She messages every day saying 'hi mummy how's little man' etc etc, never says my name. Then I've struggled giving him bottles when he's been all congested so tells me to sing 'our little song' to him, as tho I've not tried everything with him already. She was funny with me before I gave birth and basically told my husband she didn't like me and feels like she's not going to get to see my husband anymore, or her to be Grandson.
She's not chatty with me and makes me feel awkward, yet she messages every day demanding photos too. I do send regular photos to my family and MIL but I feel like she's taking over my life, she comes to our house at least twice a week and sulks with my husband if he doesn't ring her or if she's not seen our son. Really hard work, it takes all my time to reply to my actual friends and my mum when I get the chance but it's EVERY day. Said to my husband, can't she just say my name rather than Mummy I feel like I've lost my identity or something?!
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You could set up an i cloud family sharing photo album (that’s what I do and upload a few pics a day) that way everyone gets them and no having to message specific people pictures xx

I had the exact same problem with mine and it just got so unbearable especially with her coming round all the time that I ended up feeling that my baby was not my baby. It got to a point that it really started to affect me and I told my husband that he needed to put a stop to everyone visiting for a while. Then once I was able to go out and about then on my husband day day off maybe every 3-4 weeks we would visit them because that way we could come and leave when we wanted. It was better than her coming to the house because when she would come I just felt she was invading my safe space.

Maybe collect some examples of what she does and how it makes you feel and invite her for a cuppa and talk it out? It will only get worse otherwise and that way you can set your boundaries. Eg: I promise I will allow you regular contact but you can't just turn up without notice or uninvited. Or straight up ask her what her problem is with you?

Message her back saying
Hi mummy, my little man is doing well, your big man is also doing well. I'll send you a weekly photo dump. Have a great week, granny!
Haha @Seeker !