Fucking mornings

I just loveeeee... how most husbands on the weekends get to wake up whenever they feel like it....... have their coffee.. uninterupted... sitting in which ever room they please..just completely unphased....and unresponsive... to the absolute chaos that starts no later than 8 am...while I ... no i have to get everyones breakfasts..after one sip of coffee bc clearly me with a beverage has turned their typically idol hunger into starved lepers....or deal with the morning tantrums like the 5 year old who after filling the toilet with toilet paper after multiple self sufficient wipes says " I want YOU to wipe my butt" and relentlessly whines bc he doesnt trust that he got it all....but seems to do just fine all week in school...
Followed by a few "debates" of who gets to sit on mommys lap and so and so told on me... just enough bs to now wake the 1 year old Kraken... who the minute HE touches ground wants to play with onions or dig in the trash or fight me like a crocodile bc changing his diaper is a new concept......every fucking day.. and no matter how much I tell the little fucker NO he does not yet have the cognitive maturity to understand that No means no... so I cant really do shit but lock him in the living room with me....which is right around the time the 4 yr old instead of actually using the same vocabulary he uses to tell me about the stupid fucking shows i let him watch ... decides that whining until I GUESS wtf he wants or give him all my attention is the most productive way to communicate.... and with all of this and soo.... so..much...more I have my one beautiful cup of coffee that is now luke fucking warm and nearly full... ive already wiped 3 asses ..saved souls and fed the needy... but hubs.... nahh... you just drink up baby... and wonder if today is the day I ll feel up to some foreplay.🫡
#reportingforduty
#3boys
#4ifyoucountmyhusband
#5_4_1yearolds
Ps. I love my boys with all my heart ..no i dont need advice ..no i dont need to remember how much i will"miss this some day" yes hubs is a great guy.. yet still a guy... in all his male privelage glory...and yes... fuck em all... today...
Have a drink ladies...Happy Saturday!!!!!!!!

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Nooooo... id lose my shit if he thought he was getting breakfast... i wont even make the mfkers coffee🤣🤣🤣

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Whewww FELT

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🤣🤣I tried the 45 minute long shit thing they love to do... and i cant.. incant sit on a toilet for 40 minutes with ny asshole open and feel relaxed... so indecided to take a bath... ive been in here for 25 minutes and have been interrupted 3x by the 5,4 and 37 year old boys... and the one year old is currently roaming around the house whining bc he doesnt know where i am yet... he stops... abd then cries again... then stops and cries again... bc whike hes distrafted here and there hes still stalking for mama...

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I get zero help from my husband. Zero. He thinks he doesn’t have to clean up after himself. He never spends time with the girls when he gets home. He just lays in bed on his phone or watches tv. I can’t even take a shower without having to yell at him to watch the 1 yr old who wants to get into everything. I’m almost to the point in leaving him cause he clearly doesn’t want to be a husband or a dad. So he can fk off for all I care. I don’t need him.

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Oh i def wouldnt be able to tolerate anything more than what I deal with.. my husband isnt a complete tool he is helpful to his own degree and I guess thats my point is no matter how "helpful" your hubs is.. hes still fucking underappreciative and inacknowledged to the Bs we put with and the privelage he as a man has.. of being severely less competent than we are.. abd that is a fucking privelage sometimes. However the flipside which on days like these doesnt really cure all things... the flipside is our privelage is that daddy aint shit compared to mama...

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See we are part of the problem bc we are cursed with the inability to tune shit out ...

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LMAOO it’s the “ fuck em all today “ 😂😂 FELTTT

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Oh my gosh!! I absolutely loved this. I felt like i was the one venting. In the midst of it all, I feel so relieved knowing it’s not just me. I’m not being brutally picked on for no reason. From one overstimulated mom to the next, you are the bomb! ☺️

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This was hilariously accurate. But I absolutely feel your pain so I don’t find it too funny lol happy Saturday 🌸

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My partner takes my girl in the mornings on the weekend so I can sleep in but these comments have me mad at him when he’s not even done anything wrong😂 men suck🥲

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😂🤣😂 so true! My man yells “babe babe” SOOO much that now our two year old yells “babe” if I ignore his mama mama mama (louder each time until screaming)! Oh and when ALL 5 kids are here (mine 14,11 & 2 and his 7,6 & same 2 year old 😂) at the same time I want to jump off a bridge or run into traffic 🤷‍♀️

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Omg! This is my day minus the husband sitting around. He’s at work usually. I have a Pre teen, Tween and a 4 year old squirt. It’s Armageddon at some point during the day

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See this was us when our one child was little. I told him this is what we are doing you sleep in one day during the weekend and I sleep in one day. So whoever reads our daughter stories before bed is the one that gets to sleep in the next morning. It was hilarious when he thought I got to 'sleep in' on my days off work. Like no your spawn is still up bright and early.
Now I'm pregnant with number 2 but we are both still getting our day to sleep in when this baby is here.

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❤️ this 😂😂. When I die I want to be reincarnated as a husband/Dad x

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Oh boy!! What a fucking morning!! It’s 5 o’clock somewhere 🥂

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