Baby is born and my partner is awfully irritable/aggressive

Our baby was born 10 days ago and although my partner has increasingly become irritable over the course of my last 3 months of pregnancy, right now the situation has become unbearable. He’s snapping for everything, he’s very aggressive in his reactions to normal issues related to the baby/organization of the house and he does not help with baby chores.
His reason for this is that he’s got a very high demanding job which provides us with a comfortable life over the average. His job is truly demanding but so is mine as a new mum having to stay awake all night and breastfeeding every hour. I struggle to even take a shower or change my pads because I feel like asking him to help will just make him even angrier and I don’t want to deal with it.
I have to add he’s always had unsolved anger issues which were more manageable when it was the two of us. (Also need to add he’s never laid a hand on me - it’s more like screaming and going from 0 to 100 for small issues) He did some therapy in the past and loads of work on himself. He had gotten better and I have been patient with him as I know he’s got some wonderful sides of his character too.
Right now though, all these issues are coming back and I am struggling to handle it. I am so disappointed and I don’t feel supported at all.
I just wanted to vent, I am not really sure what I will do, I am just very sad and disappointed.

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Sorry to hear its got bad again. If he's been through therapy and got help before do you think he would be open to that again? Perhaps a calm conversation when baby is asleep to say you've noticed he is getting stressed again and ask what is causing it? Then you know exactly what he is feeling stressed about and can make a plan to resolve it? But don't forget to say how you're feeling too. I've heard of lots of people sleeping separately when partners go back to work or having a dedicated hour each night to swap and dad has baby so mum can wash/relax. Hopefully you can sort something out which helps you both out ❤️

Sending a hug, your a strong mama, and you do what's right for you and baba ❤️ asking for someone to help while you shower should not be a burden, that baby is magical and anyone who gets to hold them is lucky!!

That really sounds like he's got mental health issues, possible anxiety or depression? Can make you really irritable and I think the affects on men when having a baby is often ignored xx

Wow, that sounds really tough on you! You are doing an amazing job keeping your baby alive and happy despite the lack of support! Well done Mama x

If you do want to seek professional help, Emily Hughes (Finding Flow Parenting) is amazing. I've done a 1-1 parenting workshop with her to help me with my tendency to be triggered by my son's outbursts. I actually met her today and she said most of her clients are Dads! She does work with individuals, couples and groups. Worth looking into if you're at all interested.

Thank you ladies, these suggestions are gold and your sweet words really brightened my day 🥺🤍

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