WWYD? Do you cancel everything and go?

you already booked your stuff, go with what you booked. Tell her you’ll be there to help her with what she needs and support her but unfortunately can’t come to her wedding.

I’m not going 🤷🏽‍♀️ sure I would feel bad but you can’t expect people to drop what they’re doing for something that you’ve given short notice of. especially since it’s been planned for almost a year and I’m sure you’ve paid already. If SHE were truly a good friend, she would understand your plans and continue on with her wedding without you.

Don't cancel your holiday, she should appreciate that people have lives and if you plan a wedding one month in advance there will be guests that can't make it. Talking behind your back is not being a good friend and really she is asking you to put her wedding before your family and make a financial sacrifice as I assume you wouldn't get a full refund.

If you really want to keep her as a friend I would say the holiday is non-refundable and hope she drops it. Otherwise I wouldn't bother with her.

Yeah, she decided to plan a wedding with a month's notice. She should know people have lives and might not be able to make it on such short notice. And I'd she were a good friend, she would understand that and not be talking behind your back. You put way more effort and planning into your vacation than she did her own wedding, don't cancel.

that is exactly what I told her. That all the money would go to bin as there are no refunds for cancellations, specifically the plane tickets as the hotel could be rearranged, but then my man would also need to adjust his holidays at work, which is not possible as in his company holidays are planned in a calendar within a year in advance. And we have been really looking forward to go and make this trip a special occasion.
She was biting her tongue and you could see the rage on her face. Since then she told all our friends that I don't put any effort into the friendship, that I don't care about her... That felt so manipulative and like a betrayal.
Her family used to love me, now every time they see me they look away.
I did offer help with the organisation of the wedding but she dismissed it. I don't know how to fix it, if there is anything to be fixed.

It's her problem. If it was so important to her that you be there she could have conferred with you on dates.