separation anxiety

my baby does not fall asleep without me holding him or him laying next to me… if i put him in the bassinet, the swing the bouncer he’s crying… i can’t just let my baby cry it gives me anxiety i feel like i can’t get nothing done if he’s crying… he’s 3 weeks old tmr… any suggestions to try & break this habit im starting to lose it a lil bit… mind you i’m a single mom…

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Do you try to put him down as soon as he falls asleep? I wait 15-20 minutes after my baby falls asleep then set her down if I try sooner than that she wakes up every time!

i was doing that & it was working but i think he caught on… bc it just seems like this week he has been waking up again after 15 mins of laying by himself

i’m at the point where maybe i should lay one of my dirty shirts next to him lol

I would definitely give it a try It can’t hurt! I’ve also seen people put a heating pad in the bassinet to warm it then take it out before you put him in it could be the cold startling him awake when you put him down

I have to literally wait until my daughter is in a deep sleep to put her down in her bassinet she can feel that I’m not holding her

My son has been doing this too. Its been rough not getting much sleep. Last night I double swaddled him and had him lay on my chest for 15-20 minutes. He seemed to fall into a deeper sleep after that.

My son does the same thing. He will sometimes let me lay him on my couch he refuses anything else. Butttt I have to wait until he's already in a deep sleep. Slowllllyyy transition him off of me. And he has to have his sleep sack on . And I have to use this little pillow and a quilt over the lower half of his body all tucked around him to get him to stay so he still feels supported like hes being held. (I'm never out of the room with him so I keep watch) but that is the only way I've been successful so far

@Jazmine yes! I've been told this too that it makes them feel held still

exactly!! Even if it only works for 30 minutes it’s better than nothing!

same we tip toe out the room lol

I can’t even do that my baby hears a low noise she’s popping up lol

What’s worked for us is using a swaddle. We used the ergo pouch when he was smaller but he grew out of it and we’re now using the sleepea swaddle which velcros his little arms down lol and honestly it works wonders. I also dim the lights but don’t completely make the room dark if it’s a daytime nap and I play music while getting him to sleep that way if I make any noise once he’s down he won’t notice

But mostly during the day he likes contact naps so I get half of his naps in his crib or the bouncer. The other half I just have to hold him

in our community

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

Tv good or bad

My 4 month old loves TV shows especially dancing fruits and baby TV is this a good thing or a bad thing at this age?

Hi mummas! I need help with potty training?

My daughter is 4 years old, she will be turning 5 this November. I’ve tried everything I can think of, to help her and encourage her. I’ve tried bribing, I’ve tried sticker charts, I’ve tried buying her underwear of her choice— nothing. She’s suspected autistic. She will not try. She will sit on the potty at nursery for a few minutes and that’s it! At home, nothing. Any help would be greatly appreciated 🎀✨