Anyone else becoming easily frustrated on mat leave?

Hi everyone, I'm 37+5 and I've found myself becoming really short tempered with my partner, we've had petty arguments the last week and I feel like he's really just pushing my buttons so easily. I've been off on maternity since 24th August and I CANNOT stand it, my partner uses the car for work Monday-Thursday unless I have an appointment and need it myself, then I have to drop him off at 6.30am and his finish time varies, so I can't make plans for the rest of the day incase he needs picking up. I've a 3 story house and I'm cleaning 3-4 times a week, I made myself cry today with pain but it needs keeping on top of which my partner is useless at, he only cleans when I ask and even then it's a quick clean and not my kind of clean. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed, my C-Section day is approaching and I'm a nervous wreck, I try and make plans with friends to come around and nothing comes of it, my phone is soooo dry and I literally message nobody all day, barring my mum and partner.

How sad that I had to go to aldi today for the food shop, I struggled to carry 4 very heavy bags, then treated myself to a McDonald's hot chocolate and it felt like a day out for me. My body is so tired and sore, I can't keep up my standard of cleaning around the house (I'm a massive clean freak, but it really helps my mental health having a clean home), I feel completely useless as all I want to do is sleep but my head won't switch off and I cannot settle during the day so I end up making myself even more tired and sore.

Is anyone feeling just so rubbish? Sorry for moaning 😔

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Can you ask your mum or a friend for help with cleaning etc? ☹️ seems like a lot to be doing this far on and you don’t want to cause yourself an injury before labour! Or split it up into smaller tasks so you’re not doing loads 3-4x a week. My midwife has told me to go plenty of gentle walks so maybe you could try and structure your time by doing this with a nice coffee and listen to some podcasts? X

I have been the complete same, I finished up on the 12th aug due to being off work all the time anyway with sickness/sciatica & it feels so hard as I’ve always worked been busy ect, I’m at the stage where I want to make plans but I’m so knackered all the time I cancel which makes me feel worse as I’m stuck in the house while my partner works, then cleaning just seems never ending! A think we just need to remember why we’re doing it n we will have our baby’s soon & life won’t always feel so doom n gloom!! Take a day at a time & hopefully you will feel a bit better 🩷 x

I honestly could have written this, everything is EXACTLY what’s happening to me even down to the time my partner goes to work! I hope it helps that you’re not alone, if you would like someone to message throughout the day please send me a message!

As for cleaning - take it really easy and only do what you can do. I have OCD Level standards but have just had to realise I can’t do it all at the moment. Could you get a cleaner if you feel you need it? (Apologies if this is financially unviable). Could you make a list of things you might enjoy (small not physically demanding) and try to do a little thing each day which might help to lift your mood? It will get better, but I really do appreciate how hard and long the days are xx

in our community

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

Tv good or bad

My 4 month old loves TV shows especially dancing fruits and baby TV is this a good thing or a bad thing at this age?

Hi mummas! I need help with potty training?

My daughter is 4 years old, she will be turning 5 this November. I’ve tried everything I can think of, to help her and encourage her. I’ve tried bribing, I’ve tried sticker charts, I’ve tried buying her underwear of her choice— nothing. She’s suspected autistic. She will not try. She will sit on the potty at nursery for a few minutes and that’s it! At home, nothing. Any help would be greatly appreciated 🎀✨