Venting

In a way, I totally get how you feel, only it's with my MIL. When my oldest (now 9 years old) was born, it was understandable for the first 4-5ish weeks because we lived in Hawaii (hubs was Army until 7 years ago), but we've lived in Virginia for the last almost full 9 years. She lived in South Carolina but traveled through Virginia a lot to go to Pennsylvania to visit her family or even came to Virginia for vacation (Williamsburg primarily). She never once visited and instead wanted us to travel a couple of hours to where she was with a baby after hubs would get off work (during the week at that, and he was MP so he had crazy schedules).

She stole pictures, off of my Facebook, at Christmas time when oldest was an infant and reposted them as her own pics and kept going on about how proud she was, how happy she was, etc. Until I called her out, then she blocked me until I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter.

Here we are 9 years & 3 kids later (hubs and I have been together almost 14 years), and she still hasn't met either girl in person and probably won't meet her grandson (almost 9 weeks old). Hubs is the middle child of his siblings, but we're most likely going to be the only ones to have kids, so her only grandkids. She was just in Williamsburg and wanted us to come down there but didn't tell us she was coming or even in the state until she only had 3 or 4 days left of her vacation. So I understand where you're coming from. I would be extremely frustrated and pissed too...I would likely go low contact for a bit to give myself a chance to cool off, and if she asks why, explain it as calmly as possible.

Holy shit I'm so sorry

That's kinda my plan tbh. I think low contact is best at this moment for me and my son

Unfortunately, that's just how some moms/MILs seem to be...they're either helpful, waaaay too extreme, or just not involved. I don't talk to MIL at all unless it's a hello when hubs is talking to her, and that only happens when he calls her.

You have to do what's best for your sanity and for your son; if she doesn't understand that in the long run, then full no contact may need to happen, at least for a short time.

I will add that as military spouses, whether current or former, we end up becoming a little tougher than others, in my opinion. You've got this, momma 💙

I think the situation is deeper than what you are writing. However, we don’t know the whole lay out of years to understand the real root of the situation.
However, the situation sounds ridiculous and you just need to not count on her. I wouldn’t communicate. It will just make you more frustrated and depressed.
I’m sorry you are going through all of this. Raising a baby alone is no joke. I moved away from my family and it’s been brutal. All you can do is your best.