Narcissistic mother?

I’m not sure my mum is a narcissist but I definitely think some sort of personality disorder. Has a couple of lovely traits but the rest are incredibly toxic.

I put up boundaries (that she has no clue about) during covid because it was consuming my brain, especially after spending time with her.

Like little rules for myself

1. Restrict my time with her (literally give myself a time limit)
2. Don’t react when she’s slagging my dad off (literally just don’t say a word, it’s quite fascinating, she doesn’t actually notice)
3. Do call her out very sharply if she’s outright rude to me.
4. Don’t pander to her if she does childish things like leave what’s app groups, again literally just ignore her

You’ll have to come up with own rules that are relevant and helpful to you but first things first…..I think the whole doing her financials thing has to go 😬 surely?
Don’t tell yourself you can’t or you have to do it for her, forget how pissed off she’ll be when you tell her you can’t…..

….do it anymore. Just think firstly how satisfying it’ll be to feel in control and secondly the relief

I'm sorry you're going through this. I guess you know it already, but now it's time for you to take it easy on yourself. Is it possible for you to delegate your mother's finances to a professional? Honestly, it's nice from you to help her but that's not your job. You have a lot on your plate and if helping her is only bringing more drama, now it's time to unplug.

I'm coming from a family with a narcissistic mother that decided to make her visit to meet her grandson, about how people are speaking on her back for not sharing pictures of my baby on FB.

Feel free to reach out :)

Thanks for the kind responses! I like the idea of rule setting for myself. I definitely try to do this....I often don't respond or let her rant (she can talk to no one for 30 minutes without a breath), try not to get mad about things and only pick the fights I care about especially with my toddler. Most things say distance but it's impossible with my family as we're all very close, and my toddler goes to her school. I keep telling myself she won't change and I have to, it's just so hard and I keep expecting her to care or change but it doesn't. We've had this business argument several times, and she often says no one asked you do to the finances, teach your siblings (which I have and they don't have interest). I'm worried the business will go off the rails but the pressure is a lot especially with a growing family.

My mom is narcissistic, luckily I moved across the country from her. But she only wants to see her only grandchild (16yrs) for maybe 2 weeks out of the entire year. Will only see my her oldest for less than a week for the entire year, and it's because she's in the same town for a buisness trip. She came to where I live for my daughter's sweet 16th birthday and her behavior had triggered me to have a full blown ptsd episode the night before the party. She didn't even bother to ask if I was ok.