My sister called me last week to tell me her wedding is in February. I’m due in November with baby number two. When she called to tell me about the date she also informed me that they will not be allowing kids under 13 at the wedding. She is saying they would arrange child care for just my two children (which I already know is going to cause problems with her fiancés family as the mil has already expressed her disapproval of the no kids rule) She lives in another state from me so just going to a wedding doesn’t exactly work for me. And I’m not exactly comfortable with traveling that far by myself with a 3 month old and 21 month old as my husband won’t have the vacation time for it from work and I can’t just leave them home either. I haven’t said anything to my sister yet because I know she won’t understand and it will be a big fight. I already know it’s going to be that she came to my wedding and she doesn’t see how I can’t come to hers. I’m not even sure if I can deal with the drama and backlash I already can see coming.
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This is a tough one, personally I wouldn't go, she's asking a lot of you and even if you do accommodate her you're gonna be uncomfortable and stressed the entire time. I couldn't imagine traveling anywhere with a 3 month old and especially with two children by yourself. And you have to take care of your kids and prioritize them over everything. Idk I don't necessarily have any advice but you're valid in being on the fence about this and whichever option you choose. You shouldn't have to receive backlash for looking out for your kids first and foremost, your 3 month old won't benefit whatsoever from this far journey and who is going to be there for child care?? Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable with any of it.

I agree with the above statement, but I'm a people pleaser when it comes to my family so I would end up going even if I didn't want to just so they couldn't be mad at me. So my advice would be if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't want to go either. So if you are strong enough to put your foot down, I say do it. Sending encouragement your way!!

I couldn't imagine going that far without my baby at 3 months old. He's my first and I still haven't been gone from him for longer than work work hours and that alone is torture. If I can't bring him to a wedding then I'm just not going. It's their choice to not have children at the wedding but that's still asking alot of you. Also who is gonna do childcare while you there? I hope not just some random person you've never met.

My biggest thing here that popped to mind reading this was I don’t really think I’d be comfortable with someone in a different state minding my baby? Do you know this person? I mean, even if my sister knew this person I’m just really funny about those things