me and I thought we were thriving in our relationship so now I’m just embarrassed and besides myself. I don’t know what to do. But I can’t continue on like certain things weren’t said. What does that say about me? As a person? As a MOTHER? I take marriage very seriously but to him I guess it’s disposable. I work from home. I still clean every day, cook every day, try to sit and have dinner with my kids because he eats at like 10pm and could care less. Do homework. Get them ready for bed. By myself. I’ve given this man more of me than I’m willing to admit. I’ve been there mentally, financially. Who’s there for me? When does it come back to me?
I’m so lost idk what to do at this point. I’m broken
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I hear you, I see you. Im sorry you're going through all this.
What's changed in the relationship recently?
He lost his mom in May. She was very sick in a nursing home for a long time before she passed. He acts normal with everyone else but at home it’s just different.
I'm sorry for his loss, sounds like a very upsetting time in his life.
Sounds like you do a lot around the house and for him already. Keep up the great work and be there for him while he grieves.
Perhaps alone time or have a conversation about how you can support him while he's going through this struggle.
Sounds like his not able to bring 50% to the relationship right now.
Sounds like he feels safe and trusts to you to be himself around you vs. everyone else
The loss of his mom puts things into context. I think men grieve differently to us women and by their very nature they not good at talking about their feelings.. be that as it may, you have every right to stand up for yourself and expect to be treated with the same level of love and respect you show to ur hubby. You are not responsible for your husbands emotions only your own. Next time there is an argument or disagreements instead of focusing on how it makes you feel...focus on how you respond. It will make a world of difference...ur hubby will hopefully pick up on it and see the change in you which intern will cause him to introspect and be a better person. All the best!!
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