How to grieve a pet while pregnant?

Hello ladies. I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby and yesterday I lost my cat of 13 years. I feel like this sadness / depression is not good for my baby but I can’t seem to get out of it. Does this get easier? I feel like I’m constantly suffocating.

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I lost two pets during my pregnancy.. we lost two dogs in June that we had for 16 years. It was heart breaking. I was also worried about if the baby could feel my sadness so I started really focusing on the nursery and nesting like the hospital bag, birth plan, etc. During this time I got everything done.. it really help with the grief.

I’m so sorry to hear that. This is a pain I would never wish on anybody. It’s my first experience with pet loss and I have never fell into such a deep depression and I’ve lost all 4 of my grandparents. Every time I cry I feel the baby start kicking like crazy so I’m sure he feels something isn’t right. The worst part is my baby shower is tomorrow and I have so much to do today but no motivation or energy. Maybe like you said preparing for the baby can distract me a little. Thank you 🙏🏻

Sorry for your loss. I experienced this last year. My 6 year old bunny got sick while I was pregnant, and I had to put her down after weeks of trying to fight and her staying in the hospital. It was one of the hardest times, and I was so so sad. It took a lot out of me. Then my grandmother got sick and passed a week after my daughter was born and never got to meet her. (talk about heartbreak) It does get easier over time, but it will take a time. Almost a year later and it still hits me their both gone. Try to remember the good times. It's okay to cry to get it out, but try not to dwell too much.

We got the sweetest little puppy when our first round of invitro failed 12 years ago. While we were finishing the nursery painting on Father's Day, she took her last breath. She was with us through every setback, every miscarriage, and everything between. I think she stuck around just long enough to make sure our baby was healthy. I held her for hours and just cried. I still cry for her. We had her cremated, and now she sits in a beautiful shadow box with her sweaters and favorite giraffe toy. It still breaks my heart, but she was the best dog, and I take comfort in knowing she was there for me when I needed her most.

You’re allowed to be a person. Sorry for your loss!

I think it’s okay to grieve a loss. I get what you’re saying but you’re still a human being with emotions unrelated to your baby. Grieve your cat!

I’m sooooo sorry you had to go through this. It sounds terrible. My biggest fear is losing someone and them not being able to meet my first son. I believe your bunny and grandma would want you to be happy knowing that they are by your side always. I’m hoping it does get easier. Every time I cry it seems to let a little pain out but I wanna fast forward time so I can smile when I think of her instead of crying.

that’s the thing with pets. They get you through the worst times of your life and when they are sick and dying you feel like you can’t help them back. Also, whenever I was sad or going through something, she would be my go to for comfort and now that she is gone and I’m hurt I still feel like putting her on my lap. Her purs did heal a lot of my wounds. I’m so happy that your puppy got to see you through your pregnancy. I truly believe they don’t go until their business with you is finished. I’m sorry you had to go through such an experience but I’m happy you got your blessing at the end.

yeah that’s true, I just hate being a human having to feel these emotions right now lol. Thank you so much 🙏🏻

I just hope my baby doesn’t feel the grief also. I can’t imagine putting him through distress or risking anything happening to him, but you’re right we’re human and it’s out of our control. Thank you!

unexpected loss is so much worse than loss. I’ve been knowing for a month now that her time was coming so I had some time to mourn a little before she was even gone. With unexpected loss, you have to start from day one and Omg it must be horrible. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve cried a lot this month and I thought it would be easier by now but it’s not. I hope all of our fur babies can rest peacefully knowing how much they mean to us. I don’t think this kind of thing gets easier but instead we learn to live with it. I’m sorry for your loss.

@Aya I believe that we all grieve in our own way. Take the time you need, and don't worry about doing it the right or wrong way.

I'm sorry you had to go through this.

thank you! My first pet passed away and my first baby will be born soon. I think it’s just the circle of life ❤️

Lost my pup in July, unexpectedly. We got him when he was 10 and was a part of our family for 7 years. He was our first baby. We were devastated. We think about and talk about him every day, and it helps. We had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years, and a friend said he waited until it finally happened for us, so he could leave us with something to love and take care of as much as we did him. We also got a puppy that needed a home, and that's helped, too. I'm sorry 🙁

I lost my 13 year old dog during my tww for my first pregnancy. It's okay to cry but make sure you keep eating

ugh that breaks my heart, but it’s also comforting knowing he saw the pregnancy happen for you guys. I truly believe animals understand everything we go through. Talking about her helps but then I find myself crying after 5 minutes lol! I adopted a kitten 7 months ago so she has been making it a little easier on me that I can still feel the presence of a cat, but sometimes she does things that remind me of my first kitty and it hurts. I’m sorry you had to experience such a pain being pregnant as well 🙏🏻

I’m so sorry you also had to experience that. it’s strange how many people lose pets while pregnant. I’ve been hearing about it a lot lately. Maybe it’s for a reason. I don’t have an appetite at all but force myself to eat small things because of the baby. Thank you 🙏🏻

I feel your pain. I had to put down my 12 year old dog 3 weeks ago now....
It does get easier. If you have ever lost anyone important in your life before I would compair it to that. Yes it will get easier. Time heals wounds. Your in my prayers hun. ❤️

I’m so sorry to hear that 😢 it’s so so hard, but our babies will always live in our hearts no matter what. It’s so fresh right now so it seems like I won’t get passed this, but each day the memories make me smile more and more. Thank you ❤️

I’m in the exact same position now. 33 weeks and my cat was 12 :( can’t stop crying

in our community

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?