Let’s be honest, I’ve been lying about how I’m feeling, the support I’m receiving

Since this pregnancy started, I was happy at first and then the thoughts took over about how I’m not ready, the first person I told was my partner and he was over the moon, since then we have just broken down.. we’ve had a lot of extra stress put on us due to our living, financial and family situations.
Me and him have been arguing constantly, a lot has been said, im not one to make personal digs in an argument but he has made a lot to me over these last few months.. I really wanted this to work, a strong family unit is important to me considering my dad was never around. The old me would have snapped back but this me is really submissive and down.. im constantly crying, im always saying sorry.. I just feel defeated. I don’t drive and all of the baby and my stuff is at his.. he’s told me to go away multiple times and that I should leave.. I’ve never felt so unwanted, a burden.. when we used to argue I would smash something and feel somewhat slightly better but I’m trying so hard to keep it together and keep cool, talk rather than shouting but he shouts at me all the time, brings up how I broke this or that in the past and I’m just feeling so f’ing small.. I’ve lied to my midwives about how I’m feeling, I don’t have media so I don’t reach out anywhere.. I have nobody to just come pick me up when I need to get away.. I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.. I’m not even seeking advice.. I just don’t know where to turn anymore.. I’m 32 weeks now.. this whole thing has put me off pregnancy.. I once upon a time wanted a big family..
I know I’m depressed and I know I should go see a doctor but I can’t bring myself to do it
I’m sorry for all of you who had to read this.. I just needed to get my thoughts out somewhere

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

So sorry you’re feeling down right now. It’s a horrible feeling when you can’t just enjoy your pregnancy. My baby’s dad cheated and left us last month so I know the feeling of not having a supportive partner. I can’t give you any advice as I’m in the same position just want you to know you’re not alone x

I've been in that type of relationship before and believe me not talking to anyone will not do u any good. Reach out to midwives or doctors, they will help. They won't judge or anything.

I made the decision to go through my pregnancy alone for this exact reason. I also didn't want a broken family but id rather raise my child to know what love is and not this kind of relationship. Good luck and please speak to somebody.

Hey, well done for reaching out on here! It's a great step towards doing what's right for you, which will ultimately be what's right for your baby too.

My husband left 2 months ago and so I'm going it alone, and I've found a lot of comfort in reaching out to various people. Not that you necessarily will be doing it alone, but for now you need to have people to let out all your feelings to, otherwise it can feel like youre losing it! Remember the midwives are there to help you, and can direct you towards appropriate services. I broke down in tears in one of my appointments! It really doesn't matter, they've seen it all.

My ex fiancé and I had exactly the same! I was a wreck because of how we were and how he was so supportive to begin with. Then my labido dropped (which he didn’t like) and I was crying so much we would argue all the time. He was horrible. He sent me back to my mums for ‘a few days’ and ended up splitting up with me and kicking me out at 19 weeks pregnant. He now has another girlfriend and moved her in.
I was upfront with my dr when I first saw the signs of depression (I suffered years ago).
I am now on antidepressants which has helped so much and getting extra support with the midwife has been a godsend.
I didn’t want a broken family but I had to think about what was best for me and baby. He now has no input because he just is not bothered in the slightest but tbh I am happier now than I ever was.
Reach out to the professionals. You won’t regret it. They are there to support.

Message me if needed. Im sorry you’re going through this but we’ll done for reaching out!!

Ok I’ll

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.