Passive aggressive MIL (bruh post)

Bruh
So my husband and I just moved to a new area around 10 months ago, and we really hate it. Largest jackass to nice person ratio I've ever come across, and i lived in Eastern Europe. It's small-town vibes, so I've been yelled at for an atm not working and taking too long. I've been followed around stores, and I yelled at them for tipping more than 30%??? Not to mention, my husband has been scammed by an apartment complex. His work promised a week of paid paternity leave, and he never got it, etc. I could go on for ages. So, needless to say, we are moving.

His MIL apparently has an issue with this. I have no idea why as she's never involved with our kid. But she told me a story after i told her all these issues with this town, and the story basically made me out to be the bad guy. I wish i could say husband defended me, but he didn't really pick up on her nuance (he's austistic).

She was pretty much absent throughout my pregnancy, postpartum, and now. She neglected all of her kids too and half are in jail or worse. She's really nasty, loud, obnoxious, and this like fake type of tough. It's like she wants to act like a man it's bizarre. Anyways, how do i deal with this? She's super gossipy, too, btw so if i say anything, it'll be known by anyone. I usually just keep my mouth shut. But im worried also for my kid and the fact that my husband loves his mom so much despite her being a complete ass all the time. I think he misses her a lot bc he never actually got raised by her (babysat all his life then sent to boarding school).

What would you do?? I'm glad i dont see her often, but i see her often enough to be sick of her shit. Help.

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Sorry autocorrect: i got yelled at for not tipping more than 30% *****

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Yikes! 😬 I definitely feel you on that. I'm glad my MIL isn't exactly like that, although when there are issues she doesn't tell me instead she tells my husband and makes him feel bad. I don't like but he wanted to stay for his siblings, which I understand but feel like he takes their side when I don't see eye to eye with them. It's pretty frustrating. He usually puts them first over me and denies it when I bring it up. I've even told him before I found out I was expecting if he wanted to move to a different city and start fresh, he straight up said no to me. After we found out we were expecting he then said that we should go with my idea. We've been having some dilemmas with both of our families so it made sense to go on with the plan yet it's been postponed for a good while. I can't deal with the way they leave the house and it's been causing my anxiety to spike up to where I feel really overwhelmed. My grandparents offered us my dad's house since it's empty and we wouldn't have to pay rent just bills.

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Yet he found an excuse for us to not move out. This whole issue has been putting a strain in our relationship. So I totally get where you're coming from. I know how stressful it can be.

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Omg! That sounds awful im so sorry :(
Why does he want to live with his siblings so bad, that's so strange ive never heard of that.

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It is honestly. We were going to get our own place, but his mom was struggling and his siblings were going through some tough things such as depression and family issues. Since he's basically the father figure in the house. His siblings have been pretty rude to me even during pregnancy, which I've told him and he pretty much hasn't done anything about it. He says he does but there's no improvement. When we were talking about moving out he was saying about his brother moving in with us which I obviously didn't want. If we move out it's going to be him, our baby, and I. No one else. He still had that idea until his brother got a gf. Now his brother's gf wants us all to live together which I definitely don't want. It'd be her, her 2 kids, him, my husband, our baby, and I. I don't like picking up after everyone here except my husband and I. I for sure don't want to pick up after everyone else. My anxiety already gets the best of my right now I don't need it getting any worse.

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Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

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